J called at midnight

[Abbey]

Didn't get the call...and he didn't leave a message. I'm worried about the next call.

He's calling every possible family member to ask for money. That REALLY annoys me. Just talked to both mother in law's and sister in law and he has been calling them regularly for money. Toss in bio mom to the mix.

He hasn't talked to any of these people in a good 10 years. Now, he wants money. Well, isn't that a great time to make amends?

Just shaking my head.

Abbey

 

[susiestar]

I am sorry. This must really hurt your heart. Hopefully the family will be smart and not send $$$.

Sending ((((((((hugs))))))))

Susie

 

[KTMom91]

I'm so sorry. Sending many hugs.

 

[Star*]

Abbey,

Since you already have the solution to the call you are dreading then it should just be a short call. If Dude called and asked my for money I already know what I'd say "WHAT MONEY" (laughing) ARE YOU KIDDING?" (still laughing)

Hang in there - you know the call is coming - and you are prepared with a correct and true reply to his question.

For once - you already HAVE an answer and can prove it.
I think you should look at this impending call as a small victory for one-upping a difficult child.

Still - as his Mom it makes you worry. I know -

hugs

 

[Abbey]

I don't really care if then send money, which they have already done. What irks me most is these are good people of very modest means. They've worked hard all their life and don't have a lot to show for it. They don't have the money to show.

He needs to do the same. Buck it up. Stop begging. Get a 2nd job.

We've tried over the years to keep the extended family out of his mess, so I guess they're more inclined to help because they don't know the whole history. Well...they'll learn, most likely.

He's a master manipulator.

Abbey

 

[Suz]

Oh gosh, Abbey.

Suz

 

[donna723]

I hear ya, Abbey! The family will just have to decide on their own when they should draw the line. It make take getting burned more than once before they wise up.

My ex is exactly the same way! It took four years of loaning him money and never being repaid despite all his promises for his brothers and sisters to finally realize that they've been enabling him and that they weren't helping him by loaning him money! They were just making it easier for him to avoid taking responsibility for his own problems. When they finally cut him off, he called our daughter in S. Carolina. Against her better judgement, she and sister in law loaned him money that they really couldn't afford to lose because he swore he'd pay them back. He didn't. Then he called her AGAIN asking for more money! That finally did it and now she won't have anything to do with him. Then he called our son (who he has treated like doo-doo ever since he was a kid!) and asked him to loan him money! He had no intentions of giving his father any money. The next day ex called sons' cell phone ten times - he never answered. And that's what really got him! For years his whole relationship with his father has been two phone calls a year, on Christmas and his birthday. Then when HE wants something, he calls him ten times in one day! Everybody has their own breaking point and eventually they will reach theirs!

 

[meowbunny]

I'm sorry J is putting you and the family through this. I do understand the "real" world must be very hard for him -- he hasn't lived in it very much. Maybe he will finally get the message that he has to work to survive. Hopefully, that day will come before he decides to take a shortcut or two. Either way, you're wise to stay out of the picture. The rest of the family (including husband) will have to make their own decisions.

 

[Fran]

Same old problem solving skills working for J. Too bad he doesn't get that there are other options. Maybe difficult child's really are brain damaged and can't get that the rest of us work to solve our problems instead of waiting until the last minute then everything is an emergency. No planning skills at work.

Sorry to hear that he called and woke you.

 

[Big Bad Kitty]

So sorry. I don't know much of your history, but this has to be rough. Stay strong (oh, I know you will).

Big Bad Kitty hugs.

 

[Shari]

So sorry, Abby. Maybe you can send him $10 and a photo of yourself in one of your costumes showing what you did to earn it.

 

[Abbey]

Exactly. Sometimes you need to **** in your pride and do what needs to be done. Stop begging.

Abbey

 

[PonyGirl]

Sorry to hear this, Abbey. In my experience, it's always best to ask for money at Midnight....

Yowie.

Peace

 

[GoingNorth]

The last time my mother got a phone call from "me" at that ungodly hour it was actually from a hospital admitting officer calling her off my wallet emergency contact card to tell her I'd been admitted in critical condition and was in the OR to lose a goodly length of my innards.

My mother always said not to call her unless the fever was over 102 or there was arterial bleeding, LoL.

I shudder to think what would've happened if I'd called at that hour to ask for money.

 

[Abbey]

Haven't heard from him since. Hmmm...

Abbey

 

[chrisdog01]

My difficult child sent me a text message last night (or this morning) at 1:35am asking for gas money because he has a lead on a job (yeah, right). My purse was next to my side of the bed just in case he decides to take my keys or money, so when my phone went off it scared the sh*# out of me (I have it programmed to a song so it was really loud). The worst part - he was in the house when we sent the text message! I wanted to get up and wring his neck, but then I would have been fully awake and unable to sleep and I had to go to work this morning.

So, maybe they think that if they call us at some ungodly hour we'll give in? Who knows.