Its just to much

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by totiredtofight, Jan 14, 2012.

  1. totiredtofight

    totiredtofight New Member

    it has been awhile since i have posted anything and once again i am lost in this fight .. husband did get to come home before christmas .. christmas was hard without difficult child 2 here.. child services is still investagting i think i havent heard anything from them .. psychiatric hospital did a neuropsychologist test however they are not giving me clear answers on a new diagnosis .. i found out today that difficult child 2 is not cooperating so her iq test score was low a 78 and that they want to take her off all medications and start over because they are not seeing the aggresion we see, however they are seeing a lot of hyperactivity and lies .. take for instance she told one of the docs there that she was so upset because she had just found out that her dad (husband ) wasnt her father but she has known that for awhile now .. she also told a nurse there that she just found out her brother had died of an OD ( hes alive and well) so now the psychiatrist is wanting to try her on Abilify but i wont know for sure for a few more days .. also they are suggesting when her stay is up in the psychiatric hospital she go to Residential Treatment Center (RTC) however she has been denied by some because of her lies and aggresion and the others here are full .. only other choice would be out of state .. in the lower 48.. i dont understand why she isnt aggresive there and where all these lies are coming from or why .. could this be bipolar disorder or something worse ??? she has also been leading groups of other girls there to bully and picking the kids they are mean to. Bio dad suddenly wants to be in the childrens lives after almost 8 years of no contact and is wanting me to send the children to him ( so he can get to know them) even though he hasnt been around and is currently almost 50,000.00 behind on child support for just one of our 3 kids .. and to top it all off difficult child 1 was just arrested and in juvi facing charges for breaking into the school with his friends and stealing when i allowed him to stay the night with said friend .. im not sure how much more of this any of us can take
  2. buddy

    buddy New Member

    Hi, I am so sorry you are having such a rough time. I dont know your story but it sure sounds overwhelming to have child services, Residential Treatment Center (RTC) and juvie all in your life right now, yuck. Add to that an absentee ex who all of a sudden wants to be wonder dad??? OH wow.

    Just letting you know I read your post and feel for you. HUGS and keep checking in....

    edit: I just read your last posts to remind my self of your story. It sounds like at least they were seeing she has a lying pattern and I was wondering, did the make husband take a lie detector test. That must be humiliating. It sounds to me now that time has passed, she really was trying to get attention or get what she wanted etc. Just very unable to predict consequences and also mixed up because of her rape at 5. Will be interesting, as you wondered, to see if she has any kind of delusions or issues due to bi-polar as well. She sounds like one really hurt little girl. I am so sorry for her and for you and husband. Hope you get more info from them soon. Sounds like the psychiatric hospital is not very communicative. You are not planning to go to the old therapist who brought up everything to soon are you?
    Last edited: Jan 14, 2012
  3. TeDo

    TeDo Guest

    For difficult child 2, it's a very good thing they are seeing SOME of her in action. The other might come soon enough. She can't hold it together for too long...although some can for longer than others.

    For difficult child 1, I am soooo sorry he has gotten into trouble. I hope this is a first offense and he was a minor player and your court system is fair. My guess is those friends are no longer on the "approved" list??

    Having biodad come back into the picture...UGH....I hope that NEVER happens for me. What does the child custody order say? Mine says he has to pay child support (though he's about as much in the hole as yours is), I have full legal and physical custody, and all visitation is at MY discretion. Needless to say, visitation has not been an issue since he lives across the country and doesn't want to. Do the child support papers say anything about visitation or custody?
  4. Bunny

    Bunny Guest

    I'm so sorry that it all seems to be crashing down at the same time.

    I can say that I think that it's a good thing that the psychiatric hospital is seeing the lying from difficult child 2. This may be the start of her showing her true colors. Sometimes these kids "honeymoon" so that the docs think that whatever the parent is saying is some sort of fabrication, but if she's starting to come out of the phase that can only help her.

    As far as difficult child 1, I'm sorry that he got arrested. I have no words of advice, but I just wanted to offer support.
  5. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    Just sending some supportive and caring thoughts your way. I'm sure, like most of us, never imagined that parenting would be so difficult and complex. The MH issues in our famly have not been so severe so I have nothing to offer of help. Your teen son? been there done that! My easy child son messed up once as a teen and I cried at night for a week when I was alone. Because it was a "one time deal" and because he was a easy child there were no formal charges and he is now nearing retirement in State law enforcement. Our grandson, on the other hand, did not follow that pattern. He chose a friend who was an awful difficult child with a cunning personality. From that friend and other circumstances it has been a rough ten years.

    I'm hoping they are able to identify your daughter's problems and offer appropriate help. Do your best to find the help you need (exercise? meditation? therapy? or some time out of the house?) so you can figure out how best to provide support and guidance to your son. Yeah, I remember wanting to be anything but supportive, lol. He is at a crucial place and the next group of choices he makes are likely going to make a path for his future. Hugs DDD