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Substance Abuse
Just feeling weak about the collateral damage
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 724061" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>i am in a similar position.</p><p></p><p>with a man who is not my son's father. complicated by his not speaking english--we speak spanish which is not our mother tongue.</p><p></p><p>m wants to take responsibility but feels he has no authority.</p><p></p><p>there have been physical altercations. and police. the last, years ago. </p><p></p><p>i am in the middle. </p><p></p><p>my son is indifferent to the costs to me.</p><p></p><p>m worries for me and for my son. he sees the only way to deal with my son is absolute vigilance. living in our house. he knows this will finish me off.</p><p></p><p>my son has been here 3 weeks. using marijuana going thru the theater of n.a. meetings which are "closed." getting new lists. basically shuffling papers and walking around.</p><p></p><p>he did "apparently" enroll in an outpatient clinic which is starting today. he says.</p><p></p><p>m stormed out of the house to avoid getting more mad. </p><p></p><p>i feel i have lost my life. a life i was struggling to get back. </p><p></p><p>everything with my son is dissembling and manipulation. he says he does this to protect his interests. i.e. to have a place to live. </p><p></p><p>i can see how stupid we are to continue to make conditions. it empowers him to defy them. </p><p></p><p>i feel very alone too. i also feel that with my son here i am losing focus on myself. i start to feel i want to die. when he is the center of gravity.</p><p></p><p>i just wanted to tell you sam that this feels impossibly hard because it is impossible. </p><p></p><p>i think your husband and you need a safe zone that son does not dominate. not worries about him. not conflict. </p><p></p><p>that is what i think h is saying indirectly and middle son too. i think i need it too.</p><p></p><p>to let go, is not to no longer care.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 724061, member: 18958"] i am in a similar position. with a man who is not my son's father. complicated by his not speaking english--we speak spanish which is not our mother tongue. m wants to take responsibility but feels he has no authority. there have been physical altercations. and police. the last, years ago. i am in the middle. my son is indifferent to the costs to me. m worries for me and for my son. he sees the only way to deal with my son is absolute vigilance. living in our house. he knows this will finish me off. my son has been here 3 weeks. using marijuana going thru the theater of n.a. meetings which are "closed." getting new lists. basically shuffling papers and walking around. he did "apparently" enroll in an outpatient clinic which is starting today. he says. m stormed out of the house to avoid getting more mad. i feel i have lost my life. a life i was struggling to get back. everything with my son is dissembling and manipulation. he says he does this to protect his interests. i.e. to have a place to live. i can see how stupid we are to continue to make conditions. it empowers him to defy them. i feel very alone too. i also feel that with my son here i am losing focus on myself. i start to feel i want to die. when he is the center of gravity. i just wanted to tell you sam that this feels impossibly hard because it is impossible. i think your husband and you need a safe zone that son does not dominate. not worries about him. not conflict. that is what i think h is saying indirectly and middle son too. i think i need it too. to let go, is not to no longer care. [/QUOTE]
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Just feeling weak about the collateral damage
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