JKF -- please check in
- Thread starter JJJ
- Start date
T
TeDo
Guest
PPPPLLLLEEEEAAASSSSEEEE let us know!
H
HaoZi
Guest
Also waiting to hear an update.
JKF
Well-Known Member
Hi everyone! I just love you guys so much! Totally makes my day to know that there are people out there who understand and care! So sorry I haven't been on much but I've been so busy with life this week. Things are just crazy here! I just want to hide under my covers for a year or so and then maybe (just maybe) then I'll come out! lol
Anyway, court is not until Friday but there have been some new developments. The first judge modified the order saying that he needs to leave psychiatric hospital and go to a less restrictive environment such as residential. DYFS is out of the picture because there is absolutely no neglect on our part and they can't legally do anything unless there is neglect. The CMO now agrees that difficult child needs to go directly to a PCR (Psychiatric Community Residence) and they are petitioning the court to hold difficult child in psychiatric hospital until a bed opens up. I received an email from the CMO supervisor today saying that at this point neither the shelter or home is an option anymore. On Friday we will go in front of a different judge (they rotate every two weeks). The CMO is fighting for him to stay in psychiatric hospital until a placement is found but the psychiatric hospital is fighting for him to be released because he's stable according to them. The clinician told me this whole thing is a mess and at this point it's strictly political. All I know is that everyone agrees that he can't come home at this point which is a relief!
Also, I had a visit with difficult child last night and everything went well until he made a very disturbing comment to me. He said "what if I start a fire? what if I lock you and my brother in a room and then start a fire?" then he said "but I'll let step dad live". He wasn't upset when he said this. In fact his tone was as if he was joking but it totally freaked me out. I reported this to the psychiatric hospital and CMO today and it's on record that he's still having these thoughts. The psychiatric hospital is trying to make it into nothing because at this point they want him out of there but the CMO is using this to their advantage to show that he needs to stay until a placement is found.
I'm still a little nervous about Friday but at this point with everyone recommending out of home placement I don't think the new judge will rule that I need to take him home with me. I just need to go there and be a broken record and plead my case once again!
At least next week is vacation for the rest of our family! It will be sad without difficult child there but in a way I'm relieved. I was kind of dreading what might happen if he came with us! I will update you all on Friday! Thanks again for all of your support! Wish me luck!
Anyway, court is not until Friday but there have been some new developments. The first judge modified the order saying that he needs to leave psychiatric hospital and go to a less restrictive environment such as residential. DYFS is out of the picture because there is absolutely no neglect on our part and they can't legally do anything unless there is neglect. The CMO now agrees that difficult child needs to go directly to a PCR (Psychiatric Community Residence) and they are petitioning the court to hold difficult child in psychiatric hospital until a bed opens up. I received an email from the CMO supervisor today saying that at this point neither the shelter or home is an option anymore. On Friday we will go in front of a different judge (they rotate every two weeks). The CMO is fighting for him to stay in psychiatric hospital until a placement is found but the psychiatric hospital is fighting for him to be released because he's stable according to them. The clinician told me this whole thing is a mess and at this point it's strictly political. All I know is that everyone agrees that he can't come home at this point which is a relief!
Also, I had a visit with difficult child last night and everything went well until he made a very disturbing comment to me. He said "what if I start a fire? what if I lock you and my brother in a room and then start a fire?" then he said "but I'll let step dad live". He wasn't upset when he said this. In fact his tone was as if he was joking but it totally freaked me out. I reported this to the psychiatric hospital and CMO today and it's on record that he's still having these thoughts. The psychiatric hospital is trying to make it into nothing because at this point they want him out of there but the CMO is using this to their advantage to show that he needs to stay until a placement is found.
I'm still a little nervous about Friday but at this point with everyone recommending out of home placement I don't think the new judge will rule that I need to take him home with me. I just need to go there and be a broken record and plead my case once again!
At least next week is vacation for the rest of our family! It will be sad without difficult child there but in a way I'm relieved. I was kind of dreading what might happen if he came with us! I will update you all on Friday! Thanks again for all of your support! Wish me luck!
JKF
Well-Known Member
Me too! Finally! I think it took a few eye opening visits with difficult child for them to really get it. He had a breakdown last week while his case worker was visiting with him. The case worker has been working with him for over 2 years now but has never seen that side of difficult child. He asked difficult child to stop lying to him all the time and start being honest. difficult child starting getting agitated and walked away. At that point the clinician stepped in and sat with him and the case worker and difficult child started crying hysterically and had a little breakdown. The CMO caseworker told me that he believes if difficult child had been home that would have turned into a rage. So they are actually now seeing some (though not all) of the behaviors that have been going on at home behind closed doors.
JKF
Well-Known Member
Thanks ((((((keista))))))! I'm not going to get tooo excited until after court on Friday cause I don't want to jinx anything but I think everything will go in my favor!
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HaoZi
Guest
If the judge shows any signs of waffling, wave this article at them: http://www.wane.com/dpp/news/son-stole-tried-to-blow-up-dad-home
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Liahona
Guest
I am sooooo glad you are o.k. and going on a vacation!!! Its also great that difficult child won't be coming home.
JKF
Well-Known Member
OMG! Scary! That's my point with this whole thing! Anything can happen! To others difficult child is a great kid...nice, polite, etc. We see a whole different side of him a lot of the time and it scares us! Thanks for the article HaoZi!
JKF
Well-Known Member
Thanks Liahona! I appreciate it more than you know! We are excited to go on vacation. It's only to the Jersey shore but it's a whole week away from everything! Feeling a little sad that difficult child won't be able to come but there will be other vacations! He's exactly where he needs to be right now!
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Liahona
Guest
You're going to do great tomorrow! Lots of "me" time today, relax.
JKF
Well-Known Member
Thanks! I certainly hope so! I've been keeping busy today by doing my cleaning and getting ready for vacation on Sat. Not leaving myself a lot of time to worry about tomorrow which is good! I'm tired of worrying about everything!
JKF
Well-Known Member
Ok...so just got done with court. It is finally agreed upon by all that difficult child can not come home at this time. CMO was fighting to keep him in the psychiatric hospital and the psychiatric hospital was fighting to send him to the shelter pending placement in a PRC. The judge is leaning towards the psychiatric hospital's side since the psychiatrist says he's stable and not a threat to himself or others at this time. CMO says that because he threatened my life he's still a danger to me and therefore should not be allowed to go to such a less restrictive environment such as the shelter pending placement. The judge will have a hearing on the matter on Monday. Since I will be away on vacation on Monday I will attend via phone conference. I'm almost certain that the judge will take the psychiatric hospital's side and difficult child will be placed in the shelter after the hearing on Monday.
All I know is that he will definitely not be allowed home until after he receives treatment which is a mixed blessing for us. We're happy that the nightmare will end but sad that it has had to come to this. I hope he really does get the help he needs so that he can return home someday.
All I know is that he will definitely not be allowed home until after he receives treatment which is a mixed blessing for us. We're happy that the nightmare will end but sad that it has had to come to this. I hope he really does get the help he needs so that he can return home someday.
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Liahona
Guest
I think this is great news. He isn't coming home and when he does (if he does) get out of the phos you won't be home in case he leaves the shelter to come looking for you.
