I've been thinking a lot about our wounded hearts...

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by ThreeShadows, Mar 11, 2009.

  1. ThreeShadows

    ThreeShadows Quid me anxia?

    I saw a book on creating personal shrines. They can be decorated with pictures of deceased loved ones, they have little drawers and compartments in which one can place personal items relevant to the relationship. Poems that touch the heart of the artisan and have connections to her emotional ties with the lost.

    RM mentioned that she displays the pictures of her difficult child when he was little, so she can remember him before things went bad.

    I want to make a shrine for the living, my difficult children. I think it will help me come to some kind of acceptance of their life choices and MAYBE help me get out of my place of anger. In my shrine I will place their first hair cut, their baby teeth, their booties (they were so little!), Mother's Day cards created at school, a heart shaped stone engraved with the word "MIRACLE", a little heart pillow difficult child 2 made for Father's Day, the olive branch difficult child 2 smuggled through customs on his way back from Greece. I will think of more things as I create it.

    I wish we (this board) could create some type of virtual sacred space, no denomination, just love, acceptance, and spirituality.

    What would you place in your sacred space?
  2. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I think I basically do what RM does...I have a ton of pictures of my kids when they were little on my computer. They are on my screen saver and sometimes I just sit and watch it run by.
  3. eekysign

    eekysign New Member

    Another site I'm on does a thing that might help around here, too. I was thinking about that the other day. They have a stickied thread called something like "Letters Never Sent". It's a standard therapy device, but one I've never seen used so well. For those of you not familiar: all the posts are letters to "a" or "X' or sometimes, to an actual name. They all are written as if the poster was really writing to that person, expressing pain, happiness, anger, love, frustration, etc. I've found it to be not only a great release of frustration, but a wonderful way to hear of the good, bad, and sometimes tragic experiences of other posters.

    I've seen people write to their long-since-passed parents, kids, their own bodies, abusers, best friends, rapists, good therapists, stupid therapists, good dentists, bad pets.....whatever they felt the need to get off their chests. A lot of letters end up to people's kids, in various ways. It's pretty inspiring.
  4. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    That therapy device was used in a group I attended on childhood sex survivors. We wrote letters to those that had abused us. I dont know how healing it was at the moment but interestingly enough I have been able to get through the month of June better the last few years.
  5. Steely

    Steely Active Member

    Interesting post 3 shadows. I just posted something similar on general.

    For me, those pics of difficult children youth make my heart more tangled. I feel like I failed that happy go lucky little boy. I wish I could get over that.

    However, a personal shrine for my sister could be unbelievably healing. I have a shelf, actually, that has all of her little trinkets on it. It is a mish mash of socks, and rocks, and teddy bears. That is all I have of her. A chest of drawers for her, however, could be beautiful.

    Loss is so complicated, and manifests itself in so many ways.
    Last edited: Mar 11, 2009
  6. ThreeShadows

    ThreeShadows Quid me anxia?

    Ah, Steely! I just read your post on General. You, yourself, are such a precious soul.

    When we were still in Maine I found out the insurance company would not allow our tiny catholic church to burn candles for the dead. I set up an altar in our house. We have so many relatives who have passed that I have run out of room.
  7. Fran

    Fran Former desparate mom

    I love the whole premise.
    Remembering the good stuff, the funny stuff, the tender stuff is really touching.
  8. shad16_12

    shad16_12 Member

    I find scrapbooking very therapeutic...