Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Its been awhile
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="New Leaf" data-source="post: 762774" data-attributes="member: 19522"><p>Dearest Copa,</p><p>How I have missed you. Thank you so much for your kind and quick reply, I am strengthened by your words. I know part of my hitting this low point again has been just that utter feeling of loss. I’ve been going through old broken photo albums and rearranging years of pictures. This journey down memory lane coupled with the latest attempt by Tornado just overwhelmed me. </p><p></p><p></p><p>This is on point. She is an adult. I have to keep my wits and think with my head, not my heart. She would keep me in this role forever if she could, and I cannot and will not do that. It is crippling for both of us. </p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>I was amazed at the help there was available for her at the faith based rehab she attended when she had the baby. She was focused on coming home then as well, but I told her to stay the course and avail herself of the help offered. This is a pattern from those revolving door years that I cannot ever repeat. </p><p></p><p>I agree wholeheartedly.</p><p></p><p>I have felt for a long time that she does not see me as a person, a mother, but an opportunity for grifting. </p><p></p><p>My granddaughter says the same. “Tutu, Mom needs to do this on her own.” The thing is, she wouldn’t be on her own, there are many resources for her if she chooses. </p><p></p><p>I’m not sure how she uses meth. It has such a hold on both of my daughters. It is going on ten years that they have used it as far as I know. </p><p></p><p>Thank you Copa, it is true that we have all suffered way too much. I am exhausted. </p><p></p><p>I am hoping that she will stick with her Bible reading and plan to go to rehab when she is released, but that is up to her. The hard part for me is changing this pattern of being her go to when she is in jail. I can see her guilt tripping and manipulation, name it, but it still seeps through my heart. I am trying to toughen up, but even after all these years it is difficult. </p><p></p><p>It is not love. This is true. I have to wake up to the reality that there can be no decent relationship with my daughter until she understands the devastation her addiction has caused our family. She apologized in her letter for being an “inconvenience”. Geez. </p><p>I have to stop reading stuff about family</p><p>“supporting an addict through recovery.” Her attempts at rehab so far have been forced through the court. I don’t know if she was sincere about getting clean. I am not giving up hope that one day she will see her potential. </p><p>But, I have to be more cautious and protective of</p><p>my heart. I have to keep my guard up and know that I am back in the fog of it. That my daughter is not capable of loving as long as she is in the grips of meth and street life. That my love can’t save her, and would be the death of me.</p><p></p><p>You are so kind Copa. I am so thankful for your insight and friendship. You and others on this site have been such a God send through all these years. 2015 is when I first posted, hubs passed in 2016. My grands came to live with me in 2019. Our family has been through so much. My survival through all of this has been the ability to come here and be with folks who understand the pain of having addicted loved ones. Though I have been absent, I have thought of you often. </p><p>Much love and hugs and thank you with all of my heart</p><p>Leaf</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="New Leaf, post: 762774, member: 19522"] Dearest Copa, How I have missed you. Thank you so much for your kind and quick reply, I am strengthened by your words. I know part of my hitting this low point again has been just that utter feeling of loss. I’ve been going through old broken photo albums and rearranging years of pictures. This journey down memory lane coupled with the latest attempt by Tornado just overwhelmed me. This is on point. She is an adult. I have to keep my wits and think with my head, not my heart. She would keep me in this role forever if she could, and I cannot and will not do that. It is crippling for both of us. I was amazed at the help there was available for her at the faith based rehab she attended when she had the baby. She was focused on coming home then as well, but I told her to stay the course and avail herself of the help offered. This is a pattern from those revolving door years that I cannot ever repeat. I agree wholeheartedly. I have felt for a long time that she does not see me as a person, a mother, but an opportunity for grifting. My granddaughter says the same. “Tutu, Mom needs to do this on her own.” The thing is, she wouldn’t be on her own, there are many resources for her if she chooses. I’m not sure how she uses meth. It has such a hold on both of my daughters. It is going on ten years that they have used it as far as I know. Thank you Copa, it is true that we have all suffered way too much. I am exhausted. I am hoping that she will stick with her Bible reading and plan to go to rehab when she is released, but that is up to her. The hard part for me is changing this pattern of being her go to when she is in jail. I can see her guilt tripping and manipulation, name it, but it still seeps through my heart. I am trying to toughen up, but even after all these years it is difficult. It is not love. This is true. I have to wake up to the reality that there can be no decent relationship with my daughter until she understands the devastation her addiction has caused our family. She apologized in her letter for being an “inconvenience”. Geez. I have to stop reading stuff about family “supporting an addict through recovery.” Her attempts at rehab so far have been forced through the court. I don’t know if she was sincere about getting clean. I am not giving up hope that one day she will see her potential. But, I have to be more cautious and protective of my heart. I have to keep my guard up and know that I am back in the fog of it. That my daughter is not capable of loving as long as she is in the grips of meth and street life. That my love can’t save her, and would be the death of me. You are so kind Copa. I am so thankful for your insight and friendship. You and others on this site have been such a God send through all these years. 2015 is when I first posted, hubs passed in 2016. My grands came to live with me in 2019. Our family has been through so much. My survival through all of this has been the ability to come here and be with folks who understand the pain of having addicted loved ones. Though I have been absent, I have thought of you often. Much love and hugs and thank you with all of my heart Leaf [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Its been awhile
Top