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<blockquote data-quote="mollyzuzu" data-source="post: 714626" data-attributes="member: 21853"><p>THANK YOU THANK YOU. Lots of validation here, and yes I feel totally alone even with hubby. Son is adopted, both bio's parents had alcohol issues, not sure of drug issues. I am seeing a therapist to help me out, hubby "does not need one" so does not go. I WISHED we could toss evertyhting out of his room, but according to the trauma specialist, we need to come half way with him, and I guess that means letting him smoke "outside" at least if not inside. Gee as soon as I told him not to smoke inside and if he smokes outside, whatever, gee he listended to that. No more smoke in the house. He "tells me" that he is only going to do pot and not go on to heavier stuff. I think that is bull hockey, but "we gotta meet half way".</p><p></p><p>Yes, he is VERY jealous of our natural son, just 4 months older that is Asperger, gets A's and B's, high honor roll, on Varsity football and basketball this year, liked by lots of kids, but does not have many close friends because of the aspergers. adopted son says he will NEVER be as good as him and the other kid says that he can help him learn how to be like him, adopted one storms off.</p><p></p><p>We are not walking on egg shells so much any longer. But the kid just does not want to talk to anyone or do anything. He says he doesn't know what he wants to do. BUT he does know he wants to smoke pot and that only. He is having medications changed to help him with high anxiety and bipolar. So far, they seem to be helping. He says no, but I think they are.</p><p></p><p>I have been finding lighters in his room, I want to take them away, but agian the therapists say no more taking away, talk to him and tell him why you feel it is bad for him and then he will learn.... yeah right. we are trying that, we'll see if it works. The therapist that came over last week, AODA hit me below the belt when she saw sports son's calendar up on the kitchen door, handmade by me 3 months ago with all his practices, games and workouts so I know when he needs to be where. She asked when adopted son starts shchool and I had to tell her I need to find out, as he is at an alternative shcool and he was only there for 2 weeks before they let out for summer. She asked then about sports son and I told her his first day of school and when poictures were, she said "see?" Maybe if you knew a little bit more about adopted son and paid more attention to him, he would feel like he belongs. grrrrrrrrrrrrrr. He belongs, it's just he doesn't do anything that needs a calendar for. Iknow what she is saying and I just stood there with me mouth open catching flies. I said I would try harder. All for HIM. Yes a bit of testiness there. I have been trying so hard to engage him, but he doesn't WANT to, so what am I supposed to do?! and yes maybe he doesn't want to because I spend so much time with sprots son at games, which he and we HAVE WORKED SO HARD to get him to where he is and I wouldlike to see the fruits of his labor.</p><p></p><p>So, thank you once again and yes, I will use this sight for support and help.</p><p></p><p>Have a wonderful day</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="mollyzuzu, post: 714626, member: 21853"] THANK YOU THANK YOU. Lots of validation here, and yes I feel totally alone even with hubby. Son is adopted, both bio's parents had alcohol issues, not sure of drug issues. I am seeing a therapist to help me out, hubby "does not need one" so does not go. I WISHED we could toss evertyhting out of his room, but according to the trauma specialist, we need to come half way with him, and I guess that means letting him smoke "outside" at least if not inside. Gee as soon as I told him not to smoke inside and if he smokes outside, whatever, gee he listended to that. No more smoke in the house. He "tells me" that he is only going to do pot and not go on to heavier stuff. I think that is bull hockey, but "we gotta meet half way". Yes, he is VERY jealous of our natural son, just 4 months older that is Asperger, gets A's and B's, high honor roll, on Varsity football and basketball this year, liked by lots of kids, but does not have many close friends because of the aspergers. adopted son says he will NEVER be as good as him and the other kid says that he can help him learn how to be like him, adopted one storms off. We are not walking on egg shells so much any longer. But the kid just does not want to talk to anyone or do anything. He says he doesn't know what he wants to do. BUT he does know he wants to smoke pot and that only. He is having medications changed to help him with high anxiety and bipolar. So far, they seem to be helping. He says no, but I think they are. I have been finding lighters in his room, I want to take them away, but agian the therapists say no more taking away, talk to him and tell him why you feel it is bad for him and then he will learn.... yeah right. we are trying that, we'll see if it works. The therapist that came over last week, AODA hit me below the belt when she saw sports son's calendar up on the kitchen door, handmade by me 3 months ago with all his practices, games and workouts so I know when he needs to be where. She asked when adopted son starts shchool and I had to tell her I need to find out, as he is at an alternative shcool and he was only there for 2 weeks before they let out for summer. She asked then about sports son and I told her his first day of school and when poictures were, she said "see?" Maybe if you knew a little bit more about adopted son and paid more attention to him, he would feel like he belongs. grrrrrrrrrrrrrr. He belongs, it's just he doesn't do anything that needs a calendar for. Iknow what she is saying and I just stood there with me mouth open catching flies. I said I would try harder. All for HIM. Yes a bit of testiness there. I have been trying so hard to engage him, but he doesn't WANT to, so what am I supposed to do?! and yes maybe he doesn't want to because I spend so much time with sprots son at games, which he and we HAVE WORKED SO HARD to get him to where he is and I wouldlike to see the fruits of his labor. So, thank you once again and yes, I will use this sight for support and help. Have a wonderful day [/QUOTE]
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