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Parent Emeritus
It is not the fear of homelessness, it is the fear of coming home
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<blockquote data-quote="New Leaf" data-source="post: 672359" data-attributes="member: 19522"><p>A moment ago, a neighbor called.</p><p>I would not normally be home.</p><p>She calmly said</p><p>"I just dropped off your daughter in front of your house, she looks pretty bad."</p><p>Thanking my neighbor, I took a deep breath, said a prayer and went looking for her. She was up the road, lost, turned away from me, backpack, bags in both hands, she could not face me.</p><p>I went to her and hugged her. I took her bags from her hands and hugged her again and she broke down sobbing. I grabbed her hand and told her to come inside the house and get cleaned up.</p><p>She is bloodied about the face.</p><p>A wounded soul.</p><p></p><p>She is my daughter.</p><p></p><p>But she cannot stay here.</p><p></p><p>I will have to see if I can get her to go to rehab, or somewhere.</p><p>I am numb.</p><p>My heart is not breaking,</p><p>for I have seen this before.</p><p>But my stomach is sore, my na' auao.</p><p>The innards, the seat of emotion, churning.</p><p></p><p>Please say a prayer for us sisters.</p><p>This is the part that wears me down.</p><p>To have to be strong in the face of this.</p><p>I must be it, and resolute.</p><p>It is what I miss the most about her,</p><p>the strength.</p><p></p><p>So I must be it.</p><p></p><p>God.</p><p></p><p>Please.</p><p></p><p>Help.</p><p></p><p>Amen</p><p></p><p>Leafy</p><p></p><p>I told her to take a shower, gave her clothes I know I wouldn't see again.</p><p>When she came out, I told her I loved her.</p><p>I told her she was an adult, that our responsibility was to her brother, that all of the drama was not fair to him. I told her that I would always love her, that whatever mistakes I had made, I was sorry, but could not turn back the hands of time and change anything. </p><p>She said </p><p>"And I have to live with that everyday."</p><p>I was not abusive to her, I tried my best to raise her right. </p><p>We had many wonderful moments as a family, before drugs. </p><p>This is us, after drugs.</p><p></p><p>I spoke calmly with her and asked her what happened.</p><p>"He found me again."</p><p></p><p>"Who found you? </p><p>The guy that put you in the hospital? </p><p>Is that who hurt you? I'm going to call the police, this is assault."</p><p></p><p>She would not let me call the police</p><p></p><p>"You will only make it worse."</p><p>she said.</p><p></p><p>" What is happening to you? Why don't you want help?</p><p>You have a life, a beautiful soul!"</p><p></p><p>"Not anymore." she said.</p><p></p><p>She will not go to rehab,</p><p>or a dv shelter.</p><p>I told her that</p><p>she cannot</p><p>stay </p><p>here.</p><p></p><p>"I don't want to stay here."</p><p>She replied, flat</p><p>in a low </p><p>monotone</p><p>voice</p><p>her back</p><p>to me.</p><p>Then</p><p>disappeared</p><p>down</p><p>the</p><p>road,</p><p>taking</p><p>my</p><p>tears</p><p>with</p><p>her.</p><p></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px">sadleafy</span></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="New Leaf, post: 672359, member: 19522"] A moment ago, a neighbor called. I would not normally be home. She calmly said "I just dropped off your daughter in front of your house, she looks pretty bad." Thanking my neighbor, I took a deep breath, said a prayer and went looking for her. She was up the road, lost, turned away from me, backpack, bags in both hands, she could not face me. I went to her and hugged her. I took her bags from her hands and hugged her again and she broke down sobbing. I grabbed her hand and told her to come inside the house and get cleaned up. She is bloodied about the face. A wounded soul. She is my daughter. But she cannot stay here. I will have to see if I can get her to go to rehab, or somewhere. I am numb. My heart is not breaking, for I have seen this before. But my stomach is sore, my na' auao. The innards, the seat of emotion, churning. Please say a prayer for us sisters. This is the part that wears me down. To have to be strong in the face of this. I must be it, and resolute. It is what I miss the most about her, the strength. So I must be it. God. Please. Help. Amen Leafy I told her to take a shower, gave her clothes I know I wouldn't see again. When she came out, I told her I loved her. I told her she was an adult, that our responsibility was to her brother, that all of the drama was not fair to him. I told her that I would always love her, that whatever mistakes I had made, I was sorry, but could not turn back the hands of time and change anything. She said "And I have to live with that everyday." I was not abusive to her, I tried my best to raise her right. We had many wonderful moments as a family, before drugs. This is us, after drugs. I spoke calmly with her and asked her what happened. "He found me again." "Who found you? The guy that put you in the hospital? Is that who hurt you? I'm going to call the police, this is assault." She would not let me call the police "You will only make it worse." she said. " What is happening to you? Why don't you want help? You have a life, a beautiful soul!" "Not anymore." she said. She will not go to rehab, or a dv shelter. I told her that she cannot stay here. "I don't want to stay here." She replied, flat in a low monotone voice her back to me. Then disappeared down the road, taking my tears with her. [SIZE=2]sadleafy[/SIZE] [/QUOTE]
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It is not the fear of homelessness, it is the fear of coming home
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