Seems boyfriend has decided, and dicussed with Nichole, to go for joint custody of Aubrey. You know, I never thought I'd ever say this, but I don't object. At this time he is the more stable parent. Nichole seems h*ll bent on going backward the more we try to push her forward. Add in the Borderline (BPD) stuff, and well, I just don't think it's a bad idea. I know some of this has to do with the child support issue. The hearing is coming up soon. But alot also has to do with the fact that getting joint custody now will make it easier for him to go for full custody later if it becomes necessary. And if Nichole doesn't start trying to get her act together soon it just might not be that far away. Yesterday he asked how they go about it. All I could think to tell them was to ask the court clerk, if they don't know they should know who to ask. My only experience has been thru domestic violence with stepgfg and divorces. Nichole had a major tantrum last night because I refused to make an extra trip across town to wallie world. Then she parked her fanny in my chair at my computer desk and refused to get out of it. I know it sounds like a small thing, but she'll hop on my computer and force me to watch Aubrey because she ignores her. Only it didn't work. I was in no mood and forced her out of the chair not caring if it set her off. It did, but it was controlled. I'm worrying. Lately she doesn't want to watch the baby, bother feeding the baby. Her only focus seems to be boyfriend. She won't even play with the baby. If Aubrey wants/needs something she comes to me or Daddy. If she wants to play she comes to me. I dunno. Not really neglectful, but not really parenting either, if you know what I mean. I step in because Aubrey is beginning to have issues with her needs not being met or being consoled when needed. I don't want to see this growing into something else. boyfriend tells me he has the same issues at his house. Nichole is radiating from being paranoid everyone is out to make her out to be a bad parent, to rage, to obsession with boyfriend, defensive. She's not doing much listening. Too defensive and thinking we're out to get her. I don't know what I'm going to do with this kid. More and more she is reminding me of my mother. Since my mother is schizophrenic this is NOT a good thing. So how to psychiatrists determine whether it's Borderline (BPD) or schizphrenia anyway? They sound very similar to me.