There is this man I work with, we are SLIGHTLY friendly. He is gay, no sexual tension. He took my keys, and moved my car as a joke (2 days ago). A co-worker told me that he had done this and I should act surprised when I went to look for my car that day. Well I couldn't find it anywhere, not funny- I wanted to go home. So another co-worker called this jerk to find out where he put it,and here would have been his chance to say, hey ha-ha, it's a joke. But , he said to my co-worker that I take alot of medication and must just be confused, keep looking. Well I do not take medication, but the 10 people who were looking for my car heard this comment. I did feeling bullied. I told my boss just now, 2 days later. I'm not this type of person. Did I do the right thing? by the way my bra, and underwear were on the front seat, for the gym.
Jerk at work- Did I do the right thing?
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trinityroyal
Well-Known Member
Alyssa, I hate hate HATE practical jokes. Don't understand the humour, don't like them at all. But even if you do like practical jokes, this fellow took things WAY too far when he made comments about you in front of other people.
And suppose for a moment that you did take a lot of medication and were easily confused. Someone moving your car like that could cause serious disruption to your routine, and cause you tremendous problems.
I think talking to your boss about it a few days later, once you had a chance to cool off, was a good thing. Do you feel comfortable talking to the person directly? If he's reasonable, then telling him that you don't like that sort of humour should make him back off. If you tell him, and he escalates, then you have a case to make a formal complaint of some sort that he is bullying you.
Years ago I had a co-worker who used to call me highly inappropriate names in the office (both sexual and racial), in front of other people. I told him very clearly, in front of other people, not to call me anything of the sort again. When he continued, another co-worker reported him to HR. Because I had made my wishes clear, HR was able to make a definite case against him for workplace harrassment.
Trinity
And suppose for a moment that you did take a lot of medication and were easily confused. Someone moving your car like that could cause serious disruption to your routine, and cause you tremendous problems.
I think talking to your boss about it a few days later, once you had a chance to cool off, was a good thing. Do you feel comfortable talking to the person directly? If he's reasonable, then telling him that you don't like that sort of humour should make him back off. If you tell him, and he escalates, then you have a case to make a formal complaint of some sort that he is bullying you.
Years ago I had a co-worker who used to call me highly inappropriate names in the office (both sexual and racial), in front of other people. I told him very clearly, in front of other people, not to call me anything of the sort again. When he continued, another co-worker reported him to HR. Because I had made my wishes clear, HR was able to make a definite case against him for workplace harrassment.
Trinity
donna723
Well-Known Member
I never 'got' practical jokes either but this goes waaaay beyond a mere little 'joke'!
Besides the comments he made about you to co-workers (which was inexcusible), how did he get your car keys? Did he go through your purse to find your keys? Very serious invasion of your personal property there! And then getting in your car and actually moving it to where you couldn't find it! He's very lucky you didn't call the police when you couldn't find your car ... he would have had a lot of explaining to do and he probably woudn't find that to be all that funny!
I don't see how you restrained yourself! If anyone had the audacity to mess with my purse or my car keys ... much less my car, they would find themselves in the hospital having my size 9 shoe surgically removed from their hiney!
Besides the comments he made about you to co-workers (which was inexcusible), how did he get your car keys? Did he go through your purse to find your keys? Very serious invasion of your personal property there! And then getting in your car and actually moving it to where you couldn't find it! He's very lucky you didn't call the police when you couldn't find your car ... he would have had a lot of explaining to do and he probably woudn't find that to be all that funny!
I don't see how you restrained yourself! If anyone had the audacity to mess with my purse or my car keys ... much less my car, they would find themselves in the hospital having my size 9 shoe surgically removed from their hiney!
A co-worker told you that this guy took your car and told you how you were supposed to act when you found out?!?!?
It sounds to me like there is an unhealthy environment in that office. I have never worked anywhere where co-workers stole one another's vehicles as a "joke".
--DaisyF
It sounds to me like there is an unhealthy environment in that office. I have never worked anywhere where co-workers stole one another's vehicles as a "joke".
