Jess is showing the PTSD

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by susiestar, Jan 11, 2008.

  1. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    and I think we can FINALLY get treatment to help her. For a long time after her bro moved out she put on the "I'm fine" mask. It even carried over into physical problems. I am very sure some of the health problems are from burying issues.

    My mom has taken her to the last doctor's appts. I just was hurting too much to move. (The day of the 1st one a box fell on my head - cat playing on closet shelf!-allis OK on Xrays, per spine doctor!). At the second doctor appointment, Jess saw the PA. Jess put on a big routine about how her brother hit her all the time and she was so abused. My mom was totally shocked, and the PA seemed about to call Child Services. Jess was very believable, apparently.

    I truly think this is a way to show us she is ready for the help she needs. She would never really cooperate with a therapist about the abuse issues. She brushed it off and buried it. We finally had to face the fact that until she would accept help, it wouldn't do much good.

    She does not know it, but we are seeing a therapist on Monday after we see the doctor. I found one with the university, also have her on the wait list for 2 others, but my experience with them is that they really don't want to deal with our problems. I have been on these lists before and been told they wouldn't see us because the problems were too involved. But insurance won't cover anyone else until we try these others. The university is affordable, my mom is paying, and we can start NOW.

    I don't want medications, she has enough problems and the seizures are fairly stable.

    Until we have worked things out she will NOT be left alone with her older bro or my dad. The way she lied makes my mom think she might make something up about them. It would devastate difficult child, he has worked so HARD to learn to be a good, protective big bro. And my dad is such a good guy.

    I do have a bit of a doubt about my mom's perception of J's story. My mom has ALWAYS had much higher standards for Jess than for the other kids. And her expectations can be very very unrealistic, as many of them were for me. She also is running herself ragged and tends to exaggerate any/every thing Jess does that she doesn't like.

    My mom is not this way with the boys, and talking to her about this would bring on world war 3. She totally refuses to see this. But she refused to see a LOT, so I think we will just let her pay for therapy, accept that she won't be alone with Jess for quite a while, and take advantage of this to help Jess wiht the PTSD.

    (by the way, my mom strongly feels that Jess has no reason to have PTSD, or any problems caused by difficult child because difficult child is fine now. The fact that PTSD works differently and means that it may pop up years later just doesn't compute. My mom simply refuses to accept the degree of abuse difficult child put Jess and I through, because if she accepted it then she might have to face the impact my bro's behavior had on HER and on me. So we take mom's input on Jess as well-meaning, but not always on target).
  2. flutterbee

    flutterbee Guest

    I'm hope that you find therapy to be useful. EMDR is the gold standard for PTSD, but I'm sure you know that.

    My mom is the same way with my kids. easy child can do no wrong and difficult child does little right. I've learned to let it roll off my back. I've spent several years setting boundaries - no easy task with my mom and it involved WWIII a couple of times - and I can live with where things are today.

    Good luck and keep us posted!
  3. totoro

    totoro Mom? What's a GFG?

    I hope this helps her... and all of you!!! Will she be OK once she finds out that is where she is going?

    I will be thinking of you guy's....
  4. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Keeping positive thoughts that the therapy will be successful!