Just hospitalized my 8yr old daughter for the first time on Wednesday

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by jdonovan, Jan 29, 2011.

  1. jdonovan

    jdonovan New Member

    I am very new to this site but I am finding helpful just to talk to other people with similar problems.

    I just voluntarily had my 8 yr old daughter hospitalized on Wed Jan 26. It was the hardest thing I think I have ever done as a parent. I am still anxious and miss her. I am glad she is getting help but still worried how she will be when she gets home.
    She has problems with depression, anxiety and violent anger management issues. She was diagnosis with ODD when she was about 5. Recently her behavior has been getting worse and she even tries to hurt herself. I am having surgery on monday the 31st and worry about her hitting on me when i get home. I also fear for her and her younger sisters.
    They just started her on Abilify Thursday night. I talked with the family therapist today and they are saying you shows major depression but for unknown reasons. I just want her to be healthy and happy. They keep asking me what questions I have and I am so overwhelmed I don't know what to say. Any advice would be great.
  2. HaoZi

    HaoZi Guest

    Hello and *HUGS*. I found this place when I had to hospitalize mine a few months ago. I would say make certain you express your concerns for safety with them. Get some help to work on a safety plan for home and make sure the other kids know it and drill them on it if you need to. Did they say why they chose Abilify for her? What they hope it will do for her and what to expect from it, as well as what possible bad side effects to be on the lookout for?
  3. C_J

    C_J New Member

    My son was admitted on Wednesday as well. He was discharged yesterday because the doctors that work with our insurance consulted the doctors treating him and they decided he needed out patient. My son is 7, we have had problems since he was 2. His official diagnosis is ADHD and ODD. He started Abilify last May, it seems to work...for the most part. He has been on 5 mg, but with the events that lead up to his hospitalization (freaking out at school, running off campus into heavy traffic, almost hit by a car and then hitting the teachers who caught him - he was convinced that they were going to hurt him), they increased his dose to 10 mg.

    I feel so sorry for these kids...I wish there was a magical pill to cure them instead of such a struggle.
  4. Andy

    Andy Active Member


    I hospitalized my difficult child when he was 11 years old. His anxiety had grown so deep that he could no longer handle the self harm thoughts. I was so scared for him.

    I know what you are going through. I remember the one hour drive home on the phone with the church secretary (the day school teacher I was trying to reach had left for the day) and wondering how in the world was I going to face husband? How can I tell my family that I put difficult child in this hospital? I spent the days at work crying for much of the first week. Good thing I had a private office and a great support through my co-workers and supervisor. I visited him every night during visitation time and stayed at a hotel near the hospital. The next morning I would drive the one hour home to work. I work 4 hour days but for that week I worked longer hours just to have a distraction.

    When difficult child came home after two weeks, he stated on the first night that he kind of missed the psychiatric hospital. There was security in their bedtime and morning scheduling. I am sure there was security in there entire day of scheduling - he knew what to expect next. The kids learned how to end the day and start the new one. So, for awhile, he followed the bedtime schedule the psychiatric hospital had for the kids. That was a few years ago so I don't remember it exactly but it did include shower, snack time and quiet time.

    Ask how to handle an outburst, how to watch for a start of one, and who you can call for support.

    My difficult child was given a lot of tools to use to recognize the start of an anxious moment and to ward it off. Some options he was able to draw upon was, journal, talk to an adult, and breathing exercises. Ask what your daughter has learned about controlling her own emotions, what you can do to help remind her of this ability.

    The key right now is for you and her to recognize an angry of anxious moment before it gets out of hand. I found with difficult child that often times took a backwards looking plan. You back track through every event asking, "How did you feel just before this step?" After awhile, she may recognize that first feeling and know she wants to get control at that moment before it gets out of control.

    I hope she is willing to work on this - that will make things a lot easier!
  5. Jena

    Jena New Member


    welcome! great place sorry you had to find us. i also am still in my second hospitalization with my daughter for a food phobia. it isnt' easy, probably the hardest thing as a person you will ever go thru yet you will go thru it, survive and be ok. it may not feel that way right now yet remember how strong you are.

    what is her diagnosis, besides odd. i dont' like odd diagnosis. i never did. there's always more and shes' so young also. it must be a challenge for you. are you alone or married? does your husband/partner if you have one back you up on any discipliing in the home or anything new you try with-her? how many other kids do you have?

    you should add a signature to the bottom of the page so we can know a little more about you and not ask endless questions. :)

    i agree with-others you need to come up with a safety plan with-the doctor's family therapist etc. on how to handle those violent moments. there is even a certain hold position you can ask to be taught that will help restrain her in those moments. other than that what i've learned is structure a whole lot of it.

    make a weekly schedule post it on her wall and one in the kitchen. this way she always knows what's coming next, do same with-house rules so there is no confusion and she sees what's expected. it's hard raising kids like ours yet it can be done. we're all here doing it each day and venting away while we do it lol. you will be ok, she will be ok, and doing what you did remember was for her, in her best interests and the rest of your family.

    being a parent bites sometimes there is no better word, yet it's your strength that allowed you to make such a hard decision.