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<blockquote data-quote="Tanya M" data-source="post: 669130" data-attributes="member: 18516"><p>Welcome WTD, I'm sorry for what you are going through.</p><p></p><p>It doesn't matter if the your daughter is only charging simple things, it's theft and theft in any form is wrong.</p><p></p><p>I understand that your intentions are to help your daughter, especially since she has a daughter of her own, however enabling is never helping.</p><p></p><p>Your daughter will be 29 this week and the longer you enable her the harder it will be for her to ever gain her independence and take care of herself and her daughter.</p><p></p><p>There has to be an end point. Think another 5 or 10 years down the road. Where do you see your daughter? You see, none of us will be around forever to take care of our adult children. It's much better if they learn how to take care of themselves now.</p><p></p><p>It's not an easy journey but you are not alone. There are many here who understand. We all know what it's like to be where you are.</p><p></p><p>I suggest you seek some counseling. While this site offers much needed support and advice a one on one with a good therapist will help you to better navigate how to set boundaries with your daughter.</p><p></p><p>One thing I have learned is we cannot control our adult children and their choices. We cannot "love" them into being responsible adults.</p><p>We do however have control over how we choose to respond to them. We have to change in order for things to change with them.</p><p></p><p>I'm glad you found us here. Please keep posting and let us know how things are going. We care!!</p><p></p><p>((HUGS)) to you............</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Tanya M, post: 669130, member: 18516"] Welcome WTD, I'm sorry for what you are going through. It doesn't matter if the your daughter is only charging simple things, it's theft and theft in any form is wrong. I understand that your intentions are to help your daughter, especially since she has a daughter of her own, however enabling is never helping. Your daughter will be 29 this week and the longer you enable her the harder it will be for her to ever gain her independence and take care of herself and her daughter. There has to be an end point. Think another 5 or 10 years down the road. Where do you see your daughter? You see, none of us will be around forever to take care of our adult children. It's much better if they learn how to take care of themselves now. It's not an easy journey but you are not alone. There are many here who understand. We all know what it's like to be where you are. I suggest you seek some counseling. While this site offers much needed support and advice a one on one with a good therapist will help you to better navigate how to set boundaries with your daughter. One thing I have learned is we cannot control our adult children and their choices. We cannot "love" them into being responsible adults. We do however have control over how we choose to respond to them. We have to change in order for things to change with them. I'm glad you found us here. Please keep posting and let us know how things are going. We care!! ((HUGS)) to you............ [/QUOTE]
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