It's been awhile...

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by Californiablonde, Aug 19, 2013.

  1. Californiablonde

    Californiablonde Well-Known Member

    It's been awhile since I have been to this site due to being on summer break and having a nasty virus on my computer at home. Normally I come here from my computer at work but I still have two weeks of summer vacation, so right now I am borrowing my boyfriend's laptop. Excuse me in advance for any typos or punctuation errors as I am not used to this keyboard yet. I just wanted to give a little update on all of us.

    difficult child finally finished summer school, thank God, but barely made it. Her teacher is a hard *ss and is very obviously not used to difficult children. difficult child had a little tantrum in front of him the first week after she found out how much work she had to do. She screamed and hollered after the teacher told her that her first week of work was incomplete and she wouldn't be getting any credit for it. She yelled at me and told me she didn't give a f*** about graduating and the teacher was so shocked that his mouth dropped open. Getting difficult child to get the work done was like pulling teeth. Summer school is independent study over here meaning that I had to push her to do the work at home and she would turn it in once a week. Getting her to do the work was next to impossible. Finally the teacher relented and accepted partial work and agreed to give her credit for the class. She was also supposed to take PE but she refused to do the required writing assignments so she failed and will have to take an extra semester in her junior year. difficult child says she's fine with that but I know come her junior year she will be complaining. Of course that's her problem and I am going to sit back and let her suffer the natural consequences. I am just very happy she managed to pass the English class.

    As for easy child he is doing well and has suddenly hit puberty full force. His feet seem to have doubled their size in the last few months, his voice has deepened quite a bit, and he is starting to get a few pimples. He stayed with me for two weeks this summer and we had a great time going to the zoo, a water park, and the county fair. I was a little sad to see him go but financially I couldn't afford to take him longer. Last Monday I had jury duty and I suddenly got a text from his dad "telling" me I need to take him back to live with me. He says that having to take him to daycare before school then pick him up after work is getting to be a hassle. I was incredibly upset. He has only had him since April, and these are things he should have thought about before insisting on taking him in. I have had to take not one but two kids to before and after school care while working full time and I managed for 8 years. When asked why his wife, who doesn't work and has kids that are already grown and out of the house, can't take him to school and pick him up after, was told that's not an option. easy child says that all summer she has done nothing but sleep in till noon and play games on the computer. So she thinks that because easy child is not her biological kid, she isn't obligated to do anything for him.

    I am in no position to take easy child right now otherwise I would have agreed. There is no on site afterschool daycare in the city we now live in, and I would have no way of transporting him to an afterschool program. And our place simply isn't big enough. I moved into a one bedroom apartment and now that my kids are teenagers it would be inappropriate for them to share a bedroom. There simply isn't enough room, and his dad has a four bedroom house. To take him back I would suddenly have to move. I told his dad that right now I can't do it, and he is incredibly p**sed off at me. He has daycare for my son at the school he attends and he has a lot more room so I don't know why he is so stressed about having my son, who is the easiest kid on this planet. It doesn't sit well with me to have easy child living in a place where he is resented so I am considering moving again by next semester to take him back in. Right now money is an issue and I don't have even close to enough to pay for a deposit on a new apartment so I will have to save money. I am just angry that his dad impulsively took him in and now says he can't handle it. Other than that easy child still loves his school and is happy where he is at.

    As for me, I start work again in two more weeks and I am terrified. The first two weeks back to work are hell. Every year it is my job to call all the parents/friends/family/relatives of the kids who never made it to school and find out what happened to them. The principals are all breathing down my neck because they need to get numbers on how many kids will end up attending for the year. Phone calls give me incredible anxiety. I have about a hundred phone calls to make every day for two weeks straight until the no shows are eventually dropped due to lack of attendance. I dread this every year. I know I will get through it like I always do but it's still two weeks of nerve wracking anxiety and I hate it. I am also nervous about starting back because I will be finding out if my supervisor got the job she applied for at another school. Part of me is hoping she got the job due to her previous behavior towards me. The other part of me hope she stays, because in my mind the new supervisor may be worse.

