Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by witzend, Sep 17, 2008.

  1. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    So, how is everyone settling, Janet? Has Tony made any move on contacting Cory's PO about the gun? How are you feeling? I hope that you are feeling better now that everything doesn't seem so urgent.
  2. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Ditto to what Witz said. And how are you feeling physically? Are you doing any better that way?

  3. PonyGirl

    PonyGirl Warrior Parent

    Joining in, hoping you are doing better Janet!

  4. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    All is quiet on the eastern front! (To butcher a book title...lol)

    Tony contacted the PO on Monday...he swore he would get back to us by today...he hasnt so if Tony hasnt heard from him by 3:30-4 this afternoon he is gonna give him another call. PO even said he "might" come by the house one night this week but that never happened. I am so far from not surprised.

    I will be perfectly honest and say I wont be surprised if nothing happens. It may just be that they find a way for Tony to go get the gun and do nothing to Cory because it is just easier for them. They are all about the easy here.

    It is quiet I can say that. Amazing how removing one person can make a house so much calmer. It really shows just how much upheaval he brought into this house. You can almost hear a pin drop unless the dog barks.
  5. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    I'm turning into a cantankerous old soul but the "naughty" part of my persona hopes that all the "Law & Order" advocates follow your thread.
    Somehow "the system" changed radically over the years. (Yes, I still support locking up the dangerous criminals.) One of the problems is that
    youthful offenders don't learn many, if any, positive lessons when there is no uniformity of action. Actually it is now more like poor parenting that
    the offenders get exposed to...no matter how fleeting. You have the
    "let it go" parent who sometimes is hooked up with the "let's beat the x out of 'em" parent...except these AREN'T parents...this is THE system at

    How I wish it were the way I used to think it was. It could have helped
    Cory, easy child/difficult child etc. etc. Sadly, the offenders "know" how it is and I keep
    my mouth shut (believe it or not..lol) as much as possible to pretend that
    the system is worthwhile. Not. DDD
  6. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Oh I know DDD...I was the mom who called the cops, dragged her kid before the judges, begged them to lock him up to "teach him a lesson about respect for the law" and all that good nonsense. All it did was teach him that the cops really didnt mean what they said. You could get arrested and convicted but never in real trouble. A sentence? What was that? Probation was a joke. Even house arrest wasnt a huge success because the idiots would come out here and TELL him that the system was going to be down! Now wasnt that smart of them? Granted he didnt go far but he went to a neighbors house to visit his cousin that night. Before they came out he had no clue the system wasnt working.

    They seem to be all bluster. But then we shall see. I keep waiting for the bite. Then he will be so surprised because it will be for something probably stupid like riding his bike on the wrong side of the road.
  7. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    I'm glad you are enjoying the peace and quiet, Janet. It's wonderful when you get used to no one fighting in the house. I found that it strengthens the back bone, too. "You want to come home? Sorry, it was so quiet and peaceful that we turned your room into a yoga studio..."
  8. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Peace and quiet is just what you need. :)

    I'm also more than a bit jaded with the system nowdays. Well, actually more than a bit jaded. lol And it always seems the issues with the system are magnified in small rural areas, when you'd think the opposite would be true.

    Shame cuz so many difficult children would learn earlier and straighten out faster if Police/judges would stop giving them a slap on the wrist and make the punishment fit the crimes.

    I know around here it's ridiculous.

  9. Star*

    Star* call 911........call 911

  10. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    Amen, Janet!
  11. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Ok I am livid. I did something really bad...something I shouldnt have done but I did. I am not sorry I did it. I felt guilty while doing it but now I dont. It has strengthened my backbone again because I was almost feeling a bit sorry for the boy because of a few things. Things like we had already told him we wouldnt put minutes on our phone so dont bother calling...and things like dont bother putting us (mom and dad) on the visitors list because we arent coming down...and I dont know if Mandy is gonna go visit him this week so I doubt he will get any visitors this week. So I was feeling a bit sorry for him.

    Well now Im not.

