well, not bad really just sad. I miss my daughter so much. I worry about her physical health. And I worry about her emotional health. Her last few letters have been more positive emotionally, but she is still in physical pain. She has never been very verbal. She doesn't show pain. She fights it until she breaks down. She has always been that way. A lot like her mom, sad to say. Stoic until she falls apart. And she won't fall apart in front of anyone. And I know that if she tells me she is in pain, she is. She doesn't say that lightly. She went for years dancing on a knee with 30% of the cartilage degenerated. She danced on pointe with broken toes. She competed in a dance competition at age 7 with a broken nose and cheekbone and an eye swollen closed. She has never cried with an IV. She almost let her appendix rupture because she didn't want to ruin her cousin's wedding. And most people don't know if she's in pain because it won't show. And today I miss her so much. Our thing was to sit on the back deck at the end of the day and just talk---about everything, about nothing. And she's not here. And I haven't talked with her for more than 4 minutes and 40 seconds since Aug. 4th. God, I miss her.