    My current supervisor has me call all the parents of the truant kids about once a month. That one day a month is usually hell on me, as I stated previously phone calls give me an incredible amount of anxiety. But at least it's only one day a month. Some attendance supervisors want phone calls to be made to all the absent kids every single day. I couldn't handle it if that is what my job would require. I am hoping my new supervisor, if I get one, doesn't require me to make daily phone calls. If that does happen, I will start to hate a job that I currently love. And I've had jobs I've hated before and I was miserable and full of anxiety on a daily basis. So right now I'm trying to think of the best and enjoy the rest of my vacation. Summer school is over with, thank goodness, so now difficult child and I will have nothing to do but relax and enjoy it. So that about sums up what the summer has been like for me. Just wanted to say hello to everybody and give an update.
  2. Californiablonde

    Californiablonde Well-Known Member

    I forgot to add a little weight loss update. So far this summer I have lost fourteen pounds on weight watchers. I started out 46 pounds overweight so I have 32 more pounds till I bet to my goal weight. I wanted to lose at least 20 pounds before I started back to work but I doesn't look like that's gonna happen. I'm losing on average about a pound and a half a week, which is slower than I expected, but like my boyfriend says, at least I'm losing instead of gaining. Right now I'll take what I can get.
  3. FlowerGarden

    FlowerGarden Active Member

    I don't have any advice on your situation but I wanted to say congrats to you on your weight loss. Keep up the good work!
  4. Californiablonde

    Californiablonde Well-Known Member

    Thank you. Honestly I really expected to lose more on this diet but unfortunately since I just hit my forties my metabolism has taken a big nose dive. I wanted to lose all my weight by Christmas but that's not going to happen. But the fact that I am actually making progress means I am determined and there's no way I'm giving up now. I sure do miss my twenties though when I could drop off two and three pounds a week. Right now it's taking forever!
  5. recoveringenabler

    recoveringenabler Well-Known Member Staff Member

    14 pounds is great, pat yourself on the back for a job well done, losing weight is tough at any age, so GREAT JOB!!
  6. Liahona

    Liahona Guest

    Hi! I was wondering about you. Glad things are mostly going well. How is easy child taking his dad's change of heart? Does he understand why you can't take him right now? That is great about the weight loss. Mine is going slower. I drop about 5 lbs and then stay the same for a few weeks before dropping about 5 lbs again. Keep up the good work.
  7. LittleDudesMom

    LittleDudesMom Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I hope that easy child doesn't know about his dad not wanting him there or you not being able to afford taking him back. What a blow to him that would be! Your ex is an absolute bonehead (thought mine was the tops but yours takes the cake).

    Suggestion - our school (district) has an automated system when a kid doesn't show up - someone just inserts the name. ("This is a call from your school. difficult child had an unexcused absence today. If you were not aware of this absence, please call the school at 555-1212. Please remember to notify your attendance office if your child is going to be absent. Thank you." - that's the standard call we get - it could also work for kids that don't show up at the beginning of the year for you).

    *It's a robocall system and I think it's called family link or parent link. You should go to the library with difficult child one day this week and spend some time looking it up on the computer. Perhaps its something you could suggest to your supervisor when you return to work. It's a great system because the school can use it for reminding parents about upcoming days off, pta meetings, sport events, emergencies, etc. Our school uses the attendance lady for all the robo calls because she has a wonderful voice! Everyone takes their "scripts" to her. She actually loves it!

  8. Californiablonde

    Californiablonde Well-Known Member

    easy child thankfully has no idea his dad wanted to give him back. Luckily his dad at least had enough on sense to keep his little plan to himself instead of telling easy child about it. I really do feel bad that I can't take him back because I just hate the thought of him living where he is resented and considered to be a "hassle." I did it on my own for eight years and never complained once but he has a wife to help him out and he can't take it. Rumor has it that we are all getting a raise this year, which I'm praying is true, and I so I can save a little each month to get a new place. easy child absolutely loves his new school and I would hate to see him leave it, but I don't want him Where he's not wanted either.

