My heart is broken yet again for difficult child. His first girlfriend (C), the one he used to go awol from TLP to stay with, the one he lived with off and on for those 2 lost years in Chicago, committed suicide last night. Heroin. She left notes. He had maintained contact with her over the years until just recently, when her addiction became too much for him to deal with. We just marked the third anniversary of another girlfriend's (B) suicide this week, the one he had toyed with the idea of proposing to. This is the 4th death of a loved one he's had to survive - 3 suicides and 1 murder. He's 24. I ache for his losses. I also ache for the loss of these young people - gifted, talented, artistic, troubled. Somehow, we're missing something here. How can we be losing so many of our young ones? Why is suicide such a reasonable option in their minds? But then, I remember when he was in Residential Treatment Center (RTC) #2, and he went to a mall and met a random girl who ended up being a cutter with some very serious issues. I remember a discussion on the board about how our kids will find fellow DCs anywhere, any time, regardless of circumstance. It's like they have Difficult Child radar. And I have to wonder if this is part and parcel of having a circle of friends who are DCs.... and I seriously just want to stomp my feet and scream out to the universe that it's not fair. Enough already. Enough pain that drives these young people to think there's no other option, and enough pain for the ones they leave behind. Just.... enough. He's been doing well. Passed state and then national exam for his EMT license. Has been making plans to leave the Midwest. Got sidelined by a back injury and we're waiting for that to be fully defined, but he's been doing really well. This morning when he walked in, I think the hardest part was his air of sad resignation. No raw grief, more like mild surprise that it took her this long to OD, intentional or not. He's decided to leave the Midwest sooner rather than later. I fully support that decision. I *pray* with all my heart that he will be able to build a new friend group of, if not PCs, then at least relatively minor DCs. He's endured more loss than anyone I know. Please hold a good thought for C's family and her friends.