We moved since my last update and things were looking a bit better. However, DS basically crashed again. I ordered the Total Transformation Program (TTP), and as expected, it isn't what it's made out to be (for us anyway!). It's geared for much older kids and the examples given are not much help to me. I'm assuming someone here has tried this program, right? One of the biggest rules is that there's No Excuse for Abuse. Well that's all fine and dandy, but what do I do about it? He's insanely verbally abusive, and the physical is starting again, too. How do I "not allow" verbal abuse, without letting him escape the chore or limit placed on him (which is his goal)? An example- Tonight I was "the worst f****** b**** mother ever!" because he wasn't allowed to have ice cream. Ice cream was dependent on leaving the park without a tantrum. When I say it's time to leave after giving ample warning, a string of verbal abuse is not tantrum-free! I have been consistent with this since before TTP. How did I handle it? Stayed calm, got him ready for bed, tucked him and went outside to cry (out of frustration). While getting him ready for bed he did apologize and say he was wrong for being abusive. He also brushed and flossed his own teeth after being told to. He has no ideas about changing the behavior, and will not accept my ideas. My 2 ideas were for him to walk away for a few minutes until he's calm, or take a deep breath before talking. He doesn't like those ideas, and they are dependent on him learning self-control. I don't know how to teach him self-control, and TTP is not giving those wonderful tools either. All I can get out of TTP is not to allow the abuse, but not HOW to not allow it. This is where our cycle starts. It happens with behavior therapists, books, programs, etc. I think I need a scripted parenting program! TTP examples seem to revolve around curfew, driving, lawn mowing, and other teen things that do not apply in the slightest way. I'm off to read how everyone else has been. Thanks for any advice.