jenniferse
New Member
Hey guys, thanks for having a forum like this that parents can come to for info and insight!!
I am the 35 y/o mommy to daughter#1 - 7 y/o and daughter#2 - 2 y/o.
I am a wife to my hubby, fiance of 12 years, wife for a little less than 1 month now..
My issues are with daughter#1. She has always been very social, very outgoing, extroverted and fun. She danced for a while and now plays competitive soccer. She's a natural born leader, all her teachers have said that since Kindergarten, even in daycare as a little one. She has progressively gotten more and more difficult to deal with. She does things despite the consequence, she seems to not "learn" from the mistake but rather continues to do them regardless.
She has been getting in CONSTANT trouble at school for not being able to respect others space and talking at inappropriate times. She is constantly getting bad marks on her report card for these things and bringing home RED color changes more and more and more, even though she KNOWS there will be consequences at home and school as well. It's like she's just gonna do what in the heck ever she wants no matter who says it's not OK. She lies for no reason, about silly stuff, stuff that makes me say, SERIOUSLY honey, there was not even a good reason to lie about that...I mean, I get kids lying about stuff, they are afraid they will get in trouble or they are just scared, but there are silly trivial things that don't matter and really wouldn't hold a consequence but lying about them then does and she's constantly in trouble...it's terrible....Her teacher told me that she's not that worried about it, she's doing better 1/2 way through the year, but the RED color changes are coming more and more frequently and it's always for inappropriate behavior, speaking at inappropriate times or not respecting other classmates, touching the other kids when they don't want her to..stuff like that.
When playing soccer she doesn't listen to anyone, not coach not her parents not the referee, and when someone does finally make her turn to acknowledge they are speaking to her, she gets angry.
She throws fits when she doesn't get what she wants or we don't pay her closer attention than we do her sister, they are inappropriate fits, even as minute as what song is playing on the radio, it's really crazy.
I mean this kid was so good at 2 y/o that I even said, the terrible twos??? No way, she's an angel! But the day she turned 4, literally the day, something just changed...a switch flipped.
Homework and spelling word review is a nightmare, she doesn't want anyone to help her if she has an issue but she constantly says, I don't know how to spell it, is this plus this equaled to this? I can't figure it out....I don't want to do this I don't want to do that...and fighting me over it, again, despite the consequences she KNOWS that are at the brunt of her misbehavior.
My husband says, you've just spoiled her, she is just rotten...but I'm her mom, I do not spoil her that way, I love her that much......and she does get disciplined, I've NEVER just GIVEN in to her or let her walk all over me for that matter....I'm just beginning to get scared that until I get to the point that I am completely ****** and have absolutely had it, that kid just doesn't care....and then there is spanking involved and loud yelling and mayhem that my now daughter#2 at 2 y/o is hearing...and it's disrupting the house....I have to get a hold of the situation...
So, that being said, any suggestions of am I just dealing with normal 7 year old DIVA emotional behaviors or am I headed for something much worse and at what age do you say, hey, this is NOT just normal behavior and it will pass...because I've been thinking it's going to pass for the last 3.5 years and it's worsening...
I am the 35 y/o mommy to daughter#1 - 7 y/o and daughter#2 - 2 y/o.
I am a wife to my hubby, fiance of 12 years, wife for a little less than 1 month now..
My issues are with daughter#1. She has always been very social, very outgoing, extroverted and fun. She danced for a while and now plays competitive soccer. She's a natural born leader, all her teachers have said that since Kindergarten, even in daycare as a little one. She has progressively gotten more and more difficult to deal with. She does things despite the consequence, she seems to not "learn" from the mistake but rather continues to do them regardless.
She has been getting in CONSTANT trouble at school for not being able to respect others space and talking at inappropriate times. She is constantly getting bad marks on her report card for these things and bringing home RED color changes more and more and more, even though she KNOWS there will be consequences at home and school as well. It's like she's just gonna do what in the heck ever she wants no matter who says it's not OK. She lies for no reason, about silly stuff, stuff that makes me say, SERIOUSLY honey, there was not even a good reason to lie about that...I mean, I get kids lying about stuff, they are afraid they will get in trouble or they are just scared, but there are silly trivial things that don't matter and really wouldn't hold a consequence but lying about them then does and she's constantly in trouble...it's terrible....Her teacher told me that she's not that worried about it, she's doing better 1/2 way through the year, but the RED color changes are coming more and more frequently and it's always for inappropriate behavior, speaking at inappropriate times or not respecting other classmates, touching the other kids when they don't want her to..stuff like that.
When playing soccer she doesn't listen to anyone, not coach not her parents not the referee, and when someone does finally make her turn to acknowledge they are speaking to her, she gets angry.
She throws fits when she doesn't get what she wants or we don't pay her closer attention than we do her sister, they are inappropriate fits, even as minute as what song is playing on the radio, it's really crazy.
I mean this kid was so good at 2 y/o that I even said, the terrible twos??? No way, she's an angel! But the day she turned 4, literally the day, something just changed...a switch flipped.
Homework and spelling word review is a nightmare, she doesn't want anyone to help her if she has an issue but she constantly says, I don't know how to spell it, is this plus this equaled to this? I can't figure it out....I don't want to do this I don't want to do that...and fighting me over it, again, despite the consequences she KNOWS that are at the brunt of her misbehavior.
My husband says, you've just spoiled her, she is just rotten...but I'm her mom, I do not spoil her that way, I love her that much......and she does get disciplined, I've NEVER just GIVEN in to her or let her walk all over me for that matter....I'm just beginning to get scared that until I get to the point that I am completely ****** and have absolutely had it, that kid just doesn't care....and then there is spanking involved and loud yelling and mayhem that my now daughter#2 at 2 y/o is hearing...and it's disrupting the house....I have to get a hold of the situation...
So, that being said, any suggestions of am I just dealing with normal 7 year old DIVA emotional behaviors or am I headed for something much worse and at what age do you say, hey, this is NOT just normal behavior and it will pass...because I've been thinking it's going to pass for the last 3.5 years and it's worsening...