Just Made difficult child 1 Write the "EFF" word 100 times

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by nvts, Dec 20, 2007.

  1. nvts

    nvts Active Member

    I am sooo sick and tired of going to his school (day treatment - also where he learned these words) and having them complain to me that he's using these words.

    I've tried it all, soap on the lips, saying it back to him, room, toys taken away, room longer, etc.

    I told him last week that if he's so proud of these words, he should be able to write them. If he used them again (he ONLY uses them at school) I would make him write them 100 times. I would check spelling and penmanship.

    He started to cry at 50. I made him finish. He confessed that it has become a habit. I told him that every time it happens, I'll add 100 more to the list.


  2. Christal22

    Christal22 New Member

    Good for you! Maybe by the time it's done not will he not use those words but he will also be great at Calligraphy! LOL, :0)
  3. busywend

    busywend Well-Known Member

    Fingers crossed this works!
  4. SearchingForRainbows

    SearchingForRainbows Active Member


    Great idea. The consequence definitely fits your difficult child's poor choice of words. If I told either one of my difficult children to do that, they would probably say "eff" you, you "B"!!! Want to trade your difficult child for one of mine??? :rofl: WFEN
  5. Big Bad Kitty

    Big Bad Kitty lolcat

  6. Star*

    Star* call 911........call 911

    Joo no sumtin? effin if he doz berry vell he duz not like to write 100 more...(insert hispanic Mwah ha ha laugh)
  7. meowbunny

    meowbunny New Member

    I don't think I'd threaten him with 100 more every time he says the word. I did that to my daughter. I'll probably feel guilty about it to my dying day. It wasn't fair to her and accomplished nothing other than wasting my time and her effort.

    I'd recommend that for every time you hear him say it from now on (since it has become a habit, he will say it again), make him sit and write it 10 times. This should reinforce that the word is unacceptable and break the habit as much as writing it 100-200-300 times would (which is the ultimate goal, right?).
  8. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    Did you go to Catholic school by any chance????? :rolleyes: I
    never got my knuckles "tapped" with a ruler but I had to write
    "I will never x y z again etc. etc." a zillion times. Just thinking about it makes my hands hurt! DDD
  9. Kjs

    Kjs Guest

    That is so funny. Oh the memories!

    My brother was taken to the police station for loitering after a basketball game. He was "sentenced" to writing the laws.

    My friends also got busted, underage in a bar. (one year to young) They had to write the laws 500 times.

    My how times have changed.
  10. nvts

    nvts Active Member

    DDD - How'd you guess? I did 12 years of Hard Time with the Nuns and on holidays my aunt would come over and she was a nun! (as it turns out as I got older, she got to be one of my closest friends - I actually named my daughter after her!).

    I got the ruler a few times! :rofl:

    My favorite was when someone got busted, they'd pop you one and say "do unto others...". One kid got in HUGE trouble for yelling back "trust me, I'd LOVE to!" lol!!!

    difficult child 1 got up this morning and about 10 mins before the bus came, asked me to remind him not to use foul language at school. I said "ok" and right before he walked out the door, I held up his paper, said "keep it clean and have a fun day", I got a HUGE hug and a Thanks Mom!

    Meowbunny: great suggestion, but the problem is that I don't EVER hear it. It's ONLY in school which tells me he's "playing to the audience". If it was only the "eff" word, 10 or so times would be ok, but he's using some extremely disgusting phrases as well (I asked the school to provide verbatims and I'm married to a ex-sailor and this kid ruined a perfect dye job on my hair it turned so white from reading it!). Heck, 12 years of Catholic school, 4 of which were all girls high school - I can swear better than my sailor if I so choose!

    This had to be extreme - and most of all he HAD to know that I mean business.

    He wasn't happy and most of all at the end he was embarassed that I had to see the word written by him. It seemed to stiffen his resolve to stop it.

    We shall see....

