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It's A difficult child Life
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<blockquote data-quote="lovemysons" data-source="post: 8211" data-attributes="member: 3305"><p>Dear Melissa, </p><p></p><p>Dont have much time to offer on the board today. </p><p>But your daughter was heavy on my mind as I just drove back from young difficult child's last probation appointment. </p><p></p><p>You know I lived the "fatherless" scenerio and I know the internalizing that I did as a young teen girl and how personally I took the devalued, worthless "voices" to heart. It set me up for an adulthood of being the "victim". </p><p></p><p>I am more than anothers efforts or ability to value me. I am more than anyone's lacktherin/capacity to love me. I must learn to love me, and give myself, choose people who have the ability to love me in a healthy way. And to those who don't know how to love me in a healthy way, my difficult child's most often times, I must show them how I love me regardless of their treatment. </p><p></p><p>Not sure if I'm making as much sense as I so want to...</p><p>I'll try and share my thoughts in a more concise way at a later time. It is so hard to not take personally the wreckage of someone else's behavior, be it the father I never had or the son's I wanted so desperately "to be" what I needed them to be. My very value and worthiness has been wrapped around what others became or "told me" that I was...but it was never personal, though it is my "natural" inclination to believe that it is/was. Thinking "healthy" is difficult for me and always was. </p><p>This may be very difficult for your daughter as well. </p><p></p><p>Thanks for letting me get this out of my system, just heavy thoughts going out about your daughter and her internal struggles. Can be so hard to sort through and see clearly...the fog clears more each day for me. I truly believe your daughter can get there too. </p><p></p><p>With deep caring thoughts, </p><p>more another time. Have a good day today. </p><p>love,</p><p>lovemysons</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="lovemysons, post: 8211, member: 3305"] Dear Melissa, Dont have much time to offer on the board today. But your daughter was heavy on my mind as I just drove back from young difficult child's last probation appointment. You know I lived the "fatherless" scenerio and I know the internalizing that I did as a young teen girl and how personally I took the devalued, worthless "voices" to heart. It set me up for an adulthood of being the "victim". I am more than anothers efforts or ability to value me. I am more than anyone's lacktherin/capacity to love me. I must learn to love me, and give myself, choose people who have the ability to love me in a healthy way. And to those who don't know how to love me in a healthy way, my difficult child's most often times, I must show them how I love me regardless of their treatment. Not sure if I'm making as much sense as I so want to... I'll try and share my thoughts in a more concise way at a later time. It is so hard to not take personally the wreckage of someone else's behavior, be it the father I never had or the son's I wanted so desperately "to be" what I needed them to be. My very value and worthiness has been wrapped around what others became or "told me" that I was...but it was never personal, though it is my "natural" inclination to believe that it is/was. Thinking "healthy" is difficult for me and always was. This may be very difficult for your daughter as well. Thanks for letting me get this out of my system, just heavy thoughts going out about your daughter and her internal struggles. Can be so hard to sort through and see clearly...the fog clears more each day for me. I truly believe your daughter can get there too. With deep caring thoughts, more another time. Have a good day today. love, lovemysons [/QUOTE]
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