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It's been awhile...an update
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<blockquote data-quote="pigless in VA" data-source="post: 679138" data-attributes="member: 11832"><p>Hello scaredofhim. </p><p></p><p>I think you have to be honest with your husband. I think you deserve to feel safe in your own home and stepson is seriously ill. I'm curious as to if he has access to video games at your house. </p><p></p><p>I understand what your husband is thinking. This boy is derailing, and he wants to fix it. Does the boy follow any rules at your house? Does he clean up his mess in the bathroom or his own room? Does he take his medications? Does he shower? If none of those things are happening on the few week-ends he does come over, then what is husband's plan for turning this around? This is a serious problem for which husband needs a serious plan.</p><p></p><p>You are on shaky ground, though. Your husband wants to help his son, and that's a positive. Sadly, the child has lived for years doing what he pleases. If I were faced with your dilemma, I believe I would be looking for an alternative place to stay. You don't have to tell your husband "it's me or your child." Tell him that you are simply not healthy enough or trained enough to handle this boy. Tell him that you will participate in small ways - whatever that means to you.</p><p>But find a place to stay where you can escape the battle zone. It will be a battle. I hope your husband is larger, craftier and more determined than this boy.</p><p></p><p><img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/emoticons/grouphugg.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":grouphugg:" title="grouphugg :grouphugg:" data-shortname=":grouphugg:" /> I offer you a consoling group hug for support.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="pigless in VA, post: 679138, member: 11832"] Hello scaredofhim. I think you have to be honest with your husband. I think you deserve to feel safe in your own home and stepson is seriously ill. I'm curious as to if he has access to video games at your house. I understand what your husband is thinking. This boy is derailing, and he wants to fix it. Does the boy follow any rules at your house? Does he clean up his mess in the bathroom or his own room? Does he take his medications? Does he shower? If none of those things are happening on the few week-ends he does come over, then what is husband's plan for turning this around? This is a serious problem for which husband needs a serious plan. You are on shaky ground, though. Your husband wants to help his son, and that's a positive. Sadly, the child has lived for years doing what he pleases. If I were faced with your dilemma, I believe I would be looking for an alternative place to stay. You don't have to tell your husband "it's me or your child." Tell him that you are simply not healthy enough or trained enough to handle this boy. Tell him that you will participate in small ways - whatever that means to you. But find a place to stay where you can escape the battle zone. It will be a battle. I hope your husband is larger, craftier and more determined than this boy. :grouphugg: I offer you a consoling group hug for support. [/QUOTE]
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