Transparent
New Member
Hi all. I haven't posted in quite a long time. I was diagnosis'd with breast cancer in late 2009, had sx and chemo and then was diagnosis'd again, same breast in late 2010. Mastectomy this time, chemo again and 33 radiation tx's.
difficult child showed his butt at the most inopportune times for me (down with sx, down with chemo) knowing I couldn't do anything. His defiance continues and he's becoming more bold. He will get in his dad's face now and yell his demands. If there are any effective punishments out there, we've yet to find them.
Since my last postings, we've dealt with him threatening my son's life, beating my 4 year old daughter, chronic lying, defiance at school and at home and the latest is stealing. He's been sneaking into my husband's and I's bedroom and stealing our money - stealing my son's money. He'd even take from husband's quarter stash, come to husband, tell him he'd "won the quarters playing bingo at school" and ask if he'd give him dollars for the quarters.
He was reprimanded at school for not completing his homework. He was given 2 chances by his teacher to complete his work and turn it in or face Saturday detention. He ignored her requests, threw away the notes she'd written to us explaining what was going on and lied about having his work done. I got an email one morning from his teacher wanting to know why we hadn't signed his Saturday school slip - Well, because I'd never seen one! Come to find out, the Saturday he was scheduled for Saturday school was the Saturday he was supposed to go with the church to a youth function in another city. Needless to say, he was then told he couldn't go because he had a responsibility at school. He said he'd already told the youth leader he was going and HE WAS GOING NO MATTER WHAT. I was on the couch trying to recover from chemo and knew things were about to get ugly because difficult child was in my husband's face at this point. I moved off the couch and walked out the back door to the deck - in passing difficult child, I told him he would have to call his youth leader and tell him that he won't be going on the trip. I ended up having to call the youth leader myself because difficult child, of course, refused. As I was trying to tell the leader that difficult child would not be in attendance on the trip, difficult child lunged at me, grabbed my arm and was trying to wrestle the phone away from me. husband had to pull him off and I went back into the house at that point for my own safety.
As for the stealing, difficult child says he was stealing our money because he was mad at us. Punishing us because we didn't let him go on this trip and because we told him he couldn't travel to Europe to study over the summer. (???) That was never an issue and he was told as soon as he brought that packet home that we would not, under any circumstances, send him out of the country alone.
difficult child told my son that he would kill him in his sleep and "make it look like suicide" so he wouldn't get into trouble.
Our 4 year old sleeps with us and I have a deadbolt on my bedroom door. I've become a prisoner in my own home.
His psychiatric tells him "You know, these pills aren't going to stop your behavior. There is no magic pill to make you stop. You have to take responsibility". Yeah, right. He's never taken responsibility for anything he's done. All the **** he's done over the years, everything he's put us through, he's never once apologized and the only thing he's ever said he was sorry about was getting caught. And of course everyone and everything else is at fault for the things he does. Don't get me wrong, we love him very, very much - we're just exhausted.
I had to take his iPod away (again) the other day. He'd taken a trip to his gramma's back in January and was told to leave the iPod at home because his cousins are good at tearing things up. Well, he took it anyway and then "forgot" it. I'd asked for his gramma to mail it back. 4 weeks later, no iPod. I had to jump several hoops and finally found someone to go over to her house to get the iPod and mail it for me. He has it back 2 days and I catch him throwing the iPod across the room like a Nerf football. I confiscated it again and kept it until last week. husband wanted to know if I'd think about letting difficult child have it back so he could play some apps with the rest of the family. My instinct told me "don't do it, he'll bite you in the butt" - but after a few days, I let him have it. It wasn't 24 hours and he was making in-app purchases using money I'd raised to pay my cancer bills to pay for them. He was told ahead of time "No purchases" and then lied about doing it even though he knew I knew. I had to take the iPod away and his response was that even though he used my cancer money to buy the app he deserved to have it back. *sigh* He expressed his anger towards me the next night by urinating on the bathroom floor.
psychiatric still says he's "bi-polar". 2mg Haldol BID.