  11. mom23gsfg

    mom23gsfg New Member

    i had to laugh at this because she called me a "B" once i sat her down to write 100 times "i will not call people names."
    it didnt work she came running to me with paper in hand smiling and said look mommy and the child had written it 150 x's and was wanting to know if she could write it some more!lol
    however a while back she lied to me so ,i made her go and tell the truth about a lie she'd told to 5 people and had to tell them the truth(lets jus say i havent caught he in any more lately)
  12. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    Beth, did you ever watch that movie "The Trouble With Angels"??
    That script was fairly close to my best friend Colleen and me at
    Saint Theresas. Holy Moly! Colleen stayed at the school until
    high school graduation. Our friendship lapsed when I finally was
    successful begging my Protestant Daddy to "get me away from those
    Nuns"! :rofl: Seven years was enough for me.

    on the other hand, I have the Catholic guilt in my blood and feel guilty when
    I say something that "is not ladylike" even though I am over 65.
    Those nuns knew how to contain easy child's and difficult child's, didn't they? DDD
  13. Kjs

    Kjs Guest

    husband and I had the nuns too. Best years of my life was at that school! not at the time, but thinking back to the rulers and knock's on the head.
  14. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Brilliant, Beth! LOL!
    It's something you can make him do over and over again, too ...
  15. meowbunny

    meowbunny New Member

    I'm a firm believer that school issues stay at school. I would talk to my daughter when I heard she had done something wrong but only to see if we could find a better way for her to handle the incident. I would suggest to her teachers things that had worked at home to stop certain behaviors but I expected the teachers to handle the classroom. I handled the homefront.

    Since he is "only" cursing at school, I'd suggest to the teacher that he stay in a recess or two and write the words or whatever was deemed appropriate. Expecting you to stop school behavior that is exascerbated by his peers is almost impossible. Sorry, this should be on the teacher's and school's plate.
  16. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    I like the punishment. Creative parenting at it's best. :bravo:

    But I'm wondering like MB if it would be more effective if the teacher was the one dishing out the consequences? Or do they even do that anymore? (writing sentences and such) Especially since this behavior is only seen at school.
  17. flutterbee

    flutterbee Guest

    I like the punishment, too. Like MB, I wonder what they are doing about it in school. I know with my difficult child, I have to be there to prompt her or correct her immediately. She just doesn't think that far ahead.
  18. mrscatinthehat

    mrscatinthehat Seussical

    Oh the days of sentences. I can't tell you how many of those I wrote. I went to public school not parochial but boy did my mom threaten me with it. She said if I didn't shape up in the public school off to the nuns I go. I was terrified. Didn't get in much trouble after that.

  19. wakeupcall

    wakeupcall Well-Known Member

    Our doctors say IF we are going to make him write that he should write positive statements rather than, "I will NOT ___" He should write (for instance), "I WILL speak appropriately in the classroom."

    Yep, times have changed. I wonder how many times I had to write, "I will not talk in class."? By the way.....it never worked for me.
  20. nvts

    nvts Active Member

    The problem is that difficult child 1 is an aspie but the school he's in is day treatment for emotionally disturbed or behavioral kids. They (up until recently) handled all kids the same way. Consequences were trips to the crisis intervention room (where they're basically allowed to blow off steam, aka have a tantrum in an enclosed environment) because they've hit their limit. They are then counciled, show remorse and are sent back to class.

    difficult child 1 however, viewed the CIT as somewhere to go to act like an animal. Kicking, screaming, cursing where he would literally stay all day. Why not? He's not required to do work and he can do stuff he wouldn't dare pull at home.

    Considering the fact that they've come along in the ways (as the result of many meetings, and head banging trying to figure out the best road to take) in trying to help him rather than trying to contain him, I needed to step in on this issue. It's pretty much the ONLY thing that hasn't come along. Since it's the ONLY issue that I've left alone and it hasn't changed it was time to let him know who's boss.

    As far as it goes, I don't think this will be a miraculous solution, but we tried the "school is school" and "home is home" method and it could only be described as a kick in the teeth. "Damian - Omen 2" showed up at school every day and "Little Lord Fauntleroy" got off the bus at home, just short of bragging about what he did at school.

    I figure at this point, it's worth a shot!