It's been so long since I posted

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by ME & THE BOYS, Feb 26, 2012.

  1. ME & THE BOYS

    ME & THE BOYS New Member

    I can't recall how many year's it has been since I posted. I am now living apart from the horrible X with new problems. I will get into that later.

    My son was 7, I think when I first joined your group. I had just found out he had MILD INTELLECTUAL DISABILITY (diagnosed with). Earlier he was disagnosed with ADHD, anxiety, social skills difficulites, fine/gross motor skills difficulties, etc.

    My son is now almost 12. He is reading, writing, etc at about a grade 1 level. I can't begin to tell you how afraid I am becoming. Worrying about him going into high school, job's, etc.

    I would like to communicate with parent's of MID children on here. Are there a group of us?

    Thank you so much. I am glad I found you all again. You were all such amazing strength for me:)
  2. HaoZi

    HaoZi Guest

    MID isn't the reason I'm here, but welcome back and *hugs*
  3. buddy

    buddy New Member

    Among the many issues that is a huge part of what complicates things for us. My son is boarderline and functions lower than his IQ scores would suggest he could due to the other issues. As he gets older the gap widens and sadly he is aware enough to notice, which seems to be a big part of our issues lately. he just does not want to be like this...wants to do the same things as other kids even if the work is too hard for him. His ability to understand them, to think for himself, to say age appropriate things....all so much more obviously impaired as he has become a teen. Glad you came back, I think it does add a whole 'nother layer to the issues AND the treatment strategies.
  4. ME & THE BOYS

    ME & THE BOYS New Member

    Thank you both for your hellos and added thoughts. My son is a Special Education class and although he has an IEP, they are still teaching him at a grade four-six grade (even though he isn't getting any of it). Because the class is grade 4 to 6, I guess they aren't accommodating for the fact that he really needs to be taught at grade 1-2. I guess this is where I will now have to start self teaching from home. I told him on the weekend, the school suggested he attend another school for next year (it would be for grades 7/8). He was so upset. It took him 6 years in Special Education, to make friends with two buddies. Social skills are so hard for these kids and they want me to pull him out now, because his learning gap is widening as you suggested above "Buddy". It was bound to happen. I am thinking, if they just did their jobs and taught him to what he can learn right now, then he could stay put. Wherever he goes, he will be given an IEP, so why not plan for grade 1-2 teaching and not cause my son the anxiety they are by suggesting the move (cause they don't want to make the extra time and effort for him). I am so upset.

    I am in Ontario Canada.
  5. buddy

    buddy New Member

    I completely agree... they should be able to adjust the academics much easier than to arrange for appropriate social skill development. The social piece is no small matter, and it is the thing that in the end, in my humble opinion, makes a difference for day to day functioning in life... just walking down a street, saying hi to others, standing in lines for things, etc.... if your kiddo is learning and connecting at his age level then losing that could be a huge deal. NO kid likes to leave their friends but for our kids it can be years before they re connect. I really feel for you and am living that nightmare myself.
  6. trinityroyal

    trinityroyal Well-Known Member

    Me & the Boys, it has been a long time. Welcome back, though I'm so sorry you've had to come back.

    I can't remember what part of the province you're in -- the resources available in the school system vary so much by location. We went over hill and down dale trying to find the right fit for difficult child's education. IEP notwithstanding, none of the 15+ schools that difficult child went to really helped him with much of anything. It was only homeschooling and the Residential Treatment Center (RTC) that have ever had any success. That said, there are some regions that have excellent services and support. Moving to one of them wasn't feasible for us, but if we could have found a way to enrol difficult child in school in one of those areas we would have done so in a heartbeat.

    Sending many hugs to you,
  7. Buddy, this sounds a lot like my son. We are in that nebulous borderline category, too. We are starting to think of trusts for after we are gone, and SSI, and group homes, and alternatives to college. It is a little frightening. Quite sad. I just have to look at his accomplishments as REAL accomplishments, even though they are things "a seven year old should be able to do" etc... and all the other junk I have heard. He is 13 and doesn't understand money yet, but I'm not giving up on it. We still practice every time we go out, and I expose him to whatever I can...we listen to Radiolab, he watched a video on ( to explain a math concept), and any time I see a strength or interest, I GRAB ONTO THAT SUCKER and help him develop it. That's about all I've got in my toolbox, right now.
  8. Oh yeah, school with super services and support was the thing that kept us from utter failure. We happen to have an amazing private school that gives generous scholarship. Caregivers, support staff, and special teachers all become a part of their social network -- they are very important to our kids and they develop important relationships with them, so it is important to surround them with folks who "Get" special needs.
  9. buddy

    buddy New Member

    wow, I'd say this was a great thread to start. I can feel your response to my post in my bones... It is heart breaking. To be thinking finally in terms of not just accepting that this is a life long condition (I did that long ago) but how truly impaired this makes him. How he can still improve but the realities are that he is not ever going to be able to be without some kind of supports in both the work and living situations. I totally hear what you say about grabbing every opportunity because so few typical or common things work well.
  10. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Welcome back.