Hi, everyone! I am a mother to 2 difficult children, both girls, age 11 and 5. I feel like I am truly losing my mind. difficult child 1 (who will actually be 11 in 10 days) just started her third week of partial hospitalization. It looks like we will end up with diagnoses of ADHD-combined and ODD, with heavy emphasis on the ODD. She also has trichotillomania and dermatillomania. I just finished reading the Chandler papers on ODD, which were a breath of fresh air - so validating. I am so relieved to find people who know what I'm going through. My child will not do anything that we want her to or ask of her, just because she doesn't have to. I am living in an emotional war zone and badly need some reinforcements. She has been suspended 3 times since winter break and the school really doesn't want her to return, but is willing to let her try again after she completes PH. Like most people on here, people think we are terrible parents despite the fact that I have worked in mental health as a social worker for 10 years with children and adolescents. The in-laws, who are professional enablers, think we should send her to live with them (just because that's what they want). She is emotionally and verbally abusive to her younger sister, also known as difficult child 2.We have just started the Smart Parenting program that the PH program recommended, so fingers crossed. Based on what I have read on this forum, I will be ordering and reading The Explosive Child as well. difficult child 2 was born ODD. Seriously. We started seeing symptoms at age 15 months. Everyone thinks it's adorable how "strong-willed" she is. Even her PreK teachers thought it was cute until recently. Now she's out of control. On top of the issues we have always had with her, she is now getting more extreme behaviors modeled for her by difficult child 1. So now the school wants to discuss her as well. We are in a bad situation - we live in the worst school district in one of the worst states in the US. Public schools are not an option for us and we can't move right now. Our private school wants us to go away. We have completely lost control of our home and our children and feel like we are literally suffocating. As a result, I have developed an anxiety problem where I have trouble swallowing and have lost 15 pounds in 3 months. I was already underweight. Before someone suggests it, neither of our children have any symptoms or red flags for any ASDs. They are neurotypical. Both have advanced cognitive, language, and social skills, though both have difficulty with social situations due to oppositional behavior. They are both extremely "bossy." I am just really glad to have a place where I can admit that right now, I don't like my children, and I really want them to go away. That's such a horrible thing for a parent to say, but we all have our limits. I look forward to getting to know everyone on here!