It's freedom day

[PatriotsGirl]

And it couldn't come a moment too soon!! I honestly am beside myself over how she treats people and she doesn't see it! She told me yesterday that she feels the resentment from us because she felt the same way about us for so long. Well, it has honestly come to the point where I can't stand her. Seriously.
I tried playing Scrabble last night with the kids and she threw a temper tantrum because SHE wanted to play in the living room and it was all her brother's fault that we had to sit at the kitchen table so he could play, too. Really? I am SO sick of her blaming every one for her issues and making her brother feel like ****. And she was going on and on about how he ruins everything. I can't take it anymore!!!!
This morning she came downstairs and her brother asked her a question - I didn't even hear the question because he is so soft spoken. All I heard her scream was "Are you f*cking blind???". I don't want this girl in my house. I want to drop her off at DFCS and tell them I quit. I can't have her in this house for another year. I just can't.
I stopped taking prozac because I couldn't deal with the side effects and she just knows how to push every single button I have. I tried telling her yesterday that when she gets her GED we need to work on getting her a license so she can use my car to get to college classes. Well, she can't understand why I am not giving her my car. What?? Why in the world would I give you a car???? For some reason, her psychotic brain thinks I am giving her a buttload of money for the cleaning of the paint she did. I was only giving her ten bucks. Told her I would give her twenty if she cleaned up the rec room. She comes back with twenty bucks ain't **** I'm not doing it. Excuse me? Okay, now you get nothing. I told her I can't afford to pay her a lot because I have to do school shopping. She asks if I am taking her shopping. She is not in school!!!!!!!!! What in the world goes on in her mind???
Last Christmas, right before Christmas, she was thrown out of school and ran away. So I took her Christmas gifts, returned them and paid bills. Oh I will never hear the end of that one. She brings it up all the time. Well, she only came home on Christmas Eve because she called us strung out begging to pick her up because she had nowhere left to go. And I felt bad so I rushed out to Wal-Mart on Christmas Eve to get her a few things for Christmas morning. She deserved lumps of coal. She is lucky she got anything.
Her sense of entitlement is actually SCARY. Thanks for letting me vent. I am so angry right now. I need help. I know that. It's not right to dislike your own child so much.

 

[JJJ]

Her sense of entitlement is actually SCARY. Thanks for letting me vent. I am so angry right now. I need help. I know that. It's not right to dislike your own child so much.

It is not right that she acts like that. Your reaction is normal. it is her behavior that is wrong. If a friend or a spouse treated us the way these difficult children treat us, they would be gone from our lives, many via Restraining Orders.

(((Hugs)))

 

[DammitJanet]

I agree with JJJ. We put up with far too much because we feel like we have to because we are mothers. Bullhockey!

Your dtr has her plans and goals set. Let her be. If she runs, dont look for her. Cops wont. If she steals from you, report her just like you would a stranger. Im betting she will come around in about 9 or 10 years.

 

[PatriotsGirl]

I have made it perfectly clear that I would rather she go somewhere when that ankle monitor comes off. No, I won't go looking for her. I will be drinking a cocktail in celebration. I am so sad that it has come to this. She claims she is lashing out because of the way I have been acting towards her. I tried to tell her it is from years of putting up with how she is to everyone and I just can't take it one moment longer. She showed herself at my doctor's appointment this morning. She said right in front of the doctor "I f*cking hate you!". Doctor had no doubt in his mind I needed a prescription to help me cope and asked what her problem was. He said she needs to see a psychologist. When I told her that in the car on the way home, she says "he can s*ck my d*ck". But, she says to me, "I love you. I'm sorry." And that is supposed to make everything go away? It used to, but now it means absolutely nothing. I feel empty when it comes to her. I want her gone. Period.

 

[Jody]

I am so there with you. I drove mine to the police station yesterday for the exact same issues. She's 12. I am letting her go to foster care. I have done all that I can. I can't be around her right now, it's physically killing me. I had to go to the er, because my blood pressure was 198/107. I have been losing my sight because of fights that are causing so much stress. I am sick and tired of it all. SO sick of it all. Hang in there, this is a very had and trying thing to go thru. There are those that can totally relate to your feelings about difficult child, I am in the same place. I would really like for her to act right so that we can live together, but I can see that's not going to happen.

 

[PatriotsGirl]

They cut the monitor off and she is still here!!! Showed her butt to the PO, too. Her PO just started rolling her eyes and giving me a poor you look. Then do something about this!!! She told me to call DFCS. DFCS has been here. DFCS won't take her because she is too old. I say she can pack her bags and get the heck out. PO said the court states she has to live here. Okay, she can "live" here as long as she is never here. How's that? Does that work? And then at 18, her **** will be outside for her to come get or they go to Goodwill. Her PO said she will most likely take off and get high. I actually shrugged my shoulders and said maybe then she will get sent to rehab. So she wants to pop a drug test on her on Tuesday. She won't be expecting that because they are usually on Thursdays. Hopefully it's dirty so we can get the referral and they send her to Residential Treatment Center (RTC)....

 

[TerryJ2]

A drug test would be a great way to get her to rehab. That's the best idea I've read so far.

Jody, I am so sorry. I understand.

 

[susiestar]

Why not give her twenty or thirty bucks to "reward" her for getting the ankle bracelet off and suggest she go to a movie to "celebrate". She will no doubt go get high, and that drug test WILL show it. THEN you can push for rehab/Residential Treatment Center (RTC).

Yes, maybe it is "wrong" to give her the $$. If it will get her out of the house sooner, maybe even get her to rehab sooner, then in my book it would be a good investment! In easy child's life if nothing else.

Am I twisted for thinking of that and for finding it logical??

 

[PatriotsGirl]

We live very twisted lives with these kids! Our way of thinking would not be the same as some one who didn't have difficult children. She says easy child is always treated and spoken to differently. Hmm, I have one child that constantly tells me he loves me and worries about my well being and I have another that spits venom, tells me she hates me and wishes I was dead and constantly tells me what a bad parent I am. How can you possibly treat them the same? How could you possibly feel the same for both of them? I love her deep inside, but every day she squashes it deeper and deeper.

I gave her ten bucks for the work she did on the floor and she left last night. Supposedly to stay at her friend's house but to be quite honest, I really don't care where she is. She is not in our home making every one's life a living nightmare. easy child was so very happy today that she was not going to be there. How sad