J update

[Abbey]

Don't visit here too often anymore but had some interesting J updates. J is in CA. He calls H a week ago and says he's homeless, no food, no where to go. He claims he's clean and sober and basically begs for a place to live.

H, in his ultimate wisdom, offers him a place to stay in WI *if* he is clean. J said yes. I happen to call H right after this and he told me what was going to happen. I paused and said, "I hope it works well for you. Just remember...fool me once, fool me twice, no wait...fool me 100 times..." You know the rest.

Just called H to wish him a happy birthday. He was LIVID. J is in Chicago taking the bus up to H's house. He tells H that he is still using heroine and is going to go cold turkey when he gets there. Expect me to be sick and need help for a few weeks.

I never heard such cussing from H in my life. I finally just hung up on him. WHY DOESN'T HE LEARN??? I can guarantee you that if I was there I would not have approved the move. I guess another good reason I am NOT there to witness this.

Shaking head...

Abbey

 

[witzend]

Did you get you J's and H's mixed up there? J is in Chicago, right?

I hope that H and J will be very happy together - for so long as it lasts... Are the easy child's going to be there as well? I'm sorry that he is putting everyone through this again. I'd want to kick H in the pants.

 

[Abbey]

J is on a layover going from CA to H's house in WI. He waited until he was that far in his trip to tell H. Needless to say, H is NOT happy.

(I did mix up a J and H.) My bad.

 

[Suz]

Better him (H) than you, Abbey! You would have known better. sheesh.

What happened to the gal J was living with? They were together for quite awhile.

Suz

 

[Abbey]

The 'story' is that she took all his stuff and dumped him, hence him being on the streets. I don't believe it. They're both junkies and this is how junkies live. I guess that is the one stipulation H made - NO girlfriend will step in this house.

 

[Star*]

One can not fix anyone else until they fix themself. I swear YOU would have had to duct tape my mouth and make me sit on my hands in the CLOSET if that was my H. No......wait///that's right I have no more thoughts or conscious cares or concerns about my x than I do a bag blowing across the parking lot. Nor any of his family.

Wow I loved thearpy. Sing it with me.....Oh THERAPY Oh THERAPY how lovely are thy outcomes......(to the tune of Oh Christmas Tree)

Yeah I'm not a (what did he call me that I can post here???? cold, snotty, uncaring, backstabbing, manipulative witch.......

I just don't heat up, give a rats hiney, will now poke you from the front with my broom stick and do it while I'm staring you down -----right in the eyes - and THAT's if I care. You should Sooooo get there Abs. That way this bullooooooooney with J and H wouldn't matter to you any more than that bag-------blowing across the parking lot------

But good on ya for hanging up.

Hugs
Starbie

 

[busywend]

Phew/whew! Thank goodness you do not have to deal with it. I hope all your belongs are out of there. Everything will be fair game for selling soon (in J's mind anyway)!

 

[Abbey]

I talked to J the other night. He sounds pretty rough. It was a nice chat, though. H was working so he could talk openly. Oddly enough, his girlfriend has a son just 5 years younger than J. J is disgusted with him and calls him a lazy SOB who sleeps til noon, won't get a job, let alone take the trash out. I just paused and said, "Ain't parenting fun?"

He was smart enough to make the connection to himself and profusely aplogized for all has put our family through. I just said water under the bridge. Focus on YOURSELF and getting your life on track. Make use of the opportunity provided to you.

He talked about going out and getting a job ASAP, even though he's vomiting every few minutes from detox. I told him to FOCUS ON YOURSELF first. If you dive in headfirst right now you'll get frustrated and the temptation to use again will come back. Now, if I can get H to recognize that, there might be a glimmer of hope. H has a tendency to push, push, push when what you need is some space to recover. I guess time will tell.

Abbey

 

[hearts and roses]

Focus on YOURSELF and getting your life on track. Make use of the opportunity provided to you. He talked about going out and getting a job ASAP, even though he's vomiting every few minutes from detox. I told him to FOCUS ON YOURSELF first. If you dive in headfirst right now you'll get frustrated and the temptation to use again will come back. Now, if I can get H to recognize that, there might be a glimmer of hope.
Abbey

Abbey, will J be entering any type of program to help him stay clean, such as NA, or something else? Or will be be trying this on his own? It would be good to encourage him to find a strong support, other than H, who if he's anything like my H think that hard work can fix anything. Sending a hopeful prayer for J. I'm very glad that you are not there!

 

[Abbey]

I haven't asked about how he's going to do this. To the best of my knowledge, he's just going cold turkey. H and I are not exactly on great speaking terms so I'm not inquiring.