    As far as the automated calling system, we already have it. Problem is parents decide to change school without notifying Us and just ignore the calls because they are too lazy to give us a courtesy call to tell us they won't be attending. Sometimes they move out of state or even to Mexico and disconnect their phones and it's our job to call every single
    Person on the emergency cards to find out what happened to them. I have to call relatives, friends, neighbors, etc and try and track them down. Most of them don't speak English so I have to ask my students or my supervisor to translate. My supervisor tells me she's sick of doing my job because I don't speak Spanish. It's a horrible Place to put me in and I get anxiety about it every day.
  9. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    If fluent Spanish was a requirement of the position, then how did you get hired?
    And if it isn't a requirement... then how is it then part of your job?
  10. Californiablonde

    Californiablonde Well-Known Member

    It's not in my job description to speak Spanish but it is a requirement for her position. Bums me out because I can easily do her job and get paid more but being bilingual is a must, so of she does get a position at another school I can't go after her job. Man I would love her position. Oh and the position she applied for at the other school also requires Spanish speaking. I wanted to apply for that position so bad but to get hired you have to translate an entire IEP from English to Spanish. I have learned some Spanish on the job but nowhere near enough to translate an IEP.
  11. compassion

    compassion Member

    Can you use a computer translation program?
  12. HaoZi

    HaoZi CD Hall of Fame

    Whatever happened to if you don't register the kids, we're not expecting them to show up?
  13. Californiablonde

    Californiablonde Well-Known Member

    Haozi you are right it makes sense to assume if they don't register they won't be coming back, but that's not how the school thinks. I wish it were that simple. I am so dreading next week. My therapist tells me to quit stressing over it cause it's only two weeks of hell but I can't help it. Oh and I found out my supervisor didn't get the other job. When I was registering difficult child for school she was there helping out. So I still gotta worry about her getting upset at me every time I ask her to translate. My therapist told me she has every right to get irritated at me for having to do not only her job but mine as well. It still gives her no right to take it out on me and besides she
    Gets paid more to translate!
  14. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    Is this a school policy? or a school board policy?
    If it's just this school, I'd be raising questions up the chain... as a parent, of course. What a waste of resources!
  15. bby31288

    bby31288 Active Member

    Oh CB the drama in your life gives me anxiety. I have nothing to add. But please take care of yourself. One thing. Have you ever tried Rossetta Stone!? I hear it works great and is easy!
  16. 1905

    1905 Well-Known Member

    CB- Congratulations on your huge weight loss! That is not easy! If that lady gets mad at you, ignore her totally, don't let her see how upset it makes you having to ask her. It is absolutely her job 100% because you don't know Spanish. Those calls are hers to make from the get-go. She knows she has to make them, let her complain to someone else, but guess what? Nobody else cares. Let it roll off your back CB, you're good at your job, everyone remembers the incredible job you did with that gun wielding man last year. Her job is calling those you cannot, not your fault, everyone works hard at work, that is in everyone's job description- even hers.
  17. Kathy813

    Kathy813 Well-Known Member Staff Member

    CB, I understand what you are saying. Thanks to the federal guidelines of how graduation rates are calculated, every student that starts at a particular high school has to graduate in 4 years from that school or be counted as a dropout unless you can document what school they transferred to. So schools cannot just ignore students that don't return.

    Our attendance clerk has to track down every single student that does not show up from the previous year who has not officially notified the school where they moved to and the name of their new school. Our clerk has even made calls to Mexico trying to locate students.

    It is a mess. Luckily for us, my school has a very low transient population. I can't even imagine how schools with a high transient population can keep up with it.

  18. Californiablonde

    Californiablonde Well-Known Member

    Well it's day three of school and I am just about done with my phone calls. Thank God! My supervisor has been in a good mood lately and hasn't complained once when I've asked her to take over. That really relieves a lot of my stress. Unfortunately I have been sleeping terribly lately due to the busy schedule at work, and difficult child's ulcers have been acting up again so she isn't sleeping well either. i give props to her for making it to school these last three days, despite throwing up every morning and not sleeping good. Hopefully she continues to do well this year. As for now, I am waiting impatiently for this weekend so I can catch a llttle break. These headaches after work every day are killing me!
  19. LittleDudesMom

    LittleDudesMom Well-Known Member Staff Member

    So did difficult child's ulcers act up like this over the summer or just when school started?
  20. Californiablonde

    Californiablonde Well-Known Member

    Just when school started. Registration, actually. Just the thought of school started getting her anxiety going. She's been throwing up every single day. This morning she was in a lot of pain. Here starts another year..