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It just keeps getting worse and worse
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 9548" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>This is the problem. In my foster care group, so many parents were positive that because they did "tough love"--sometimes almost resembling a mini-Residential Treatment Center (RTC)--that the kids would shape up, like they hadn't done at home. But so many of the kids had brain disorders (mental illness) that it didn't work, and they would get huffy and want the kids out. Now I don't blame them for wanting the kids out, but they didn't understand that the kids were sick, not bad, and, frankly, the state fosters the view that the kids need toughness, not extra psychiatric care. They don't want to spend the $$$ on the kids! Almost all our kids came with identical diagnosis. of ADHD and were on stimulants. Wow! That really did a lot for our bipolar kids...lol. And the parents did NOT get the rights or acknowledgement they deserved. The prevailing view from the social workers (average ages of the ones we had maybe 26 with no kids) that the parents were the cause of the problems. Yay, RIGHT!!! Haha. When we got our child we adopted, we had a nightmarish social worker step in (she was fresh out of school/no kids) and she told us it was our fault he raged and slammed his head against the wall and she threatened to take him away from us, even though she acknowledged, "he's come so far." I never got her doublespeak. We had to fight to keep him. It was a real trip--lemme tell ya. I still don't understand why she was so determined to take him away from us. He was bonded and progressing and we loved him so much. We DID get to adopt him, although social worker wasn't happy, and he's 13 now and doing GREAT. I always want to write a letter to her and gloat about it, but I know that it's best to never contact her again. But I sure would like to tell her, "You were so clueless. This kid has autism, you idiot. That's why he raged. It wasn't us! In fact, we handled his rages well, and he doesn't rage anymore." Oh, well. It felt good to type it here, even if she'll never see it! You have all my sympathy. The system stinks, which is why we quit as soon as we formally adopted our little guy. Everyone loses in foster care.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 9548, member: 1550"] This is the problem. In my foster care group, so many parents were positive that because they did "tough love"--sometimes almost resembling a mini-Residential Treatment Center (RTC)--that the kids would shape up, like they hadn't done at home. But so many of the kids had brain disorders (mental illness) that it didn't work, and they would get huffy and want the kids out. Now I don't blame them for wanting the kids out, but they didn't understand that the kids were sick, not bad, and, frankly, the state fosters the view that the kids need toughness, not extra psychiatric care. They don't want to spend the $$$ on the kids! Almost all our kids came with identical diagnosis. of ADHD and were on stimulants. Wow! That really did a lot for our bipolar kids...lol. And the parents did NOT get the rights or acknowledgement they deserved. The prevailing view from the social workers (average ages of the ones we had maybe 26 with no kids) that the parents were the cause of the problems. Yay, RIGHT!!! Haha. When we got our child we adopted, we had a nightmarish social worker step in (she was fresh out of school/no kids) and she told us it was our fault he raged and slammed his head against the wall and she threatened to take him away from us, even though she acknowledged, "he's come so far." I never got her doublespeak. We had to fight to keep him. It was a real trip--lemme tell ya. I still don't understand why she was so determined to take him away from us. He was bonded and progressing and we loved him so much. We DID get to adopt him, although social worker wasn't happy, and he's 13 now and doing GREAT. I always want to write a letter to her and gloat about it, but I know that it's best to never contact her again. But I sure would like to tell her, "You were so clueless. This kid has autism, you idiot. That's why he raged. It wasn't us! In fact, we handled his rages well, and he doesn't rage anymore." Oh, well. It felt good to type it here, even if she'll never see it! You have all my sympathy. The system stinks, which is why we quit as soon as we formally adopted our little guy. Everyone loses in foster care. [/QUOTE]
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