so why do I feel so awful? I had an ultrasound today. Part of me is happy about this. Another part is scared. A boy would've been much easier. I have really wanted a girl. Why do I feel this way? I should be happy. I'm worried about difficult child 1's hypersexuality, I'm worried about his weird idea that he can control sisters more than brothers, and of all the stupid things to be worried about I'm worried that we don't have any girl clothes only boy clothes. Maybe I'll feel better after some sleep. But, I've been feeling this way since I got the news.