It was a "struggle" but we made it...

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by lovemysons, Dec 24, 2011.

  1. lovemysons

    lovemysons Well-Known Member

    Last night I was thinking about my sons' days at Drug Rehab when they were teenagers.
    There were alot of very interesting examples that Rehab gave us to learn about ourselves and others, to learn about support, trust, and leaning on each other.

    Sometimes they would have us do physical learning exercises.
    One, included, showing us how it is easier to pull someone down than to lift them up (difficult child's and their fellow addict "friends"). Another example had us fall into the arms of the support group behind us...completely surrendering our own will etc. Boy, that one was a hard one for me.
    The third one I remember was when they put husband and I on 2 ropes that we stood on facing each other with only our hands on each other to "lean" on for support.

    I asked husband...just before he went to sleep last night...Did we make it? Did we make it all the way across the ropes, I can't remember. He said yes I think we were pretty good at all of the challenges. And then I remembered us...Ya, we wobbled alot on the ropes, it was certainly a struggle to let go and trust that we wouldn't "fall"...but we DID make it!

    As you all know...I have one left that is still an "active" alcoholic. He is currently in Jail.
    But...Oldest difficult child was a Meth addict and ended up in prison over stealing (for Meth) from a client of husband's.
    For awhile after Prison oldest difficult child struggled with his alcoholism. He has now been sober for nearly a year. He leans on church and his family...He is also I think a workaholic. But he has survived.

    There were so many desperate days when the boys were teenagers. So many days I did not think they or Myself would live past.
    I am just reflecting back remembering all that our family has gone through...
    Arrests, Expulsions, Courts, Judges, Drug Rehab, Wilderness program, Hospitals, Medicine, Jail, Prison, you name it. And yet, our family has survived.

    I am very thankful this morning that So Many of my family's darkest days are behind us.
    My hope is that others of you who are in the depths of despair anger/sadness and can see no future will catch a glimmer of hope and strength from my family's story.
    Now my family's story is not over...but I am now convinced that we are survivors. SO many of us here are.

    I have this strange reoccuring nightmare...It is of me actually pushing my family back behind me as I am dealing with an "evil" force. LOL, I was pushing husband behind me in the dream the other night when he heard mumbling and woke me up...He saved me while I was saving him!

    I know that many of us here feel like we are up against an "evil" force. Can't be loved away, can't be cured by us, can't run off all the negative influences, or destroy all the drugs in the world, etc.
    Sobriety is a gift we give ourselves...and then is shared by all in my opinion.

    I wish all of your difficult child's the Gift of Sobriety.
    I hope someday soon they will get sick and tired of being sick and tired...and want a better life.
    It CAN be done.

    Merry Christmas!
  2. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    That was beautiful.
  3. lovemysons

    lovemysons Well-Known Member

    Thanks Janet...You're a sweetheart!