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Substance Abuse
It's me again, pondering stuff & a question
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<blockquote data-quote="Mikey" data-source="post: 33741" data-attributes="member: 3579"><p>KFld, re: <div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Quote:</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Maybe it's the difference between a kid who's using his room as a hangout drug room and a kid who now is paying his own rent, 6 months clean and his stuff is his responsibility and nobody elses. I worried for a long time that my always picking up after him taught him not to be able to do it himself, but I guess he learned it somewhere..</div></div></p><p></p><p>Maybe, maybe not. I've noticed that kids (myself included when I was my son's age) don't value or respect anything that's "theirs". Things in your own home tend to become part of the background scenery - they get trampled on and used up without a moment's thought or hesitation. </p><p></p><p>In my case, I was a slob AND a difficult child, but there wasn't much my alcoholic single-mom could do. And it wasn't until after I left for the Navy Reserve, and came back after a year, that I saw my house and my room for what it really was - a wonderful place to live that my mother worked very hard to provide.</p><p></p><p>I had to get away from it - and then come back to it - to value it enough to take care of it. From that point on until I left for good, I always took care of my room, and the rest of the house (as much as I could). And it wasn't the Navy whipping me into shape, either, because my brother had the same epiphany after moving out - then moving back in 18 months later to go back to school.</p><p></p><p>Since then, I have lots of friends with "good" kids (well, maybe not all that good, but not difficult child's either) who have the same problem. Slob kids who do nothing around the house to help, and don't seem to value anything IN the house or that their parents provide.</p><p></p><p>Overall, I think this may be a teenager/kid thing, not a difficult child thing (although being a difficult child may make it worse, including the damage done).</p><p></p><p>Mikey</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Mikey, post: 33741, member: 3579"] KFld, re: <div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Quote:</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Maybe it's the difference between a kid who's using his room as a hangout drug room and a kid who now is paying his own rent, 6 months clean and his stuff is his responsibility and nobody elses. I worried for a long time that my always picking up after him taught him not to be able to do it himself, but I guess he learned it somewhere..</div></div> Maybe, maybe not. I've noticed that kids (myself included when I was my son's age) don't value or respect anything that's "theirs". Things in your own home tend to become part of the background scenery - they get trampled on and used up without a moment's thought or hesitation. In my case, I was a slob AND a difficult child, but there wasn't much my alcoholic single-mom could do. And it wasn't until after I left for the Navy Reserve, and came back after a year, that I saw my house and my room for what it really was - a wonderful place to live that my mother worked very hard to provide. I had to get away from it - and then come back to it - to value it enough to take care of it. From that point on until I left for good, I always took care of my room, and the rest of the house (as much as I could). And it wasn't the Navy whipping me into shape, either, because my brother had the same epiphany after moving out - then moving back in 18 months later to go back to school. Since then, I have lots of friends with "good" kids (well, maybe not all that good, but not difficult child's either) who have the same problem. Slob kids who do nothing around the house to help, and don't seem to value anything IN the house or that their parents provide. Overall, I think this may be a teenager/kid thing, not a difficult child thing (although being a difficult child may make it worse, including the damage done). Mikey [/QUOTE]
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