I've been on and off the board since difficult child was diagnosed as BiPolar (BP) at about 13. (Are they still called difficult children? LOL!) Suicide attempts, running away, drugs, etc. For those of you don't know me or remember the hardest time in my life I'll provide a little background. In 2006 difficult child attacked me in my sleep with a knife. He was 17. He was wearing a mask and gloves. He did not hurt me and I called 911 to get him into the hospital. He spent 3 days in the hospital and the next year in jail awaiting trial. No amount of medical records, psychiatric testing, hospital records or educational information was allowed to be presented. Ultimately he was sentenced to 10 years in jail suspended and probation. He finally got off probation last year. As a convicted felon he cannot find a job - he (and I!) have applied to anything that shows up and get no replies. He has isolated himself up in his room and sleeps, when he does sleep, until 5 in the afternoon. He has a psychiatrist, but still goes DAYS without sleeping. The saga continues in that he has become verbally abusive to me and to his girlfriend. She is no innocent, she hits him, but I am so ashamed that my son could talk to her and to ME this way. Just like a batterer he always says he is sorry and cries afterward. I constantly ask myself, "Is this something he can control? Is it really the immaturity or the illness?" Am I holding him back by not forcing him out? My son has nowhere else to go and seems to have given up. I'm afraid he might die homeless and I can't help but wonder what the hell I did wrong. I know I am an enabler but I need people who can see the complexity of this. My friends and family say I should throw him out. Without medication I don't know what would happen. I'm scared.