I have to take Q to the neuro today....was gonna take him to the pediatrician. but then I forgot we already had this set up. I need him to not fall apart and not hurt me. i dont feel my usual resilient self. Hormones I think, still haven't had my dr appointment because it is later on.... He hit me where I had a bruise recovering so now it is a mixed old color and new..yuck. luckily it is cold and I wear sweaters. I stuck to my consequence last night, but here is what always happens..... I have gotten into that mode and his behaviors are getting worse. He just gets to obsessive about being worried he wont get to watch his sports etc. Sometimes , as TeDo and I have discussed, I have to sit with him and say we need a do-over. He then calms and we have lots more good days. I just have to let go and not worry that people will think I am not a consistent disciplinarian. I go to school after the appointment for my volunteer day but since he really attacked me at school yesterday, I dont know if I should go. It will probably be ok because it is the routine, and he does fine with that...yesterday I had to go becasue he refused to take his medications, then by the time I could come they had worn off. I got him to take them but it takes 30 minutes for them to kick in... The nurse said he was shut down both times she went to give him medications... Really, I worry they just let him lie around in that little room doing nothing... but then again, maybe he needs to shut down to keep from blowing up or maybe he is too tired or hungry or post seizure, it all just sucks. We need a good day.