Joy being PITA, everything is difficult child's fault

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by SuZir, Jul 14, 2013.

  1. SuZir

    SuZir Well-Known Member

    difficult child has been home two weeks and will be two or three more. He has been in family orientated mood and has wanted to spend a lot of time with easy child. easy child has been happy to do so and in this point it seems age difference doesn't matter much any more (easy child is 17 and difficult child will soon turn 20 my sig is bit behind.) Everything would be fine and dandy, if easy child wouldn't had developed a habit of blaming difficult child from everything. And I mean everything.

    If easy child has not done some chore he was supposed to, it is because difficult child was on his way. When he lost a tennis match to difficult child, got angry and threw his racquet and it broke, it was difficult child's fault. (That wasn't first flying racquet in this household, my boys are over competitive and things have gone flying before. And after all, it was his racquet, if he wanted to break it and use his hard earned summer job money to buy a new one, it is his choice. Of course if he wanted a new one, he could have gotten part of the money by selling the old one instead of breaking it as I pointed out for him...) When he was late from the meeting the girlfriend and girlfriend got angry, that was difficult child's fault, because difficult child wasn't home when he called difficult child that he wanted difficult child to drive him there.

    And the latest; it is totally difficult child's fault that he is grounded for a week and misses a concert he was waiting for and already bought tickets for. 14-year-old friend of easy child's friend's little sister was taken to hospital for check-up Friday night because she had drank too much of strong punch she and little sister had stolen from the easy child's friend. It was made from very high alcohol count smuggled Russian rectified spirit, kind that is illegal here even if not smuggled. easy child's friend had bought it from some local drunk and also easy child had drank it. We do turn a blind eye to easy child occasionally drinking with moderation, and he did drink in moderation also this time, because I picked him up that night and he didn't appear intoxicated. But he did admit he had drank that punch and he does know, that we absolutely don't approve drinking smuggled alcohol of any kind, even less rectified spirit bought from some drunk. While those smuggled liqueurs mostly are what the seller says, there has been cases of methanol sold as spirit and drinking that causes blindness and death. So while smuggled alcohol is common, it is something we have absolutely forbid our kids to ever touch and they know why.

    Okay, easy child knew that others had drank from that specific bottle before and had not had any issues so likelihood of it being anything else than spirit was almost nil and that is why he is only grounded for a week. But if it wouldn't be spoiling our vacation, I would be grounding him for extra two weeks because his excuse for this: It was all difficult child's fault, because difficult child didn't agree to buy him more than three beers because I would kill him, if he bought easy child enough alcohol to get drunk. easy child just had to drink that punch because he had to give two of those beers to his girlfriend because girlfriend didn't want to drink punch made from smuggled alcohol. :hammer:

    Okay, I do understand it is not always easy to be difficult child's little brother. And I do understand that difficult child's issues and our attention to those may make easy child feel oversighted. But really, this kind of failure to own up your own mistakes is almost gfgish. And petulance attached to this behaviour drives me nuts.
    Last edited: Feb 5, 2015
  2. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    My kids are not allowed to drink at all until they turn 21, the drinking age here. If they do, and get caught,too bad, they are grounded. In fact, I get very tough on that. Your son broke a rule he knew you were strict about. He is probably not really blaming difficult child because he thinks difficult child is so horrible. He is probably just angry at himself for getting caught and grounded and not being allowed to go to the concert.

    Typical teen crabbiness :) He sounds like a very normal kid who is wishing he'd be at that concert with his buddies.
  3. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    Typical teen sibling of a difficult child.
    (been there done that. Just be glad you don't have to listen to the stream that gushes forth constantly at my house...)
  4. SuZir

    SuZir Well-Known Member

    Yeah, I guess I'm kind of spoiled with difficult child living that far. My easy child is far too logical and easy child to even try to blame difficult child when for example he has not un- and uploaded dishwasher when difficult child is three hours away and easy child hasn't seen him in two months ;) So I don't usually get that much. But now that difficult child is right there, it is so much easier to blame him in typical younger sibling way. And luckily difficult child isn't making huge fights out of it even though he of course eggs easy child on. Siblings... :sigh:
  5. Liahona

    Liahona Guest

    We have that here as well. Sometimes it is very hard here to tell what difficult child 1 actually did.