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Parent Support Forums
Substance Abuse
Just beginning to accept the reality that I was played
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<blockquote data-quote="DoneDad" data-source="post: 745835" data-attributes="member: 17244"><p>She is emotionally blackmailing you. She is using your love and concern for your grandkids to manipulate you. That’s how she got the $2,000 out of you. She’s doing it because it works. </p><p></p><p>Going to a therapist is the best thing. Hopefully you can work on establishing and maintaining boundaries. </p><p></p><p>Sorry if this sounds curt, but I’m typing it on my phone. Believe me, I empathize with your situation. We’re raising our 4 year old grandson and have permanent guardianship. If you are raising your grandson, consider getting guardianship. If you don’t have legal standing, she can show up on a whim and take him whenever she wants (or say, “give me $2,000 or I’m taking him”). It’s a way to protect yourself and your grandson. If you can’t get guardianship because she or the father fights you on it, then you might have to consider not raising him anymore. I know that’s tough. But it’s going to be tough when she takes him and does the same thing she’s doing with your granddaughter. She’s not going to change. The reality is that you’re going to be stuck in this pattern for the rest of your life unless you do something to change it. You have to get off her roller coaster ride. </p><p></p><p>I know these are agonizing circumstances and decisions and you have to do what you can live with. Again, going to therapy and figuring out what YOU want is the best thing you can do. I know how tough it is when little ones are involved and you’ve bonded with them.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="DoneDad, post: 745835, member: 17244"] She is emotionally blackmailing you. She is using your love and concern for your grandkids to manipulate you. That’s how she got the $2,000 out of you. She’s doing it because it works. Going to a therapist is the best thing. Hopefully you can work on establishing and maintaining boundaries. Sorry if this sounds curt, but I’m typing it on my phone. Believe me, I empathize with your situation. We’re raising our 4 year old grandson and have permanent guardianship. If you are raising your grandson, consider getting guardianship. If you don’t have legal standing, she can show up on a whim and take him whenever she wants (or say, “give me $2,000 or I’m taking him”). It’s a way to protect yourself and your grandson. If you can’t get guardianship because she or the father fights you on it, then you might have to consider not raising him anymore. I know that’s tough. But it’s going to be tough when she takes him and does the same thing she’s doing with your granddaughter. She’s not going to change. The reality is that you’re going to be stuck in this pattern for the rest of your life unless you do something to change it. You have to get off her roller coaster ride. I know these are agonizing circumstances and decisions and you have to do what you can live with. Again, going to therapy and figuring out what YOU want is the best thing you can do. I know how tough it is when little ones are involved and you’ve bonded with them. [/QUOTE]
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Substance Abuse
Just beginning to accept the reality that I was played
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