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<blockquote data-quote="JMom" data-source="post: 762793" data-attributes="member: 19892"><p>Good morning New Leaf,</p><p></p><p>I am so happy to see you posting. It sounds like you are really struggling with redefining boundaries since your daughter is in jail and sober-ish. I refrain from using the word sober, as we really don't know if they are using it in jail. What I do recognize, as do you, is that she still knows how to manipulate you with a promise of sobriety. You already have good, strong boundaries that do NOT need to be redefined. Her behavior has changed, but that doesn't mean your boundaries have to shift. You can do this, as you have before. On a positive note, you have protected her child. It seems that her kiddo has learned coping skills. I can see that it is hard to watch her withdraw, but it is for the best. Her daughter will need that tough exterior to handle her mom in the future (when she is grown.) </p><p></p><p>I think you are doing just fine. Don't beat yourself up. You already know what you need to do and there lies the struggle. I agree with Copa, do something for yourself and grand to relax. Self-care and detaching is almost always the answer.</p><p></p><p>hugs,</p><p>JMOM</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="JMom, post: 762793, member: 19892"] Good morning New Leaf, I am so happy to see you posting. It sounds like you are really struggling with redefining boundaries since your daughter is in jail and sober-ish. I refrain from using the word sober, as we really don't know if they are using it in jail. What I do recognize, as do you, is that she still knows how to manipulate you with a promise of sobriety. You already have good, strong boundaries that do NOT need to be redefined. Her behavior has changed, but that doesn't mean your boundaries have to shift. You can do this, as you have before. On a positive note, you have protected her child. It seems that her kiddo has learned coping skills. I can see that it is hard to watch her withdraw, but it is for the best. Her daughter will need that tough exterior to handle her mom in the future (when she is grown.) I think you are doing just fine. Don't beat yourself up. You already know what you need to do and there lies the struggle. I agree with Copa, do something for yourself and grand to relax. Self-care and detaching is almost always the answer. hugs, JMOM [/QUOTE]
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