She called me tonight, another poor me fest, wanting to have dinner with me and "talk." I told her I couldn't help her. I told her she needed to "talk" to professionals... that I didn't know what telse to do for her. I told her I was embarrassed about the way she behaved and the concert, and that I couldn't even trust her enough to be in public with her any more. We talked awhile, she admitted to taking 120 pills.. between klonopin and loritab.. since being discharged from the hospital last week. She also admitted to lying about losing a prescription so she could get more, and convincing her boyfriend she lost it so he'd "vouch" for her. She admitted some other things, too, which were disturbing. She called the intake line, and then asked me to give her a ride, and I said yes, but that I couldn't handle staying there with her through intake. She was ok with that. Her boyfriend wanted her to wait until he got off work, said he'd take her, but she said she was afraid she'd change her mind. So, I took her. She says she's afraid she'll be worse off when she comes out ... i.e., her boyfriend will kick her out and she'll have to go to a halfway house (this would not be a bad thing) .. I told her to just take things one step at a time. I'm hesitant to even be optimistic. Too much deja vu. But I suppose each time, could be THE time. You never know. I just keep thinking how complicated she is... the drugs, the Borderline (BPD), the bipolar, the health issues ... but I do know that the substance abuse has to be dealt with first and foremost. I just hope someone there recognizes the other issues. But I can't do the "what if" game, I know that. I have no control over any of it. But .. it just makes me so sad. Besides numbness, sadness is the overwhelming feeling. We shall see what happens, I guess.