just hard

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by crazymama30, Aug 28, 2011.

  1. crazymama30

    crazymama30 Active Member

    So I have been bit by bit cleaning my room and bagging up S2BX's stuff. It is hard, as it reminds of the good times as well as the bad. I have thrown away his precious recorded dvds of his shows. Now he never labeled them so who knows what is on what, but he was so obsessed with recording them it is funny.

    Bagged up his clothes, was ok untill I bagged up the shirt he wore at our wedding. He was such a different person then, not even close to who he is now.

    Found all the tooth fairy letters he wrote to the kids. I bagged those up for him too. they are his, and they will all go in "his" shed. I will keep them for him for awhile after he gets out, and then will donate every thing.

    bit by bit it is becoming my room, and I like that. I never liked spending any time in there, it was so cluttered with his stuff.

    At the same time it is kinda hard, bitter sweet.
  2. keista

    keista New Member

    Might be the right time to splurge on some paint and/or new window treatments, sheets, etc. Really make it your own, for your new life. He is a part of your past, which means he'll always be a part of you, but the future is all yours.

    Just some quick *legal* advice, don't get rid of anything until he picks it up or the divorce is final. If you feel you need to, make sure you give him notice in writing with the time frame clearly stated.
  3. crazymama30

    crazymama30 Active Member

    Keista, he will be in jail for a year or more. For now, I am just bagging his clothes and putting them in the shed. The only stuff I am throwing out are the dvd's, vcr tapes, and that sort of thing. The rest of it I will save. I plan on filing when I get my taxes back, and that will be when he is still in jail so there won't be a problem serving him. After that? I don't care if he shows for court, better for me if he does not.
  4. pepperidge

    pepperidge New Member

    good for you, for having the courage to confront all the stuff and do something about it. Did the kids ever see him at a good time? I would keep some of the "good things" like the tooth fairy letters for your kids so that they can have some good memories too.

    Terrible to say, but I am glad that you wont have to worry about him and what he might do for a long while.
  5. Liahona

    Liahona Guest

  6. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

  7. keista

    keista New Member

    YAY! Sorry, I didn't know he was away for a whole year.

    Careful what you wish for and think. Am there, AM doing that. I was pretty sure husband would default, but he didn't. THAT I can deal with. What I can't deal with is him thinking he can handle his end of the divorce on his own, and he's doing EVERYTHING wrong and making it ridiculously difficult for ME. Since you're waiting on a tax refund, I'm guessing that means you'll get an attorney, so you'll have someone else doing the worrying for you. I pray all goes much more smoothly for you.
  8. crazymama30

    crazymama30 Active Member

    Yes, I am getting an attorney. No way am I trying to do that all on my own, the restraining order paperwork was bad enough!!!

    Pepper, it is not terrible to say, it is honest. I am glad too that he is gone for a long time. He wants me to get him a calling card so he can call the kids, but the last time he called easy child all he did was grill her for information. Also, the longer the time is since they talked to him, the better they act. If the KIDS ask to talk to their dad I will get a calling card. But for now? I am leaving it alone.

    They both have good memories of their dad and have been talking about those. I just let them talk, and listen. They even now know about the tooth fairy story. I wish they had more good memories, but if they had more then maybe I would not be getting a divorce now would I?
  9. hearts and roses

    hearts and roses Mind Reader

    Hugs CM, I'm sure that despite the certain amount of freedom you feel in making your personal space your own, it's difficult to come across all those older happier mementos. Be gentle on yourself and remember to take breaks when you need to.
  10. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

  11. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    Many, many hugs.
  12. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I wasnt married long but I can remember going through the junk he left behind. The only stuff that I felt was somewhat important was a packet of papers that included his DD214 and I was about to pitch it for spite but my father wouldnt let me and he mailed it down to his parents...lol.