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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 762772" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>Dear New Leaf</p><p>I have missed you. I am so very sorry it's hard (again.)</p><p></p><p>This line was a gut punch. Even for ME, reading it. If I breathe I am ANGRY. She is not a baby. Oh. Her babies she abandoned. And she wants to be YOUR baby? And what about YOU? To her, is your only role, function, and purpose in life to raise her babies, and her as a perpetual baby???!! NO!!!</p><p></p><p>This is on target, the point, the reason she CAN NEVER COME HOME because she does not, will not, and cannot (so far) SEE that she is her own responsibility. Wishing to be her mother's responsibility (and thereby assassinate whatever tranquility and boundaries her mother has managed against all odds to achieve), just shows me how selfish, self-centered, immature, and un-self-aware she is. We can forgive her because she is an addict. And the only way her addiction will be overcome is to create through work and struggle and immersion, a life of responsibility, self-awareness, and productivity. This is NOT achievable in her mother's lap. Oh. This just infuriates me. I seldom write ungrammatically but oh boy I am not even going to look at what I just wrote. Am I ranting? Sorry (not.)</p><p></p><p>Right! She does not see you. She does not want to see you. Please see above. All she wants is what she wants. To be an entitled baby. Of course, she feels sorry for herself. This is what needs to change.</p><p></p><p>Oh. Give me a break. How many lives does she have to break? Let her do one thing for herself. Let me see. A faith-based program for one year, with all the fixins. Say therapy, groups, recovery, volunteering, prayer, bible study, etc. Signing up for Voc Rehab and maybe a job perhaps?</p><p></p><p>If your daughter shoots up (rather than smoking)meth there is a low success rate, say 18 percent, of recovery But that is 18 out of 100. That is a lot! It's difficult but it is doable. Let her show her family that she has the want and the commitment to do something hard. But the thing is, her family has stood by her. You did for years and years until she rung you out and hung you up to dry. And how her father suffered. I am just enraged. Not to mention her siblings, AND HER CHILDREN. Oh GEEZ.</p><p> </p><p>New Leaf. You do NOT deserve this from YOURSELF most of all. Please rally round the wagons. How much do you, and your well kids have to suffer, let alone your grandchildren? All of you have suffered way, way too much.</p><p></p><p>And finally, I am running out of steam but not before I say this: She was arrested. She is stuck in a jail. If HA is like CA she gets maybe a couple of hours a week in the yard. Maybe she can hoot and holler with the other women. Maybe she can read. But all she has time to do is guilt-trip you?</p><p></p><p>I say, stop it!! You are my girl!! You are not somebody to be played with. You've suffered enough. Please turn on some music. Find a good book. Post. Go outside in your garden. Know you are loved. What she does to you is NOT love. Let her man-up so that she is able to touch and find the potential for love in her that is still there. Letting ourselves be their punching bags is not love. Caring for and loving her child, is love. Love, Copa</p><p></p><p>PS I am ALWAYS glad when you come back.</p><p></p><p>PSS. So happy YOUR DAUGHTER and the new Baby are well. Congrats <img class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" alt="🎊" title="Confetti ball :confetti_ball:" src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/6.6/png/unicode/64/1f38a.png" data-shortname=":confetti_ball:" /><img class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" alt="🍾" title="Bottle with popping cork :champagne:" src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/6.6/png/unicode/64/1f37e.png" data-shortname=":champagne:" /></p><p></p><p>PSS. I will impersonate Cagney any time.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 762772, member: 18958"] Dear New Leaf I have missed you. I am so very sorry it's hard (again.) This line was a gut punch. Even for ME, reading it. If I breathe I am ANGRY. She is not a baby. Oh. Her babies she abandoned. And she wants to be YOUR baby? And what about YOU? To her, is your only role, function, and purpose in life to raise her babies, and her as a perpetual baby???!! NO!!! This is on target, the point, the reason she CAN NEVER COME HOME because she does not, will not, and cannot (so far) SEE that she is her own responsibility. Wishing to be her mother's responsibility (and thereby assassinate whatever tranquility and boundaries her mother has managed against all odds to achieve), just shows me how selfish, self-centered, immature, and un-self-aware she is. We can forgive her because she is an addict. And the only way her addiction will be overcome is to create through work and struggle and immersion, a life of responsibility, self-awareness, and productivity. This is NOT achievable in her mother's lap. Oh. This just infuriates me. I seldom write ungrammatically but oh boy I am not even going to look at what I just wrote. Am I ranting? Sorry (not.) Right! She does not see you. She does not want to see you. Please see above. All she wants is what she wants. To be an entitled baby. Of course, she feels sorry for herself. This is what needs to change. Oh. Give me a break. How many lives does she have to break? Let her do one thing for herself. Let me see. A faith-based program for one year, with all the fixins. Say therapy, groups, recovery, volunteering, prayer, bible study, etc. Signing up for Voc Rehab and maybe a job perhaps? If your daughter shoots up (rather than smoking)meth there is a low success rate, say 18 percent, of recovery But that is 18 out of 100. That is a lot! It's difficult but it is doable. Let her show her family that she has the want and the commitment to do something hard. But the thing is, her family has stood by her. You did for years and years until she rung you out and hung you up to dry. And how her father suffered. I am just enraged. Not to mention her siblings, AND HER CHILDREN. Oh GEEZ. New Leaf. You do NOT deserve this from YOURSELF most of all. Please rally round the wagons. How much do you, and your well kids have to suffer, let alone your grandchildren? All of you have suffered way, way too much. And finally, I am running out of steam but not before I say this: She was arrested. She is stuck in a jail. If HA is like CA she gets maybe a couple of hours a week in the yard. Maybe she can hoot and holler with the other women. Maybe she can read. But all she has time to do is guilt-trip you? I say, stop it!! You are my girl!! You are not somebody to be played with. You've suffered enough. Please turn on some music. Find a good book. Post. Go outside in your garden. Know you are loved. What she does to you is NOT love. Let her man-up so that she is able to touch and find the potential for love in her that is still there. Letting ourselves be their punching bags is not love. Caring for and loving her child, is love. Love, Copa PS I am ALWAYS glad when you come back. PSS. So happy YOUR DAUGHTER and the new Baby are well. Congrats 🎊🍾 PSS. I will impersonate Cagney any time. [/QUOTE]
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