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<blockquote data-quote="Lil" data-source="post: 699686" data-attributes="member: 17309"><p>Something else that's trite but true is, "It happens when you aren't looking."</p><p></p><p>My ex was ... terrible. He had good points. He'd give the shirt off his back to a friend. Unfortunately, he expected me to pay for that shirt, and everything else, but have no car, no friends, no life of my own outside of him and my office...while he laid around the house, drank a 12 pack a night, and cheated on me.</p><p></p><p>After my divorce, I never wanted to date again. It was 2 years before I had any type of dates and almost 4 before I met Jabber. And I fought meeting him tooth and nail. I didn't want to go out with him or anyone. I was fine and happy just living alone, working, and raising my son. A mutual friend actually had to plan the entire date and just say, "This is what you're doing Sunday night. Be ready and meet him at my house at 6, I'll babysit." After the date, I said goodnight, quite formally shook his hand, collected my kid and went home; my friend called and asked if she could give him my number - I hadn't even done that! He called the next night and we never spent another weekend apart until after we'd been married a few years!</p><p></p><p>Every decent, long-term relationship I ever had happened when I wasn't looking for a man in my life. I think that maybe the contentment you have when you're just good with how things are, maybe is something that attracts other people.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Lil, post: 699686, member: 17309"] Something else that's trite but true is, "It happens when you aren't looking." My ex was ... terrible. He had good points. He'd give the shirt off his back to a friend. Unfortunately, he expected me to pay for that shirt, and everything else, but have no car, no friends, no life of my own outside of him and my office...while he laid around the house, drank a 12 pack a night, and cheated on me. After my divorce, I never wanted to date again. It was 2 years before I had any type of dates and almost 4 before I met Jabber. And I fought meeting him tooth and nail. I didn't want to go out with him or anyone. I was fine and happy just living alone, working, and raising my son. A mutual friend actually had to plan the entire date and just say, "This is what you're doing Sunday night. Be ready and meet him at my house at 6, I'll babysit." After the date, I said goodnight, quite formally shook his hand, collected my kid and went home; my friend called and asked if she could give him my number - I hadn't even done that! He called the next night and we never spent another weekend apart until after we'd been married a few years! Every decent, long-term relationship I ever had happened when I wasn't looking for a man in my life. I think that maybe the contentment you have when you're just good with how things are, maybe is something that attracts other people. [/QUOTE]
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