Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
It's falling apart
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 713917" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Yes, it needs to stop. She is not a child. No excuse for her to choose not to work. I have a sometimes difficult 39 year old and when he acts up i am exasperated, not sympathetic. If I were you my pity would be for her poor kids.</p><p></p><p>If this were me, i would probably offer to take grandkids but not her. Not a 36 year old woman who was just given a chance to havr housing and wouldnt follow the rules. She will get a job or learn how to live on the streets, probably by finding kindhearted people like you and your friend to couch surf for a while, people on the streets who will tell her where to eat (she should apply for food stamps or find a food pantry), homeless shelters, etc. This is the consequences of refusing to get serious help for borderline and refusing to follow the rules. This is how she learns that she cant do whatever she wants then run to you. That is bad for her. And you. No winners. You cant rescue her forever. She needs to find ways to survive without you, even though she may chose ways you dont like.</p><p></p><p>Borderlines are attracted to fast living, their idea of excitement, often drugs and abusive men who seem like bad boys and snow them with a slick tongue...at first. Then the abuse starts. You cant stop her cycle. Only she can. Rescuing her wont help this.</p><p></p><p>The only way to stand strong is to do it. Many of us are in therapy or Al Anon or both. You need to decide to detach from grown daughters horrible choices. Certainly you will still love her, but you cant fix her and you CAN hurt or kill yoursrlf from living with chronic stress. In the end even if you were to die of a stroke because of her, it will have been for naught and she will be the same.</p><p></p><p>Parents make choices just like our adult kids. I hope you choose your sanity. You can only fix YOU.</p><p></p><p>Good luck.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 713917, member: 1550"] Yes, it needs to stop. She is not a child. No excuse for her to choose not to work. I have a sometimes difficult 39 year old and when he acts up i am exasperated, not sympathetic. If I were you my pity would be for her poor kids. If this were me, i would probably offer to take grandkids but not her. Not a 36 year old woman who was just given a chance to havr housing and wouldnt follow the rules. She will get a job or learn how to live on the streets, probably by finding kindhearted people like you and your friend to couch surf for a while, people on the streets who will tell her where to eat (she should apply for food stamps or find a food pantry), homeless shelters, etc. This is the consequences of refusing to get serious help for borderline and refusing to follow the rules. This is how she learns that she cant do whatever she wants then run to you. That is bad for her. And you. No winners. You cant rescue her forever. She needs to find ways to survive without you, even though she may chose ways you dont like. Borderlines are attracted to fast living, their idea of excitement, often drugs and abusive men who seem like bad boys and snow them with a slick tongue...at first. Then the abuse starts. You cant stop her cycle. Only she can. Rescuing her wont help this. The only way to stand strong is to do it. Many of us are in therapy or Al Anon or both. You need to decide to detach from grown daughters horrible choices. Certainly you will still love her, but you cant fix her and you CAN hurt or kill yoursrlf from living with chronic stress. In the end even if you were to die of a stroke because of her, it will have been for naught and she will be the same. Parents make choices just like our adult kids. I hope you choose your sanity. You can only fix YOU. Good luck. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
It's falling apart
Top