Just a vent... beer pong pics of difficult child on FB posted by his girlfriend's DAD+

Discussion in 'Substance Abuse' started by Signorina, Aug 3, 2012.

  1. Signorina

    Signorina Guest

    Disclaimer: Let me say that I am not in the mood to hear that I need to detach. I get it, I honor it, I appreciate that helpful advice.I am crabby and incredulous and I am PMSing and I need some righteous indignation! (And I won't "de-friend" difficult child's girlfriends father - because he friended ME, he's my neighbor, and difficult child is living with them. I do not want to burn any bridges.)



    caption read "our nightly activity while (on vacation)" (difficult child went with them) (difficult child is in the foreground-a friend is in the back)

    My son is UNDERAGE. I am not a goody goody - I get a parent giving a college kid a beer or two...but playing & encouraging nightly BEER PONG? Seriously?

    Especially when I was in heartfelt touch with both the mom and dad last year expressing my worries about difficult child's substance abuse and I SHARED with them that he had been diagnosed (by 3 unrelated professionals - 2 pychs and a CSW!) as a substance abuser at a high risk of addiction. And he had spent a year in counseling being treated for that. And since he started using, he has failed out of school and become homeless. My once straight A kid! All they need to do is to look at difficult child's downfall to see the effects that partying is having on his future. How else do you explain it? And yet - they are playing BEER PONG with him? Two 50++ adults playing BEER PONG with their own kids - twenty year olds! And posting about it on FB.

    Isn't that nice?
    Lasted edited by : Aug 3, 2012
  2. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Disgusting and I'm right there with you with the righteous indignation and think I will cut and paste your disclaimer for future use.

    I want to shake these parents until their eyeballs fall out and have them tell me just why they think this is ok. Or actually I'd like these parents to get arrested for providing alcohol to a minor. It enrages me that a parent would disrespect another parent like this and jeopardize the health and welfare of an underage person, one that is dating their daughter. What will they think if your son marries their daughter and has their grandchildren and is a hard core alcoholic/drug addict and can't take care of his family?

    I admire the strength you have in not calling them and letting them have it.

    We are having our neighborhood block party in a couple weeks and the parents of the boy that let difficult child live there and drink and use drugs will hopefully be there, unless they are afraid I will tell everyone how their heroin addicted son was arrested for criminal damage and trespass on our property and they had to pay us $4,000, which of course I will.

  3. Calamity Jane

    Calamity Jane Well-Known Member

    They must be imbeciles, Sig.

    Doing stuff like that once in a while...well, it happens to the best of us, I guess. But proudly displaying it on FB and right in your face when girlfriend's mom and dad know the whole backstory is another thing. It's either just stupid or confrontational, or both! I am like a psycho mother from hell on my block, and have been known to chase d-bags off my driveway who were idling their car, while texting for my difficult child to come out and hang out with them (all the while they are aware that he's trying so hard to abstain). I've cussed at them, threatened them, you name it (and these are the same kids who were eating chicken parm and lasagna at my house all the time when they were easy child's in middle school). I just don't give a damn - I'd rather they cry now than me cry later, Know what I mean??
    Those people housing your difficult child are just plum stupid and the worst part is I just don't think there's anything you can do about it.
    Last edited: Aug 3, 2012
  4. pasajes4

    pasajes4 Well-Known Member

    It is a head scratcher for sure. It is one thing (not in a good way) for kids to sneak and do this. Quite another when parents not only condone and provide the means, but to actually participate in a criminal activity.......geesh.

    I wonder if you could get a police officer to view the picture perfect proof?
  5. AmericanGirl

    AmericanGirl Guest


    I don't know what to say...except some people are total idiots. I know it's hard, but it is so wise of you not to say anything.

    The woman who used to live across the street from me actually drove her kids around during junior senior wars so they could paintball houses...while drinking beer (the kids). She's an older mom (should be wiser), educated and a business owner. But good sense is in short supply these days.

    I'm so very sorry.....
  6. 92025

    92025 Member

    Are you sure the girlfriend's parents know about the extent of his problem? Because if they do, that is just nuts. I'd probably send him a message from the perspective of assuming that he didn't know and give them an easy way to save face....
  7. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Well, sadly, difficult child is not THEIR kid. Perhaps...they don't really care :<

  8. 92025

    92025 Member

    but he's dating their daughter! Surely, they don't want their daughter dating a relapsed drug addict. Esp since it appears they're supporting him now? good grief
  9. dashcat

    dashcat Member

    Unreal. I don't blame you for being livid.
  10. exhausted

    exhausted Active Member

    I am just flabbergasted-it makes me sick that people could be so clueless in this day and age!!!!
  11. Signorina

    Signorina Guest

    Thank you for sharing in my indignation. Really. I needed to know that I am not crazy for being so DUMBFOUNDED!!

    And aside from difficult child's substance issues - why would parents approve of and participate in a BINGE DRINKING game with college age kids??? (their older daughter & her boyfriend are 22, but still?)

    Drinking games = Binge drinking. Sure, have a beer or two with a college kid...but BINGE DRINK?

    And don't give me that b/s that if you do allow it at home, you can teach them to do it properly and then it's not forbidden fruit and it loses its appeal...

    Every single kid I know that had "cool parents" did not grow up well. They were the BIGGEST partiers of them all.

    And, as much as I would love to give them a piece of my mind; I know it will backfire. I am so tempted to post "who won?" just to be snarky in the comments of the picture, but I won't. Don't forget - I reached out to these people - and they shut me down and shut me out completely. And now my kid is living mostly with them. If I make even a "nice" phone call about the pictures, it will escalate things and I will drive him further away.


    But I love you guys.
  12. AmericanGirl

    AmericanGirl Guest

    Reminds me of that old saying....you can't fix stupid. :(

    Hugs Sig. Hope you can fid some joy today.
  13. dashcat

    dashcat Member

    Mr. Ostrich is 58 years old and he still "plays" beer pong. Some adults never really become adults. Sounds like your difficult child's friend's parents are in that camp. You are so right about not saying anything. They are hopless.
  14. 1905

    1905 Well-Known Member

    After going to a college seminar, these type of pictures were put up on a screen of what NOT to do. Future employers will see this, once these drunken facebook pictures go on the internet, too many people see them. Look, you are seeing them, oh look, the cops can see these idiots giving your son beer! Seriously, I would be livid too!
  15. hearts and roses

    hearts and roses Mind Reader

    It would be a great challenge for me to not call them and blasting them out, even threatening to call the police. Appalling behavior from a supposed parent! Hugs to you, you have every right to feel as you do. I admire your strength in not storming their castle.
  16. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Ok, I am the softy on here and I think this way over the line of what parents should do. Its illegal. Beer pong is just stupid. The fact that parents were not only in the foreground not aware of what was going on but actually doing it with them shows just how out of touch with reality they are. Its fine to have a drink with your 21=+ adult child but wait till then. (okay, I have to admit I bought a bottle of cheap pink champagne on Corys 18th birthday and we all toasted that milestone but there was only enough in that bottle for one small cup each)

    We would have never allowed Cory or any of our boys to have parties with alcohol here. We could have lost everything plus go to jail. Even Cory is smarter than that and he is a difficult child and much younger than this man. He sure doesnt post them on the internet.

    I do think you will have a difficult time getting the police to do anything though. We had proof that a 25 year old was giving Cory alcohol when he was 17 AND he was taking medications for psychiatric stuff. Those medications said do not mix with alcohol. Cory's father went to this man and told him not to give Cory any more alcohol even if he asked and we even sent this to him in a certified letter. The police did nothing even though we asked for something at least contributing to the delinquency of a minor. Nope.