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Substance Abuse
I've said 'No more'
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<blockquote data-quote="RN0441" data-source="post: 713544" data-attributes="member: 15032"><p>Lost:</p><p></p><p>PLEASE please pull away from your son. </p><p></p><p>This is not a healthy situation for anyone. You need to create healthy boundaries. I would not engage at ALL with my son if he were doing this to me. I barely even talk to him and he is in treatment.</p><p></p><p>Your son is not ready to change and by you running around like a chicken without a head you are helping him to NOT change. Try to remember that when we have Difficult Child (whether it be drugs or not; my sons issue is substance abuse) that you need to do almost the OPPOSITE of what you'd do for your kids that are doing the right thing. That's the simplest way to explain it.</p><p></p><p>Is it possible that you can see a therapist? That has helped me tremendously.</p><p></p><p>You are NOT abandoning him. He has to suffer the consequences of his choices. That is a must. If you do not let him suffer these consequences then that has a detrimental effect. This does not mean that you do not love him. You need him to grow up and be a productive member of society. We don't ask much from these boys. I have one that we have had to send away due to his behaviors. </p><p></p><p>You have a right to a peaceful life. Your life doens't need to be about catering to his every whim or being abused. </p><p></p><p>I'm not saying this is easy. Trust me, it's the hardest thing you ever have to do but YOU need to change how you handle him and not wait for him to change or for things to get better. That is not working. </p><p><strong></strong></p><p><strong>You</strong> are important too!!</p><p></p><p><img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/emoticons/staystrong.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":staystrong:" title="staystrong :staystrong:" data-shortname=":staystrong:" /><img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/emoticons/notalone.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":notalone:" title="notalone :notalone:" data-shortname=":notalone:" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="RN0441, post: 713544, member: 15032"] Lost: PLEASE please pull away from your son. This is not a healthy situation for anyone. You need to create healthy boundaries. I would not engage at ALL with my son if he were doing this to me. I barely even talk to him and he is in treatment. Your son is not ready to change and by you running around like a chicken without a head you are helping him to NOT change. Try to remember that when we have Difficult Child (whether it be drugs or not; my sons issue is substance abuse) that you need to do almost the OPPOSITE of what you'd do for your kids that are doing the right thing. That's the simplest way to explain it. Is it possible that you can see a therapist? That has helped me tremendously. You are NOT abandoning him. He has to suffer the consequences of his choices. That is a must. If you do not let him suffer these consequences then that has a detrimental effect. This does not mean that you do not love him. You need him to grow up and be a productive member of society. We don't ask much from these boys. I have one that we have had to send away due to his behaviors. You have a right to a peaceful life. Your life doens't need to be about catering to his every whim or being abused. I'm not saying this is easy. Trust me, it's the hardest thing you ever have to do but YOU need to change how you handle him and not wait for him to change or for things to get better. That is not working. [B] You[/B] are important too!! :staystrong::notalone: [/QUOTE]
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