I still think there's a lot more to what's going on in this child's head than that. We're setting up for second opinions. He'll be 13 in November, starts Jr. High this year.
difficult child showed his butt at the most inopportune times for me (down with sx, down with chemo) knowing I couldn't do anything. His defiance continues and he's becoming more bold. He will get in his dad's face now and yell his demands. If there are any effective punishments out there, we've yet to find them.
Since my last postings, we've dealt with him threatening my son's life, beating my 4 year old daughter, chronic lying, defiance at school and at home and the latest is stealing. He's been sneaking into my husband's and I's bedroom and stealing our money - stealing my son's money. He'd even take from husband's quarter stash, come to husband, tell him he'd "won the quarters playing bingo at school" and ask if he'd give him dollars for the quarters.
He was reprimanded at school for not completing his homework. He was given 2 chances by his teacher to complete his work and turn it in or face Saturday detention. He ignored her requests, threw away the notes she'd written to us explaining what was going on and lied about having his work done. I got an email one morning from his teacher wanting to know why we hadn't signed his Saturday school slip - Well, because I'd never seen one! Come to find out, the Saturday he was scheduled for Saturday school was the Saturday he was supposed to go with the church to a youth function in another city. Needless to say, he was then told he couldn't go because he had a responsibility at school. He said he'd already told the youth leader he was going and HE WAS GOING NO MATTER WHAT. I was on the couch trying to recover from chemo and knew things were about to get ugly because difficult child was in my husband's face at this point. I moved off the couch and walked out the back door to the deck - in passing difficult child, I told him he would have to call his youth leader and tell him that he won't be going on the trip. I ended up having to call the youth leader myself because difficult child, of course, refused. As I was trying to tell the leader that difficult child would not be in attendance on the trip, difficult child lunged at me, grabbed my arm and was trying to wrestle the phone away from me. husband had to pull him off and I went back into the house at that point for my own safety.
As for the stealing, difficult child says he was stealing our money because he was mad at us. Punishing us because we didn't let him go on this trip and because we told him he couldn't travel to Europe to study over the summer. (???) That was never an issue and he was told as soon as he brought that packet home that we would not, under any circumstances, send him out of the country alone.
difficult child told my son that he would kill him in his sleep and "make it look like suicide" so he wouldn't get into trouble.
Our 4 year old sleeps with us and I have a deadbolt on my bedroom door. I've become a prisoner in my own home.
His psychiatric tells him "You know, these pills aren't going to stop your behavior. There is no magic pill to make you stop. You have to take responsibility". Yeah, right. He's never taken responsibility for anything he's done. All the **** he's done over the years, everything he's put us through, he's never once apologized and the only thing he's ever said he was sorry about was getting caught. And of course everyone and everything else is at fault for the things he does. Don't get me wrong, we love him very, very much - we're just exhausted.
I had to take his iPod away (again) the other day. He'd taken a trip to his gramma's back in January and was told to leave the iPod at home because his cousins are good at tearing things up. Well, he took it anyway and then "forgot" it. I'd asked for his gramma to mail it back. 4 weeks later, no iPod. I had to jump several hoops and finally found someone to go over to her house to get the iPod and mail it for me. He has it back 2 days and I catch him throwing the iPod across the room like a Nerf football. I confiscated it again and kept it until last week. husband wanted to know if I'd think about letting difficult child have it back so he could play some apps with the rest of the family. My instinct told me "don't do it, he'll bite you in the butt" - but after a few days, I let him have it. It wasn't 24 hours and he was making in-app purchases using money I'd raised to pay my cancer bills to pay for them. He was told ahead of time "No purchases" and then lied about doing it even though he knew I knew. I had to take the iPod away and his response was that even though he used my cancer money to buy the app he deserved to have it back. *sigh* He expressed his anger towards me the next night by urinating on the bathroom floor.
psychiatric still says he's "bi-polar". 2mg Haldol BID.
I still think there's a lot more to what's going on in this child's head than that. We're setting up for second opinions. He'll be 13 in November, starts Jr. High this year.