--DaisyF
lovemysons
Well-Known Member
WOW, that would TOTALLY freak me out. How very strange. I can't believe someone you are only slightly friendly with would have the nerve to take your keys, move your car and then suggest you take alot of medication and must be confused. What a weirdo!!!
I'd be kinda nervous around this individual from now on for sure. you ABSOLUTELY did the right thing by talking to your boss about this incident...I'd even consider calling the police and talking to them about this too...very strange behavior.
Stay safe and let us know what boss says, what's happening next with this...would definitely have me concerned.
Tammy
I'd be kinda nervous around this individual from now on for sure. you ABSOLUTELY did the right thing by talking to your boss about this incident...I'd even consider calling the police and talking to them about this too...very strange behavior.
Stay safe and let us know what boss says, what's happening next with this...would definitely have me concerned.
Tammy
I know, thank you! I have no idea how he got my keys!!! He musy have went through my purse. We both teach, I told the Assistant Principal. Jerk is very creepy, and still has not said he was sorry. My boss said he would have a talk with him, reminding him of the trouble he could cause the school and district. Thank you for making me feel like I did the right thing. Others here are saying that I should keep my mouth shut, as we work together. Grown people do not behave in this manner. Yuck.
DammitJanet
Well-Known Member
This is bizarre! It would have really freaked me out. Not only having my car moved to someplace I couldnt find it but thinking someone had been through my purse to get my keys! Wow...what nerve. I cant even imagine.
trinityroyal
Well-Known Member
Well, those "other people" are not the ones whose purse was rifled and whose car was moved. I think keeping quiet about it is entirely the wrong approach. It lets the jerk off the hook, and possibly encourages him to try a similar thing again or to escalate to bigger escapades. Either way, it's not a healthy work environment.
You definitely did the right thing, and I'm glad that the Assistant Principal is taking the matter seriously.
Trinity
lovemysons
Well-Known Member
Unbelievable...so you're saying that fellow teachers you work with are telling you that you should have kept your mouth shut about this incident? Why? Are they afraid of him?
Seriously I would consider running this incident past police and see what they say...I wouldn't feel safe around this individual at all.
So sorry you don't have more support from the people you work with...what is up with that? And...does the fact that he's gay have anything to do with why people are suggesting you should have kept your mouth shut.
Man, this whole situation really concerns me for you.
Tammy
Seriously I would consider running this incident past police and see what they say...I wouldn't feel safe around this individual at all.
So sorry you don't have more support from the people you work with...what is up with that? And...does the fact that he's gay have anything to do with why people are suggesting you should have kept your mouth shut.
Man, this whole situation really concerns me for you.
Tammy
This is scary. If this man got your keys and moved your car, is anything missing from your purse or car? There is no way of knowing if he copied any of your keys. Maybe if you have one of the keys with a microchip in it he would have a tough time copying that one. But he could copy any keys to the school, your classroom, even keys to your HOME.
As this many gives you a "creepy" feeling I would make a statement to the police. I would want them to talk to him in addition to having the school talk to him.
Bottom line here is that it was car theft at worst, joyriding at best. It also was a possible action leading up to a home invasion or robbery, theft of other things, and IDENTITY THEFT. He could EASILY have gotten any credit/debit card numbers, including the 3 check digits printed on the back of the card in the signature area.
It is going to be terribly easy for him to steal your identity based on this.
What would possibly possess a grown man to do this as a "joke" to a coworker he is "slightly friendly" with?? Especially when he would not give the location of the car right away and made comments about you taking medication that would leave you confused (possible grounds for professional trouble if anyone took him seriously).
How do you know he didn't take your car out to go rob a liquor store or something?? You don't, and you CAN'T know.
This is CLEAR harrassment, NOT a joke. The coworkers who want you to back down when you feel so violated are BULLYING YOU (and isn't there a push in schools on anti bullying campaigns? How can the kids be expected not to bully if the teachers won't stop?).
I know in our district he wouldn't have a job after stealing a coworker's keys out of her purse, much less her car!
MAke sure the Asst Principal follows up, something is put in his file, AND you check your credit report closely as well. If it was me I would run a background check on him. For a fee there are many reputable companies that will do this.
I am sorry he violated you. The coworkers who tell you not to report it remind me of the people who encourage rape victims not to press charges. You can probably still file a police report if you choose to do so.
