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Substance Abuse
It Just Keeps Getting Worse...
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<blockquote data-quote="SeaGenieTx" data-source="post: 674533" data-attributes="member: 18773"><p>Thank you ALL for responding to my post. I come home from work and read what all of you have said and it keeps me afloat. Thank you so much. Sometimes I feel like a broken record writing and repeating the same stuff over and over but you guys are always there to respond and give me gentle advice. It means so much and helps me more than you'll ever know.</p><p></p><p>I read all of your posts, take a breather and think a while, re-read and absorb everything that you are telling me. I totally agree with you all about detaching and you are so right about how we suffer more than the addict because we worry and want to fix them. But there is nothing we can do. I know that and am telling myself that over and over.</p><p></p><p>The one thing I keep struggling with is "Never give up on family". Am I giving up on my son by detaching and just letting whatever might happen to him happen? I think of Barbara Eden. She was a single mom with an only son, Michael, and he had just become involved with a lovely girl and she thought he was getting back on the right track but then he O.D.'d. All the addicts that recover and do well, there are those who don't and end up dead.</p><p></p><p>Either way I've accepted this, I'm not in denial at all. I know my son is living dangerously and the worst can happen. But now, after trying to reach out to him and being cussed at, hung up on, and called every name at the book.... I can't do a damn thing for him nor do I want to anymore. I do spend more hours NOT focused on him but then that moment of panic hits or someone talking about their kid coming home from college or whatnot, it hits. That wipeout on the wave Leafy mentions. It's truly like surfing Leafy, you can be riding along just fine, even thinking you're conquering the crest and doing ok, then wipeout. (By the way Leafy - way to go getting out and taking a little walk - keep doing that, even if it's 10 minutes).</p><p></p><p>I dunno, I just pray that all my dead family members are angels watching over my son somehow as all I want is for him to stay alive. He can't live with me ever again, I can't have a relationship with him while he is addicted and hateful and he must fend for himself. I can't help him - I know that. I have to just get thru the moments of worry and panic then return to my life and keep moving forward and keep detaching.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="SeaGenieTx, post: 674533, member: 18773"] Thank you ALL for responding to my post. I come home from work and read what all of you have said and it keeps me afloat. Thank you so much. Sometimes I feel like a broken record writing and repeating the same stuff over and over but you guys are always there to respond and give me gentle advice. It means so much and helps me more than you'll ever know. I read all of your posts, take a breather and think a while, re-read and absorb everything that you are telling me. I totally agree with you all about detaching and you are so right about how we suffer more than the addict because we worry and want to fix them. But there is nothing we can do. I know that and am telling myself that over and over. The one thing I keep struggling with is "Never give up on family". Am I giving up on my son by detaching and just letting whatever might happen to him happen? I think of Barbara Eden. She was a single mom with an only son, Michael, and he had just become involved with a lovely girl and she thought he was getting back on the right track but then he O.D.'d. All the addicts that recover and do well, there are those who don't and end up dead. Either way I've accepted this, I'm not in denial at all. I know my son is living dangerously and the worst can happen. But now, after trying to reach out to him and being cussed at, hung up on, and called every name at the book.... I can't do a damn thing for him nor do I want to anymore. I do spend more hours NOT focused on him but then that moment of panic hits or someone talking about their kid coming home from college or whatnot, it hits. That wipeout on the wave Leafy mentions. It's truly like surfing Leafy, you can be riding along just fine, even thinking you're conquering the crest and doing ok, then wipeout. (By the way Leafy - way to go getting out and taking a little walk - keep doing that, even if it's 10 minutes). I dunno, I just pray that all my dead family members are angels watching over my son somehow as all I want is for him to stay alive. He can't live with me ever again, I can't have a relationship with him while he is addicted and hateful and he must fend for himself. I can't help him - I know that. I have to just get thru the moments of worry and panic then return to my life and keep moving forward and keep detaching. [/QUOTE]
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