Just a vent!!!!!

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by everywoman, May 23, 2012.

  1. everywoman

    everywoman Active Member

    I don't do this a lot----in fact I hate to whine---but....
    PCson is going through a divorce. Wife cheated. He filed. She. is. an. idiot. and is making his life miserable with her demands. He is requiring she stay in the town they now live in. He is asking for joint custody. He wants to be an active father. Children are attending one of the best schools in the state. They live in an urban area with lots to do for the kids. She wants to move back to her podunk town with schools rated near the bottom of the state (which is rated on the bottom in the nation). She thinks its unfair that she is going to have to go to work since she has been a stay at home mom. If she moved back home she and the kids could move in with her parents and she wouldn't have to work full time. She thinks she should give half his pay because she hasn't worked during the marriage---instead she had the luxury of having a husband who worked his butt off and sacrificed so she could be at home. He has been paying all her bills. She started work this week and he handed her her bills (student loan, car payment, cc) she says she should have to pay for the 2 months she is allowed to live in the house and "get on her feet" but expects him to foot the daycare bill on top of everything. He can't reason with her---and it is driving him insane. She actually :kickme::kickme::kickme:said she doesn't know why they can't just have a regular divorce where the husband leaves the house and pays for everything----IDIOT!!!
  2. buddy

    buddy New Member

    OH good grief. She doesn't sound very bright. What did he even see in her? Isn't it crazy how people just totally seem to change? I'm sorry it is like this for him. He must be devastated. Is your state a no fault divorce state? She clearly pulled the trigger (though I get it that it takes two to work on the bigger picture, but you know what I mean)....

    So sorry for your son and the children. Divorce is hard.
  3. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Really? And on what planet does this happen?

    Back when easy child and Travis were babies, husband and I split due to something that was not between us personally.....(I won't go into details) Due to that, and husband understood why I thought it important to leave the marriage at that time, we had the most friendly divorce the county had ever known, possibly the entire state. husband did pay for everything. He even paid me alimony because I'd been a stay at home Mom. He even tried to give me all the household furnishings since I'd have the kids. BUT I refused to accept the alimony unless it was temporary. (we agreed a year was long enough for me to find work), I refused to take any furnishings that were his before I entered the relationship (which was most of it), AND I refused to allow the state or my lawyer take him to the cleaners with child support.

    husband and I arrived at court hearings together in the same car. It literally blew people away.

    So, she cheated on her husband, but she still thinks he should continue to treat her as if basically he's married to her..........she just gets a piece of paper that makes it ok to cheat............ Brilliant. She's in for a rude awakening. LOL

    I dunno about the keeping kids to a certain area. It sure didn't work with husband. That was the only thing we argued about. But then I was already in Illinois by that time. Court sided with me. I let husband camp out on my couch on weekends he visited the kids so he didn't have to pay hotel fees ontop of the gas to drive 2 states to see them.

    easy child and her husband are on the brink of a divorce as we speak. She's still fighting to make it work. But if he doesn't get his temper under control............ And while I love him like a son, I really don't see that happening because he refuses to believe it's a real issue. (when it's an in your face issue) I'm hoping, praying they can work it out. They love each other more than either of them realize. And if it doesn't work out, it better be somewhat friendly divorce because sister in law has been in the family for so long and from such a young age......he's a member of this family married or not.

    (((hugs))) Its so hard to see your kids going through such things.
  4. cubsgirl

    cubsgirl Well-Known Member

    Sounds like she is missing a few key brain cells. Wow. When my parents got divorced (not until I was in my 20's) my Mom didn't want to work full-time either but the divorce judge set her straight :)
  5. keista

    keista New Member

    She sounds like my FH. They screw up, but they are the "victim" in the divorce - NOT!

    Hopefully in your state there is a standing order issued once divorce is filed. This order says many things, but the most important is that the kids can't be taken out of state without permission of both parents or the court. Yes, he can fight to keep her and the kids in state. He's got an easier fight if he focuses on positives for them like educational opportunities. Sometimes judges do allow for a no questions move to the primary custodian's home state, but if she wants to do that just so she could be lazy and not work and set a bad example for the kids, that can easily be argued.

    Best of luck to your PCson!
  6. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    And why, in particular, would the Mom need to be the one with custody? Just wondering...
  7. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    No good reason, except she was a stay at home mom so obviously she knows the kids better (RIIIIIIGHT).

    Most states, though, presume the mother is the better primary custodian. They like "shared parenting" which is anything BUT in most cases. (Lisa's case was SUPER different.)
  8. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    True, Step. Mine was different in a LOT of ways. AND it was like 28 yrs ago or so.........and Ohio was NOT into shared parenting at that time. It was only just barely beginning to catch on. At that time Mom was automatically handed custody unless she could be proven unfit. (and that is NOT easy to do) Heck, honestly..........unless Dad is willing to fight for joint, or the parents WANT joint, it's still often that way.
  9. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    This is what lawyers are for.
    So sorry. :(
  10. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Good lord EW, how many times is she going to do this to him? Im glad he is finally going through with it. I would definitely go for an "at fault" divorce because she committed adultery. The only way I would go no contest was if she caved to all demands. As far as giving her money, I actually think I might go onto the state website and put his income into the child support calculator and figure out what it would be and only give her that amount right now. Definitely by certified check so he has proof.
  11. JJJ

    JJJ Active Member

    I hope he has an attorney. He can't prevent MOM from moving anywhere she wants, he needs the court order to prevent the CHILDREN from being moved outside the town/county and schools they are currently in.
  12. everywoman

    everywoman Active Member

    He has an attorney. He has already filed--and he filed first and did put in that she can not move out of the area. He is over the marriage---he tried everything for years to make her happy---he moved away from his family so she could be closer to hers---he changed jobs and sold his first home because she wasn't happy. She's not happy now either--but he realizes it is not his job to make her happy. She has had to get a job. The kids will be in day care for the first time ever. She is a piece of work to be sure but he is trying to maintain a decent relationship for the sake of the kids. As the product of divorce, he understands the need for parents to work together. Her ideas just seem to be so out there---I am shocked by the thoughts she thinks---Hopefully, it will be over soon and he can get on with his life and can continue being an active father for his children---which is all he really wants.