Just need some encouragement

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by cats55, Jun 2, 2008.

  1. cats55

    cats55 New Member

    My difficult child is wearing me out. This past week has proven to be interesting, to say the least. Last Tuesday evening her boyfriend took her to the ER because of a severe headache and continual vomitting. The headache was on the right side of her head and her right leg wasn't working correctly. The ER doctor thought she might have an aneurysm so they did a CT scan which didn't show any bleeding in her brain. They also did a lumbar puncture (not for sure why) but this of course worsened her headaches. The doctor finally told her that he thought she was having migraines. Sent her home with prescriptions for 2 medications. She called me the next day and asked me if I could buy them for her, and I did (only about $20). My husband and I went by to check on her yesterday and she's still sick. The phenergan makes her so sleepy and the pain medications don't seem to be working much. Anyway, we went to the store and bought some bottled water for her because she still is without water at her apartment. Bought her a few items to help sustain her. She's getting very thin. I'm really concerned about her and don't know how much I should help. It's just really hard to stay "up" when you see your adult child so sick. I told her yesterday that she was the only one responsible for herself (since she tends to blame everyone else for what is happening to her). She said that she knew that. We've agreed to take her to our chiropractor to see if that will give her some relief. It seems now, that I'm the one that needs the relief.:brokenheart:
  2. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    I don't know much about your story, Cat, but I do hope that things will get better for you and for your difficult child. Is this the 29 or 27 year old?

    I hope that you will do what you are comfortable with to make her safe, and understand that it is unreasonable for you to make long term commitments to her. I hope that you will know that you are not alone on that.
  3. Star*

    Star* call 911........call 911

    Cat -

    I'm sending you tons of encouragement. I'm curios what migraine medicines anyone could possibly get for $20. Mine are outrageous - BUT I also know

    The weather can influence them
    Hormones influence them
    Not eating properly will influence them
    Caffeine withdrawl from not eating - OHhhhhh bad.

    Also - packing your head in ice helps me tremendously - sometimes even more than the medicine.

    Excederine Migraine tablets OTC can sometimes stave off the pressure kind when I get unilateral headaches IF I take it as SOON as I get even a twinge and recognize the "light faries" or light auras - mine looks like snow coming down.

    When I get crippling migraines the ONLy thing I can take that will help is Relpax. If I get them in time - I can usually help my head and go lay down with ice, sleep and wake up weak but not in pain. When I get the whoppers - NOTHING helps and it's off for a shot in the kiester and some phenegran for nausea. I hate them - I can't walk, or talk.

    I would think - her's are probably worsened by the fact that she does not eat. You may mention that to her.

    Good luck - and no, I dont' care what age your "kids" are = it's never easy to walk away from them in this type of situation. Ever. Go with your gut. And go get an adjustment.
  4. hearts and roses

    hearts and roses Mind Reader

    Sending hugs Cat. I hope the chiropractic care helps, I know it always helps me and my girls.

    It's so difficult to stand idly by and watch their condition deteriorate without wanting to stepping in and help. Like Witz said, do what you're comfortable with, without stressing yourself out.

    ps: Dehydration will also aggravate a headache/migraine...you mentioned something about her place being without water...just a thought about her being dehydrated.
  5. cats55

    cats55 New Member

    I too was concerned about the cost of the medications being so low, but then I really don't think the ER doctor knows for sure that the headaches are migraines.

    She certainly has not been eating right and we've tried to keep her stocked up on bottled water.

    You know, I think what is so disheartening is knowing that she was so full of life at one time. When she was 17 yo she went on a missions trip with-our church to Russia and was able to minister to the young people there. She had such a memorable time while she was there.

    I just read another posting and can't remember who wrote it but in it she said that we have to remember for them that they were better than who they are right now. That really touched me.

    Thank you for the encouragement. My heart has really felt like just breaking this morning.
  6. everywoman

    everywoman Active Member

    It is so difficult to watch a child (at any age) of yours suffer in pain. I hope she gets some relief soon.
  7. mom_to_3

    mom_to_3 Active Member

    I'm sorry you're feeling so sad. I think I would be too if I were in your situation. We have paid for medications for my difficult child in the past when a situation has been serious. Our difficult child got shingles at 22yrs. of age. I couldn't stand by and watch her in pain, so we also bought her medication. She's had this happen twice now.

    Hugs for your heart. I would do whatever to help make her feel better at this point. You can always put your warrior hat back on when she has recouped.
  8. Suz

    Suz (the future) MRS. GERE

    Yes, absolutely. Rob never seems to have the kinds of jobs that offer medical insurance. When he's "really" sick, when it's not the result of self-inflicted irresponsibility (ie drugs/alcohol/partying), I've also paid for doctor visits and medications.

    I hope your daughter feels better and they get to the bottom of this soon.

  9. cats55

    cats55 New Member

    Just an update:

    The chiropractor said that it will take awhile for the fluids in her body to get balanced again after the lumbar puncture. Amber says she feels better but is still vomiting. I asked her if she was ready to come to our house for a while until she can get better and she said that she was. So now, I guess a little TLC is in order. Hope we can get her back on her feet.
  10. Andy

    Andy Active Member

    My difficult child has been prescribed Gaterade and Vitamin B-2 (for 11 years old, he gets 50 mg in morning and 50 mg at night) to help prevent migranes. They do come when he is starting to dehydrate. He is suppose to drink plenty of Gaterade and water each day. I think garterade has something in it that your body needs when dehydrated.

    I would worry about the leg also not working? Is that common for the more serious migranes? Just doesn't sound right to me. Is there anyway to get her into a family doctor? ER doctors tend to treat the moment only - "You can walk and talk and are not bleeding, you can go home now" My sister's husband would end up in ER a lot. They would give him pain relievers while waiting for the doctor and when it was his turn, the doctor would say, "Why are you here if you fell better?" No looking further for the real problem because it was no longer an emergency issue.

    I hope she feels well soon - headaches are no fun and migranes are horrid. At this point I will hope it is just an untreated migrane gone wild and not something else.
  11. Ally

    Ally New Member

    Sometimes after a lumbar puncture the whole doesnt close and spinal fluid continues to leak out causing a horrible headache. As soon as the person stands up it gets worse, the best position being lying down for them. If it continues on for more than a week a procedure called a "blood patch" can be done. It involves having an epidural done and your own blood being injected into it. The blood then clots in the leak therefore closing it. If her headache doesnt get better it might be something to inquire about.
  12. standswithcourage

    standswithcourage New Member

    I feel for you also. I dont know much about migraines but I will remember you in prayer.
  13. Abbey

    Abbey Spork Queen

    How scary! The right leg not working properly seems to me to be a red flag for the doctor. But...I'm not a doctor.

    Sounds like you're just being a good mom. You're not enabling her, just helping her when she's in need.

  14. meowbunny

    meowbunny New Member

    I'm a migraine sufferer. If it is really severe (left sided, nausea, praying someone will just cut my head off), my leg and arm will become weaker and not function properly. This usually happens when the migraine has lasted more than two days. It is a side effect of migraines, albeit an uncommon one.

    Actually, if the doctor only gave her a pill or two, $20 is not that unreasonable.

    Glad she is willing to come home for some TLC. Do you think she is becoming (or is) anorexic or bulemic? If so, she's going to need a lot more help. Hope things get better for her.
  15. crazymama30

    crazymama30 Active Member

    FWIW, the right side of her head (brain) would control the left side of her body and vice versa. hope she is feeling better.