Hi all, I've been away from the forum for a while, as work has been keeping me super busy. Never a dull moment at home though! JT is in trouble again for an accident that damaged property. He could have been seriuosly hurt. Background: JT is taking Concerta for ADHD, which is helpful for the hyperactivity, but not so much for the impulsivity and risk-seeking behaviors. Generally, JT has been doing well in school and at home. He is earning a 3.5 GPA, and he is well liked by his teachers and friends. He is smart, funny, and very outgoing. At home, he works hard doing his chores and tries to be a good big brother to Bubby. We don't have a ton of problems with ODD any more. BUT . . . over the past few years, we've certainly had a lot of issues, because JT periodically gets into big trouble. For example, he stole a lot of money repeatedly and an ipod from his teammates in the locker room. It was reported to the police, he was fined, and then he was assigned to community service. That ended up costing around $600, plus he has a juvenile record now. We had to take his cell phone away because he was involved in sexting with a number of girls. We caught him looking at porn on the computer and had more parental controls installed. He can no longer use the computer without supervision. He has also downloaded terrible music with lyrics about things I can't even share, which we do not allow. Recently, he and a friend were experimenting in our garage with flammable liquids to see what would happen if they lit them up. Just weeks after getting his drivers license, we allowed him to take our vehicle and get it filled up with gas at a station only a couple of miles from our house. He was stopped for speeding - going 65 mph in a 45 mph zone (windy side road) and was fined $200. This past fall, he was suspended from school for hazing a freshman teammate, which utterly shocked me, since he is so opposed to bullying. Some of you may remember me posting about that. He is constantly harassing us to let him do things that are more adult-like hobbies and activities that carry safety concerns. Things like using a chainsaw, taking a boat out on the water by himself, welding, fixing up an old car, ice fishing alone overnight, etc. He is totally obsessed with this stuff and really believes he can do anything. I believe he is getting some sort of thrill with doing risky things. Fast Forward to Ten Days Ago: JT was working with some friends in the woods to remove some logs from a trail. Before he left, I told him how important it was that he stay safe, and he assured me that he would. They were using chainsaws to cut the trees that had fallen on the trail, and at some point, they decided to ride on the friend's four-wheelers. When JT and his friend came home, the friend mentioned that JT had hit a tree, and they were joking about it. JT quickly corrected his friend, stating that he had only hit a "branch". I noticed JT had a large mark across his face, and I asked if that was from the alleged "branch". He said it was, and I asked how he could get such a mark when he was wearing a helmet. He didn't have a good answer. My anntena went up, and I told him that I felt uncomfortable that this had happened and that we probably wouldn't be allowing him to ride four-wheelers or snowmobiles without an adult around any more. Of course he protested severely and said I was overreacting at his little scratch. He also stated that he had tons of experience driving four-wheelers and that there was no way he could have avoided hitting the branch; that it was an accident, but even a professional would have hit the branch. I can't stand it when he talks that way! That was 10 days ago. Last night, JT's friend's dad called stating that he had discovered the four-wheeler with broken fenders that day, and he learned it was JT who had crashed it into a tree in their woods. JT and his friend did not tell anyone how much damage had been done. Obviously, JT hit a tree and not a branch! He could have been killed. He was dishonest, reckless, and once again, put his safety and somebody else's property at risk. The damage is estimated conservatively at over $200. JT is rarely unsupervised, but whenever we allow him some privilege without supervision, this is what happens. When confronted, he will minimize, deny, and blame. He consistently underestimates risk and overestimates his ability level. He fails to consider the consequences. Each incident is unique and unrelated to any other incidents in his mind. He doesn't see the common thread - that he is impulsively losing control of his judgment and behavior. Soon he'll be an adult, and I'm so afraid he'll end up dead as a result of engaging in risky behavior. We won't be able to monitor and supervise him forever. JT wants to go to college to become an industrial arts education teacher at the high school level. We support that, but I worry that when he leaves home he won't be ready to manage himself. I have so much fear that he'll make big mistakes and get hurt or hurt someone else. The consequences could last a lifetime. How can we help him?