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<blockquote data-quote="Lil" data-source="post: 691836" data-attributes="member: 17309"><p>I will address this, but should preface my remarks:</p><p></p><p>I am possibly one of the thickest skinned people on earth...or maybe I'm just oblivious and bull my way thru life. I don't generally notice someone treating me...well badly isn't correct. I notice someone doing something overtly "bad" to me, but looks or small slights go right over my head.</p><p></p><p>For instance, I'm a BIG woman. I've been in WW and on-line groups and have had other woman (smaller than me) talk about how people look at them with disgust or make them feel like dirt. MANY have talked about people making remarks or oinking at them or whatever. I have never noticed anyone putting me down by words or looks or actions, not even in clothing stores which, I understand, are major offenders. I take that back...ONE time in my 52 years of life, have I felt that someone was treating me oddly and that was a young man who got stuck on a carnival ride with me...you could tell he hated being next to me. But you know, that was HIS problem.</p><p></p><p>By the same token, I tend to be very awkward and unsure of myself in new situations. I'm uncomfortable doing new things as a general rule and HATE not knowing all the ins and outs of a situation. It would bug me to not be told things as basic as "where's the bathroom key".</p><p></p><p>All this is to say, maybe you're taking things much more personally than they really are?</p><p></p><p>So you didn't know who to ask about the bathroom? So what? Now you do. You didn't get written up. You didn't get yelled at. You think your supervisor had a "tone" about it? Why? Did anyone tell you specifically who to ask in advance? No? Then not your fault.</p><p></p><p>So this woman was weird toward you? Apparently there's some weird politics between the units you didn't know about? Now you do. Maybe she was having a bad day? Maybe she didn't know you and didn't want to get in trouble? Maybe she's just a <img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/2012/censored2.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":censored2:" title="censored2 :censored2:" data-shortname=":censored2:" />?</p><p></p><p>I don't really see why you'd feel like a "slimy worm" for asking someone to unlock a bathroom. As the children's book says, Everyone Poops. There's not a person there who doesn't need the bathroom and apparently keys are in short supply. So lots of people need the door unlocked. Seems like no big deal.</p><p></p><p>You don't need these people to be your friends. You need them to be your coworkers and the work environment to be pleasant enough to get thru the day without trauma.</p><p></p><p>Keep telling yourself that you didn't do anything wrong and whatever happened there is NOT personal. I once told a friend who thought everyone was talking about her, "You aren't important enough for them to spend time talking about you." This is the same sort of thing, they don't know you well enough to care one way or the other about you yet. When they do, they'll see a coworker that's a pleasure to work with.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Lil, post: 691836, member: 17309"] I will address this, but should preface my remarks: I am possibly one of the thickest skinned people on earth...or maybe I'm just oblivious and bull my way thru life. I don't generally notice someone treating me...well badly isn't correct. I notice someone doing something overtly "bad" to me, but looks or small slights go right over my head. For instance, I'm a BIG woman. I've been in WW and on-line groups and have had other woman (smaller than me) talk about how people look at them with disgust or make them feel like dirt. MANY have talked about people making remarks or oinking at them or whatever. I have never noticed anyone putting me down by words or looks or actions, not even in clothing stores which, I understand, are major offenders. I take that back...ONE time in my 52 years of life, have I felt that someone was treating me oddly and that was a young man who got stuck on a carnival ride with me...you could tell he hated being next to me. But you know, that was HIS problem. By the same token, I tend to be very awkward and unsure of myself in new situations. I'm uncomfortable doing new things as a general rule and HATE not knowing all the ins and outs of a situation. It would bug me to not be told things as basic as "where's the bathroom key". All this is to say, maybe you're taking things much more personally than they really are? So you didn't know who to ask about the bathroom? So what? Now you do. You didn't get written up. You didn't get yelled at. You think your supervisor had a "tone" about it? Why? Did anyone tell you specifically who to ask in advance? No? Then not your fault. So this woman was weird toward you? Apparently there's some weird politics between the units you didn't know about? Now you do. Maybe she was having a bad day? Maybe she didn't know you and didn't want to get in trouble? Maybe she's just a :censored2:? I don't really see why you'd feel like a "slimy worm" for asking someone to unlock a bathroom. As the children's book says, Everyone Poops. There's not a person there who doesn't need the bathroom and apparently keys are in short supply. So lots of people need the door unlocked. Seems like no big deal. You don't need these people to be your friends. You need them to be your coworkers and the work environment to be pleasant enough to get thru the day without trauma. Keep telling yourself that you didn't do anything wrong and whatever happened there is NOT personal. I once told a friend who thought everyone was talking about her, "You aren't important enough for them to spend time talking about you." This is the same sort of thing, they don't know you well enough to care one way or the other about you yet. When they do, they'll see a coworker that's a pleasure to work with. [/QUOTE]
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