I do not visit this site very often, and I've only made one post regarding the issue. So, I am sorry if I seem like a stranger.
To be brief, I do not have children. It is my brother that is the issue, and the way it affects my parents is just beyond cruel. Since getting the wonderful replies in the last thread, I have been trying so desperately to move out. I have dibs on several places if the current tenant moves out, but I have no idea when that'll be. So, for the time being, it is my mother, father, brother and I all living under the same roof. Even if I do move, that doesn't really take me completely out of the picture. I love my parents, and can not, in good conscience, leave them to suffer too.
My brother is 25, lies, steals, smokes, and is just lazy as all get out. We've been trying to reestablish trust in him by slowly giving him more and more freedom. His car was repossessed a while back, so he's had no way of leaving the house. My parents started letting him use their car to go out for a few parties here and there in the hopes that it'll help him from going stir crazy. He's taking medication from a doctor and goes to a therapist, but who knows what he tells her.
Long story short, we had another outburst today, and it was my finding. I like to keep some cash on hand, and since the last episodes of stealing, I always kept it hidden. Fearing my hiding spot wasn't good enough, I then put a good chunk of the money in a locked box disguised as a book. I went to add some money to it only to discover all my money was gone. Even the paper I put in their which I used to keep track of how much money was in there and when I added or took cash out was gone. I searched high and low desperately hoping I had just put the money somewhere else, but it just wasn't so. My brother stole from me again. I went to his little makeshift room in the basement to look for my money. He was outside smoking, so I had time to rummage around. There was just too much **** laying all over the place for me to find anything, but I did see one thing. A bottle full of poppy seeds, his drug of choice. I knew he wasn't supposed to have them.
My parents are very stressed recently due to heavy workload, but when this stuff happens....I just can't let it go. Not knowing for them makes it worse, so I told them and showed them the bottle of seeds. I'm so sick and tired of seeing my parents lose it. They just go through every possible emotion....anger of what happen, sadness because of the reality, etc. Life already beats us down. To have this **** on top is just too much.
The biggest problem is there is no way my brother can care for himself. He has no money. I mean absolutely zero. He has people on his ass wanting to get money he owes. The second he gets money, he blows it on god knows what.
As much as I just want him out of my life, I just know it isn't possible, for me and most definitely my parents. My brother is just....unstable. If we toss him out with a bag of his ****, he will have no where to go or stay. What he'll end up doing to himself is almost worse to think about than what hell we're living through now. We want our lives back, but the constant pang of wondering what happened to him will just haunt us forever if we go out like that. It just never ends.
I've never personally talked to him about it. While my parents were downstairs drilling him, I was upstairs just in tears. I went back and forth on whether or not me saying something would do any good. He usually just denies everything, and when he doesn't get what he wants, he'll just go mute and ignore everything or throw out "threats" of not going to the doctor or doing chores and the like. He doesn't know, but I listen to it all.
Every time this happens, you say it's the last straw. No more. I can't take any more. But then when cooler heads prevail and you start to think it over, you just realize that in your heart of hearts, the easiest option of throwing him out just isn't practical. We'd be doing the same thing he's been doing all along, taking the easy way out.
This is more of a rant than anything. Trying to cool myself down enough to get some sleep. He's hurt my parents, me, grandparents and even my dogs. Despite us telling him numerous times not to, he just throws his cigarette butts on the ground where the dogs can easily eat them. I'm already out hundreds because of the stealing. My parents are out thousands from various things all relating to his stupid actions. To have to pay thousands for a vet to help my ailing dog would just make me do unspeakable things.
Okay, need to stop getting worked up again. Tomorrow's another day....that I'm not really looking forward to.
To be brief, I do not have children. It is my brother that is the issue, and the way it affects my parents is just beyond cruel. Since getting the wonderful replies in the last thread, I have been trying so desperately to move out. I have dibs on several places if the current tenant moves out, but I have no idea when that'll be. So, for the time being, it is my mother, father, brother and I all living under the same roof. Even if I do move, that doesn't really take me completely out of the picture. I love my parents, and can not, in good conscience, leave them to suffer too.
My brother is 25, lies, steals, smokes, and is just lazy as all get out. We've been trying to reestablish trust in him by slowly giving him more and more freedom. His car was repossessed a while back, so he's had no way of leaving the house. My parents started letting him use their car to go out for a few parties here and there in the hopes that it'll help him from going stir crazy. He's taking medication from a doctor and goes to a therapist, but who knows what he tells her.
Long story short, we had another outburst today, and it was my finding. I like to keep some cash on hand, and since the last episodes of stealing, I always kept it hidden. Fearing my hiding spot wasn't good enough, I then put a good chunk of the money in a locked box disguised as a book. I went to add some money to it only to discover all my money was gone. Even the paper I put in their which I used to keep track of how much money was in there and when I added or took cash out was gone. I searched high and low desperately hoping I had just put the money somewhere else, but it just wasn't so. My brother stole from me again. I went to his little makeshift room in the basement to look for my money. He was outside smoking, so I had time to rummage around. There was just too much **** laying all over the place for me to find anything, but I did see one thing. A bottle full of poppy seeds, his drug of choice. I knew he wasn't supposed to have them.
My parents are very stressed recently due to heavy workload, but when this stuff happens....I just can't let it go. Not knowing for them makes it worse, so I told them and showed them the bottle of seeds. I'm so sick and tired of seeing my parents lose it. They just go through every possible emotion....anger of what happen, sadness because of the reality, etc. Life already beats us down. To have this **** on top is just too much.
The biggest problem is there is no way my brother can care for himself. He has no money. I mean absolutely zero. He has people on his ass wanting to get money he owes. The second he gets money, he blows it on god knows what.
As much as I just want him out of my life, I just know it isn't possible, for me and most definitely my parents. My brother is just....unstable. If we toss him out with a bag of his ****, he will have no where to go or stay. What he'll end up doing to himself is almost worse to think about than what hell we're living through now. We want our lives back, but the constant pang of wondering what happened to him will just haunt us forever if we go out like that. It just never ends.
I've never personally talked to him about it. While my parents were downstairs drilling him, I was upstairs just in tears. I went back and forth on whether or not me saying something would do any good. He usually just denies everything, and when he doesn't get what he wants, he'll just go mute and ignore everything or throw out "threats" of not going to the doctor or doing chores and the like. He doesn't know, but I listen to it all.
Every time this happens, you say it's the last straw. No more. I can't take any more. But then when cooler heads prevail and you start to think it over, you just realize that in your heart of hearts, the easiest option of throwing him out just isn't practical. We'd be doing the same thing he's been doing all along, taking the easy way out.
This is more of a rant than anything. Trying to cool myself down enough to get some sleep. He's hurt my parents, me, grandparents and even my dogs. Despite us telling him numerous times not to, he just throws his cigarette butts on the ground where the dogs can easily eat them. I'm already out hundreds because of the stealing. My parents are out thousands from various things all relating to his stupid actions. To have to pay thousands for a vet to help my ailing dog would just make me do unspeakable things.
Okay, need to stop getting worked up again. Tomorrow's another day....that I'm not really looking forward to.