I bet the police wouldn't think it was funny.
As this many gives you a "creepy" feeling I would make a statement to the police. I would want them to talk to him in addition to having the school talk to him.
Bottom line here is that it was car theft at worst, joyriding at best. It also was a possible action leading up to a home invasion or robbery, theft of other things, and IDENTITY THEFT. He could EASILY have gotten any credit/debit card numbers, including the 3 check digits printed on the back of the card in the signature area.
It is going to be terribly easy for him to steal your identity based on this.
What would possibly possess a grown man to do this as a "joke" to a coworker he is "slightly friendly" with?? Especially when he would not give the location of the car right away and made comments about you taking medication that would leave you confused (possible grounds for professional trouble if anyone took him seriously).
How do you know he didn't take your car out to go rob a liquor store or something?? You don't, and you CAN'T know.
This is CLEAR harrassment, NOT a joke. The coworkers who want you to back down when you feel so violated are BULLYING YOU (and isn't there a push in schools on anti bullying campaigns? How can the kids be expected not to bully if the teachers won't stop?).
I know in our district he wouldn't have a job after stealing a coworker's keys out of her purse, much less her car!
MAke sure the Asst Principal follows up, something is put in his file, AND you check your credit report closely as well. If it was me I would run a background check on him. For a fee there are many reputable companies that will do this.
I am sorry he violated you. The coworkers who tell you not to report it remind me of the people who encourage rape victims not to press charges. You can probably still file a police report if you choose to do so.
I bet the police wouldn't think it was funny.
muttmeister
Well-Known Member
Just reading this and not knowing him it's hard to tell if he's (1) really creepy or (2) just plain stupid (I think I'd vote for #1) but in either case, reporting him to the boss was a good thing. Going through somebody's purse and stealing their car is not a practical joke; it is a crime. I think I'd tell him that if he ever touched my car again I'd run over him. Then I'd back up and do it again to be sure I didn't miss something the first time. Then tell him, Oh, it was only a joke.
What an idiot!
What an idiot!
Shari
IsItFridayYet?
Its one thing for close friends to do something like this...this doesn't sound like close friends.
Its another thing for 20-ish people to do this....you aren't 20-ish.
I don't know if he's stupid, or truly that out of touch with reality, but someone needs to tell him this was NOT ok. I think you did the right thing.
And Star....OMG....
Its another thing for 20-ish people to do this....you aren't 20-ish.
I don't know if he's stupid, or truly that out of touch with reality, but someone needs to tell him this was NOT ok. I think you did the right thing.
And Star....OMG....
Star-Priceless!!! Hysterical!
Now I can't get any revenge because he did get in trouble! LOL, Then he came into my room saying he cannot believe I was offended, and his jaw was on the floor (please) that he had gotten called in the office, etc....blah, blah.. He was mad I called him on it. I asked him why he didn't say sorry at all, until he got in "trouble", and why when he was called on his phone he didn't come clean- (then maybe I would have forgiven him),
he gave me some bs, I didn't forgive him and walked away. I cannot STAND people like that. Most of the people at work, were glad I told on him. Too many people don't stand up to this creep. I know who my friends are- you guys!
Now I can't get any revenge because he did get in trouble! LOL, Then he came into my room saying he cannot believe I was offended, and his jaw was on the floor (please) that he had gotten called in the office, etc....blah, blah.. He was mad I called him on it. I asked him why he didn't say sorry at all, until he got in "trouble", and why when he was called on his phone he didn't come clean- (then maybe I would have forgiven him),
he gave me some bs, I didn't forgive him and walked away. I cannot STAND people like that. Most of the people at work, were glad I told on him. Too many people don't stand up to this creep. I know who my friends are- you guys!
gcvmom
Here we go again!
Shari said the same thing I thought of. That's a stunt I would have pulled on a very close co-worker/exBF about 20 years ago. I'd have to know the person VERY well to have the cajones to attempt something like that. Sounds like his intent was a little more malicious, based on his snide remarks. You did the right thing to call him on it. He was way out of line, and now maybe he'll think twice before he decides to pull a prank on someone again.