    Wanna know why Im not? He has been in there over a week now and I just went to the mailbox. There was a letter in there addressed to "My baby" from "Your Man". Gag me. He hasnt written one word to us. I sat around with the letter for a few hours because I was pretty well ticked off at both Cory and Mandy anyway because he hadnt written to us ...only her...and she is constantly going into my mailbox and getting my mail and then I never get it. So I sat there and debated whether or not I should be devious enough to open it. I know I know...bad Janet. Finally I just couldnt stand it anymore and I gave in to my evil side and I opened the letter.

    Page after page of Oh baby I miss you, I love you, I cant stand being in here, I will never get put in here again...they wont make me come back in here for more time...blah blah blah. Talk about the fair, her birthday, the canteen...all sorts of junk. Then came the kicker. A paragraph where he asks if she had TOLD Daddy NOT to talk to the PO about the gun. Something about how Cory would somehow manage to figure out how to get his father another gun if he couldnt get his other one back but just dont go to the PO because "Daddy shouldnt want to get Cory in trouble...Man". Then another paragraph where he asks if she has asked if we were going to put minutes on the phone so he could call and talk to her. Said he had tried to call Billy but that fat-blank B kept hanging up on him so he was gonna cuss his Fat B out when he got home.

    Ok...now Cory knows Billy also has a cell phone and unless you put money on the account...you cant accept the collect calls! So the calling is useless.

    Not one mention in the letters about..."How is mom? Is she doing ok? How is she feeling?" Not one mention of how he shouldnt have done what he did to even get there!

    Just concern that HE not get into more trouble! Ok...why am I so not surprised. I am just done with him. PO never got back in touch with us today and we attempted to call him this afternoon. We will call tomorrow morning. I am going to tell him that my recommendation is that they revoke him. And I think he should pull the FULL 14 months. I think the PO thinks I am one of those mothers who are protecting their baby boys to the extent that I would do anything to do so. Not...he doesnt realize I am the one who had him arrested!

    Cory has so burned his bridges with me.
  12. everywoman

    everywoman Active Member

    I don't blame you one bit. That boy has had his fair chance of chances....He needs to learn if he steals, even from family, that he will be sitting in jail a lot longer than 14 months. I know the feeling sorry for him part...been there done that...then I burned the t-shirt. He needs to learn that in his life the only people who will ever love him unconditionally are his parents....but even they don't have to like him all the time. Hugs.....
  13. flutterbee

    flutterbee Guest

    Wow. He's got a set, doesn't he?

    Keep that letter and read it anytime you feel your resolve slipping. Just let Mandy think it never arrived.
  14. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    I would photocopy the letter and highlight the part about "Tell Daddy not to report me" and send it to the PO and ask him to tack on Tampering With a Witness charges.

    Then I'd hand the original to Miss Mandy along with a "get out by" date.

    What's he mean he's never going in again? Why is it that I don't think he means "I'm getting a job and two if I have to so I can keep out of trouble and take care of my own and not have time to get high." I'm sure he thinks he's just too much of a criminal mastermind to get caught again. :mad: I hope that he will feel differently in a few weeks.
  15. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Wow. Cory has a major case of the "they can't touch me"s doesn't he? All this letting it slide and slapping on the wrist stuff has gone right to his head. :faint:

    Yep. I'd keep photo copy on hand for those weak moments. Lordy.

    And since I'm mean as sin.......I'd probably look into the "tampering with a witness" thing too.

    Just shaking my head with my mouth hanging open.

  16. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    Wow...I'm speechless. He really thinks he'll be the exception to the rule, doesn't he?

    Take care of you. Enjoy the peaceful quiet.
  17. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    I am SOOOOO with the highlighted photocopy to the PO and tampering with witness charge. Say you opened it by mistake, then found that! The boy has a set the size of watermelons, doesn't he?

    Does he really, honestly think he is coming back to your house after his 30 days? Have you told him he is not coming back to your house? Does Mandy have a get out by date? If not, you need to make these things crystal clear. He will continue to do the criminal things and get high in your home and yell at you about it until he is no longer allowed to be in your home.

    I am sorry if tony feels sorry for Mandy, but she needs to go. She has family of her own, and friends, and will find a place. You need to have your home to yourself, NOT be sharing it with Mandy.

    Anyway, I will support whatever you do.

    Maybe a letter to the editor about how they ignore the felon with gun thing? Just my evil side talking.

    Many hugs, and I MEAN what I say about supporting ANY action or inaction you take.