It wasn't a pretty morning

[StressedM0mma]

But she made it to school. Her success plan yeah. Not so much. She did set her alarm. For 6:40 PM!! So, I had to be the person to get her up. Not pretty. I had to practically dress her, but we made it on time. She didn't go with easy child. She wasn't ready, so I took her. She kept telling me to just send her back to the psychiatric hospital. she didn't want to get up. So... we have IOP tonight, and it is family therapy night. Going to bring this up for sure.
We are finally getting a little cooperation with the school about modified homework. Right now we have the psychiatric hospital, us and the IOP all hounding them. husband is giving them until tomorrow and he said he is going in to see the administration. Her guidance counselor mentioned letting her stay in her advanced classes, but giving her College Prep level credit. She would only have to do 70% of the work. (She won't know she is getting CP credit instead of advanced.) Why couldn't they offer this back in Nov. So, that seems to be the best idea right now. She said she is afraid to leave her friends. So, she can stay with her friends, and not have to be overwhelmed. It seems win win to us.
Please pretzel and pray that this will work, and we can get her to school regularly. The psychiatric hospital said not to let her change schools, or do homebound, because it will let her run from her problems. So, we will push through with getting her up and to school everyday.

(I do have to admit I have been looking at residential centers for her.)--I will not let her hold our entire family hostage any more.

 

[Rabbit]

Sending hugs to u and prayers up. Rabbit

 

[DaisyFace]

Stressed--

Sounds like you did well!

FWIW - I think you SHOULD drive her. It ensures that it is NOT your easy child's problem PLUS you have evidence that she made it all the way to school (instead of "missing the bus" of some other such shenanegins).

Keep up the good work!

 

[Bunny]

It sounds like you did well with her this morning. You can only take one day at a time. Get through today and then you can deal with tomorrow when tomorros comes. I know that it's easier said than done. Definately bring this up when you take her to therapy tonight and see what comes of it.

 

[DDD]

Sorry you had a rough start today but it did end up a victory. She's there. You have a little time to fall back and regroup. Sorry it's a day to day survival program but you got the job done. Congrats. DDD

 

[StressedM0mma]

Thanks everyone. I actually told husband today that I just plan on driving difficult child that way easy child can just leave when she wants, and if difficult child is ready then fine otherwise... It just stinks that I have to make the same trip that easy child is doing. Oh well. I just keep reminding myself one day at a time. And I most definitely plan on bringing it up tonight. She is not going to be happy with- me. She already blames me for everything.
Just got home from picking difficult child up at school. She was totally overwhelmed. She texted and then went to the nurse. I went to pick her up and she got into the car sobbing. Her teachers knew where she was and on the discharge papers it stated they are to make school easier for her, and only make her do the minimum required. So what do they do? When she walks into classes they tell her she must take tests tomorrow!! Ugh! So, we talked it all out, and she calmed herself. I told her I was proud of her for talking to me. (She normally won't share anything.) And, we came up with a plan that if she becomes overwhelmed again, she just needs to text me and I will come up to school and we will go into a private room to talk and see if we can settle the problem before she comes home. husband is on th ephone with the SD right now. He is livid that they did that to her.

 

[TerryJ2]

Very good!
Don't get on her case too much about the clock thing. People like me do that all the time. (Who, me? 6:30 p.m.?)
Great that she talked to you about her anxiety about test taking.
Please talk to her and the teachers about how this is going to help her, to continue to place her throughout the yr, so that the teachers know what to teach. I've repeated that to my son so many times ...

 

[StressedM0mma]

I didn't get on her about the clock at all. Just her actually setting the alarm was a big step. She normally will say she'll do it, and then not bother. It was just difficult that I had to be the one to get her moving. She is much calmer now. She is also stressed because the day she was going home from psychiatric hospital a cousin of one of her friends was admitted. And they are a very close family. So difficult child's friend is really stressed and sad, and difficult child can't say anything because of confidentiality. (which she takes very very seriously.) All friend would say is that they are having family issues. And, difficult child wanted to be able to tell her that cousin was OK and that he would get good help in the psychiatric hospital. (Funny, she acted like it was a horrid place!) But she can't. So I told her just to tell friend that if she felt like talking she would be there to listen, and that is all she can do right now.

 

[pepperidge]

Have you thought about writing an email directly to all her teachers explaining the situation?

 

[StressedM0mma]

Pepper- My husband did just email her Math teacher yesterday, and the teacher basically said well she is going to have to get on the ball and get caught up. I think it is time to call in an advocate. They just are not listening. I mean seriously. Yesterday was her first day back from the psychiatric hospital. So frustrated.

 

[InsaneCdn]

Most people do not "get it" when it comes to depression (not just teachers). They tend to assume that the person is just being lazy, that they can just "snap out of it". And they CAN'T. If you've been around it at all, or especially if you've been through it, you know that it is a tough situation to climb out of, and it takes a lot of help.

Ugh.

 

[TerryJ2]

Does she have a 504? If so, I can't imagine any teacher saying it quite like that.

 

[StressedM0mma]

No. No 504 or IEP. I think we are heading that way. Her discharge papers even say they need to have her do the bare minimum to support her success in school.

 

[pepperidge]

Getting an IEP is a lengthy process. She should be eligible immediately for a 504 given the hospital discharge. It does confer legal protection, some people say it doesn't. An IEP might be better over the long term, but tell the school you want an emergency meeting to set up a 504.

 

[StressedM0mma]

Thanks pepperidge. We are still learning all the lingo and what she is able to qualify for.